Reads: 489
Comments: 20

Chapter 1: The Message


I woke up in a cold sweat.

It was the middle of the night, but I wasn't about to ignore my dream. Besides, I wouldn't get much sleep if I was to return to bed anyways.

I tied my duel short swords to my belt and threw my gray cloak on over my sleeveless black robes. Swiftly bringing the hood over my long, dirty blonde hair, I moved across the room to the door.

I left the inn and made my way to the main road. Scanning the surroundings, I saw nothing. Until something in the sky caught my eye.

A raven.

I saw the piece of parchment tied to it's leg. Gonna have to move quickly, I thought. I pulled a dagger from the back of my belt, and I threw it at the raven. It was a clear shot, and the bird had been hit in the neck. Even at night, I still had an excellent throw. I removed the parchment from its leg and read the message scrawled down on the paper:


You were right. The war is coming. Lumagnos is launching the first attack tomorrow. Leave Caela at daybreak and meet me here in the capital as soon as possible.

-Aria of Zephyrus"

I told her not to sign the name, I thought, feeling frustrated. I pulled my dagger from the bird and sheathed it on the back of my belt. Caela wasn't a big city, but I knew they would be suspicious of a dead raven in the street. I picked up the bird and found a dark alley in the outskirts of the town. There I disposed of the raven carcass. No one who lived there would care or notice. I would know.

I returned to the inn and went back to bed. I slept only about an hour, before I woke and lay there motionless until the sun rose. I paid the innkeeper before setting out for Lumagnos. The capital city lay far to the west, but it was a journey I would have to make if I was to avoid this war for now. I was looking forward to being reunited with the other Zephyrians more than anything else.

Zephyrus was the clan that I began as an elite group of fighters. When my parents were killed, I started this clan to bring justice to the darkness and shadows of the kingdom of Cyenthos. I was 14 when they were killed, and Zephyrus was formed when I was 15 years old. Including me, there were nine Zephyrians total.

I walked out of the city with my hood up and my weapons at the ready. I kept a careful watch. Danger was always around me. I walked swiftly down the stone roads of Caela as I neared the edge of the city. It might have been my home at one point, but Zephyrus was my home now.

It would be a three day journey on foot to the capital city of Lumagnos. I walked down the pathway through a grove of trees.

I stopped dead, as my eyes grew cold.

I turned towards the trees just as two men dressed in rags jumped out.

"Where do you think you're going?" one said, raising one eyebrow. He pointed a knife at me, in a pathetic attempt to threaten me.

"You don't know who you're dealing with, do you?" I smirked.

One of them rushed at me as I made this comment. I pulled a short sword from my belt and disarmed him before he could even get close. I drew the other sword, and I stood there as they looked at me. I could see the fear in their eyes, and they could probably see the confidence in mine.

I turned and left.

Sheathing the swords on my belt, I continued on the path to Lumagnos. I didn't have time for stupid delays. The war had begun, and it was time I returned to Zephyrus. Lumagnos was my goal and these fools weren't going to stop me even for a second.

I began to run after a while. This journey was too long to spend all day walking. I continued to pace myself until I heard the hoofbeats.

A horse was the fastest way to the city. I stopped to look around some. I spotted the rider a little ways up the path, and they were heading my way. I backed slowly into the trees. Watching the approaching rider, I knew that he was a pawn of Lumagnos by his uniform. I quickly drew my dagger, concealing it inside my cloak, and stepped slowly out onto the path. The rider saw me standing there and he slowed to halt in front of me. Perfect. Stealing this horse would be much easier now.

"Get out of the way peasant!" he yelled at me with anger.

"Oh okay," I said calmly, "just on my way to Lumagnos. Riding horseback is a lot faster than traveling on foot."

"What are you talking about fool?" he said, looking annoyed and confused, "You aren't riding— "
The dagger was through his heart before he could finish his sentence.

I dragged the body a decent distance out into the grove. Sheathing my knife, I smiled and mounted the gray horse. Turning westward, I set out for Lumagnos. A three day journey just became a one day journey. By nightfall, I would be in the city as well as reunited with the rest of Zephyrus.

