Goodbye is like a million hearts breaking all at once. My goodbye was similar to this but only alot worse. I loved him more than I have ever thought possible. Our love was
strong, but I still had my doubts. When he left I knew he wasn't leaving me, he was leaving to fight for me and for other people in the world and for our country. Which made me despise this
country and everyone in it. We never really talked about it much because he knew how I felt about it. It's been a month since he has been gone and I feel as if I can't breathe. I stand alone
in this house and it feels like these walls are closing in on me. I try to be strong, but how can I knowing he could die any second. I close my eyes and all I see is him. My bestfriend is taking me
to the doctors today because I havn't been feeling well. I don't wanna go but her and her mom are making me. My bestfriend is also my husbands sister. She has helped me alot. if it wasn't for
her I don't think I could have made it this far. I havn't ate anything in days; just worried sick about my love. I havn't really talked much to anyone, just kept my thoughts and feelings to
myself. The phone rang and my heart stopped; what if this was the call saying that he wouldn't be coming back home. I despised the phone. However; I slowly picked it up. "Hello" I said into the
reciever very weakly. It was just my bestfriend saying she was here. I grabbed a jacket. Her and her mom were in the front seat so I climbed into the back. "You don't look so good hun" Her mom
said to me. I leaned my head against the door. I felt as if I was going to pass out at any second. "have you heard anything?" She didn't say what about, but I knew what she was talking
about. "No" I said as tears started to flow making my eyes burn. "it will be okay hun, I'm sure he's fine" I knew she was just trying to comfort me but it wasn't working because i was still
hallow and empty inside. We finally got to the doctors office and had to wait in the waiting room. I sat in a chair next to the bathroom door. In a chair next to me; Ma and Sandra sat. No one spoke
a word which I'm thankful for because I really didn't feel like crying in front of them. The nurse called us back to a room. I sat on a table and she took my temperature. "wow that's high" the
nurse said "its 104" said the nurse. Yep that meant I definitely had a fevor. "were just gonna run a couple tests" said the nurse. Ma and Sandra stared at her kind of worried. "what kinds of
tests" Ma asked. The nurse studied her clip board and then glaced at me and back at Ma. "Well she has a fevor which might be due to stress but if all her symptoms add up right she might be
pregnant" said the nurse. Ma kinda smiled and so did Sandra. The nurse left the room and it was just me, Ma, and Sandra. The silence was extreamly awkward. I just wanted to go home and cry but I
knew I couldn't do that right now. "Do you think your pregnant?" Sandra asked me. I looked up at her, glanced at the clock then glanced back at her. "I don't know I havn't really thought about
it" SAndra and Ma just stared at me. I could tell that they were really worried about me. "Look I know it's really hard with him gone, but were here for you" I didn't really know what to say. My
eyes burned and tears threatened to spill but I wouldn't let them. A nurse came in and did some blood work on me. Then she lft the room again. "I'm sorry I havn't really been talking much I just
don't know what to say and I don't want to cry in front of you guys. I'm really sorry" I said as the tears spilled and I couldn't stop them. They both stood up and came over to give me a
hug. As much as I thought that I could handle everything on my own. It turns out I was wrong, because I'm a mess. "It's okay hun. we know how you feel but everything will be okay.. maybe he
will call or write or something" Ma said. The nurse finally came back into the room with her clipboard in hand. "congradulations your definitely pregnant; I've signed you up for some prenatal
vitamins that I want you to take daily. You can pick them up in about an hour at your nearst drugmart" I hopped off the table. We walked out to the car in silence. "Do you want to spend the night
with me? it might help take your mind off things." Sandra said. I smiled up at her and yeah she was right it probably would help get my mind off of things. "yeah if its okay with your parents" we
both looked up at Ma and she started the car. "Yeah you can hun" she said. Okay to be honest this is the first time i've actually thought about what the nurse had said. And everything just now
clicked in my head. "I'm pregnant" I blurted out. Sandra and Ma both looked back at me and laughed. "yeah did it just now click?" Sandra asked. I didn't answer just nodded my head. "well that's
not good" I said.
"Why?" Sandra asked. I looked down at my feet. It wasn't good. This was something you should be able to share with your partner but I can't do that because he is gone and I don't know when or if he is coming back. "I can't tell Michael" I put my head against the door and fell into a deep sleep. I was back in a memory of me and Michael. We were laying in bed together just talking like we usually do. "I love you so much" he had said to me.
"I love you more" he kissed my forehead. "wait here I've got a surprise for you" he goit up and walked over to his dresser. "You know its no my birthday yet" I said.
"I know babygirl" he came over to me. Hidingt something behind his back, he kissed my lips, Then brought his right hand that held the object he had been hiding, into the light. He held a black box, he opened it to reveal a diamond ring.. a wedding ring. It was beautiful. "Marry me?" he asked. I smiled up at him and kissed him long and hard. He laughed. "is that a yes?" I nodded my head. Then finally got my voice back. "yes"
"Wake up hun were here" Ma said bringing me back to the present. I never wanted to wake up. I wiped the tears that had begun to protrude. I followed them inside and sat on the couch getting comfortable. I always felt at home here.
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