The horse was owned by the kingdom for an obvious reason. His speed surpassed any horse I had ever seen. Together we chased the sun towards the capital.

I could see the light from the city by sunset. However, as I grew closer, I heard an unsettling commotion. When I reached the outskirts of the city, I dismounted the gray stallion. I couldn't keep a horse that was stolen from the kingdom. I sent him back on the path in the direction that we had come.

Then I heard the screams and smelled the smoke.

People ran wild in the streets while buildings were burning. This was not Lumagnos. This was the result of war.

It was not long until a hooded figure in a gray cloak approached me.

"The wind blows ever westward," the figure said.

"This gale has carried me here," I responded to the riddle. I had created it to recognize a member of Zephyrus when necessary.

"Welcome back Velleon," Aria said solemnly.

"Good to see you," I responded, observing the city in shambles around us, "How are the others?"

"Come with me, and I will show you," she stated, looking worried.

I followed Aria through the city until we entered an abandoned building that was away from the danger. There I saw the other Zephyrians I had been missing so much. They all smiled weakly at me as they recognized their leader's face. I counted the gray-cloaked figures standing around me. Including myself, I counted a total of eight.

Submitted: August 08, 2013

© Copyright 2022 Velleon. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:



This was good, well written. It reminded me cross between Skyrim and Assiasins Creed. Great start to a novel but not my kinda genre :-)

Sat, August 10th, 2013 7:52am


Ok that's cool. Thanks for the feedback though. I'm really grateful for any comments or reviews. =)

Sat, August 10th, 2013 6:43am

Effy Roams

Very interesting, I liked this alot. I love your ability to add details, and all of this is just bravo. I look for errors, but I'm blinded XD Sorry it took me so long to get here. Haven't gotten on much, schools starting really soon, XD

Sun, August 11th, 2013 9:36pm


Oh yeah I get where you're coming from with the school thing. I start this week. Also you confused me a bit lol when you said "I look for errors, but I'm blinded". That's a good thing right? XD I really appreciate the feedback and if you wish to be updated just drop a comment on my page. Thanks! =)

Sun, August 11th, 2013 6:11pm

Freebird Writer

I liked this chapter, it is a good start. It flowed nicely and was easy to follow. I am eager to see where this goes. This isn't the type of novel I normally read but I'm always up for reading some thing new so before I dismiss this completely I will read a few more chapter. So let me know when the next chapter is out

Mon, August 12th, 2013 12:56am


No problem! I will update when the next chapter is up. Thanks for reading and commenting too. I'm always up for feedback from my readers. Thanks! =)

Sun, August 11th, 2013 6:13pm


Ohhh, bit of a cliff hanger there. Wonder where the ninth one is? Your writing is very crisp and neat which I appreciate. I really liked the line about chasing the sun. I've never heard that before. I can tell I will like Velleon. He's very cunning and it sounds like his life has made him that way. This isn't something I normally read but this has caught my interest so please keep me updated as more comes!

Fri, August 16th, 2013 10:05pm


Thanks I sooo appreciate the compliment. Yeah and the whole sun thing I came up with like the idea of how they are travelling west and it sets in the west lol. Just the little bit of poet in me. I sure will keep you updated! Thanks for the feedback =)

Fri, August 16th, 2013 3:28pm


This is very good, and I'm not just saying because of the reading request! This is one of my favourite genres to read, because I like people in cloaks tbh :)
This is beautifully describe, and I can't wait for the next chapter!
please Keep me Updated!

Sat, August 17th, 2013 9:51am


Thank you so much. When readers give me comments like this it means so much to me, and I really do appreciate the feedback. I will be keeping you updated. =)

Sat, August 17th, 2013 5:44am

Gina Earp

This is very well written, I'm glad I took this reading request :)

Sat, August 17th, 2013 11:18am


Thank you. =) I'm really glad that I can please my readers.

Sat, August 17th, 2013 5:47am

Complicated Girl

Although I'm not good at fantasy, I love to read this genre. Great start... On to the next one

Sat, August 17th, 2013 3:09pm


Cool. Hope you like it!

Sat, August 17th, 2013 8:18am


It intrigued me. The details were fascinating, and I love how you created a world of your own and made it work. Reading this reminded me of Assassin's Creed (love that game!) Haha anyway! I didn't see many errors, but I do have one suggestion of feedback. I noticed you use a lot of passive voice when you could use active in places. I would just suggest playing with that. Very well done though!

Sat, August 17th, 2013 3:48pm


Cool. And thanks for the alert about the passive voice. I appreciate the comment and I invite you to leave a comment on my page if you want to be updated. Thanks for reading and commenting. =)

Sat, August 17th, 2013 9:00am

Lady Moon

Good intro :D

Sat, August 17th, 2013 8:12pm


Thanks. =) Feel free to read more or leave a comment on my page to be added to the update list so you will know when the next chapter is up.

Sat, August 17th, 2013 1:56pm


This is actually really interesting :) well done. I like it.

Sat, August 17th, 2013 9:27pm


Thank you =) Feel free to read and comment on the next chapter and if you want I can update you. To join the update list either tell me "keep me updated" in a comment on chapter 2 or somethin OR you can leave a comment on my page to be added to my update list. Thanks!

Sat, August 17th, 2013 2:31pm


Interesting start, it had a sort of RPG feel to it, and I liked the first person point of view. Good job.

Sun, August 18th, 2013 2:23am


Thank you =) If you want to be updated on chapter releases just leave a comment on my page, and I'll add you to the list. I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks! =)

Sat, August 17th, 2013 7:27pm

Joel Twister

is very original!!!! love it !!!

Sun, August 18th, 2013 9:56am


Thanks so much for reading and commenting! Just leave on comment on my page if you want to be updated on chapter releases. =)

Sun, August 18th, 2013 5:30am

Miss Fellis

Dark, mysterious, awesome, love this!

Sun, August 18th, 2013 3:20pm


Thanks so much! =) If you want updates when I release chapters just leave on comment on my page, and I will add you to the list.

Sun, August 18th, 2013 8:28am


Very interesting read. You will have to keep me updated on your chapters.

Sun, August 18th, 2013 4:02pm


No problem! =) I will add you to my updates list. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Sun, August 18th, 2013 9:05am


well written and very original. keep it up ^.^

Sun, August 18th, 2013 5:28pm


Thanks. Feel free to check out the next chapter and if you wish to be updated you can leave a comment on my page and I will add you to the list. =)

Sun, August 18th, 2013 10:51am


Brilliant! Liked

Sun, August 18th, 2013 6:00pm


Thanks so much for reading and commenting! If you like you can read on and I can also update you. Just leave a comment on my page and I will add you to the update list. =)

Sun, August 18th, 2013 11:17am


Great! Please keep me updated! I love reading fantasy novels..

Sun, August 18th, 2013 7:35pm


No problem! =) I will be glad to add you to my updates list. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Sun, August 18th, 2013 12:36pm


Fantastic start, it kept my interest throughout and i truly enjoyed it. Thank you and keep me updated, please. Now to read chapter 2...

Mon, August 19th, 2013 12:04am


I will add you to the update list =) Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy chapter 2!

Sun, August 18th, 2013 5:29pm


I must say I like the fact that it's told from one persons prespective.
Most of the stories I read (I must admit I do it as well .) are third party relate.
But I like this, better add me to the list :)

Mon, August 19th, 2013 12:06am


No problem! Will add you to my update list right away. =) Thanks for your comment. I look forward to your feedback in the future!

Sun, August 18th, 2013 5:30pm

Irish wolf hound

Lovely! Thankfully I really do enjoy this genre, so please, do keep me updated! Thank you for inviting me to read this... I just absolutely love it... Sorry, I have no other words! ;D Keep it up... Please do!

Mon, August 19th, 2013 3:48am


No problem! =D Will add you to the update list. Thanks!

Mon, August 19th, 2013 1:48pm

Facebook Comments

Other Content by Velleon

Book / Fantasy

Book / Fantasy

Short Story / Horror