I walked inside with a sense of relief and brushed my arms fervishly in a further attempt to get warm. The parrish were conversating at the other end of the Cathedral. The congregation were scattered delicately across the long row of pews,waiting for the Minister to start our Morning Worship service. I walked down the long aisle and took a seat in the front pew. I thought about this morning and Prayed Thanks for it to God, also remembering to Forgive all souls, repentance of my many sins, the Baptism, and more Prayers of Thanks to God. I didn't tell anyone that I was a Southern Baptist rather than a Catholic. Not that I said anything to others at all, I considered myself a kind woman but still didn't say much to any one at Service. I know the the Faiths all had their traditions but I considered them one and equal as long as they were a Faith of believing in Jesus Christ as the Bible said we are One in His Body. I did wonder if anyone would question my being here if I weren't a Catholic, myself. It was a flaw enough of mine that I was supposed to be in a fellowship with brothers and sisters but made a living of keeping myself apart from others when I had the chance to. not out of despite, but I just grew up learning to keep myself as company.
At home, everyone had their own lives they were living. I was often left alone and left to occupy myself with a deep and vivid imagination that had to last me all through out my day. And when I was among them, I was still off in my own world daydreaming as long as we weren't saying much to one another.
My goals weren't to keep away from people, necessarily. A part of me wanted to join in. A sentence of love and life in the company of pleasures that made up a good woman's life. A sentiment from a memory and a choice to leave it behind when it passed. A segregated life not what I needed either. The sentiments In made in difference weren't from things that were real, but were from imaginations that I acted out in the privacy of my own home for entertainment.
The farther that time went on, the more I wanted to look at my clock and see when the Service was going to start. I moved aside as an old couple took a seat and giddily lifted their hands in Worship even before the Service began. I'm sure God was smiling down on them, and in hopes myself from above.
A man stepped out from behind the pew and touched my shoulder with a grace of elegance before a standing ovation ensued among the congregation. I got up and his hand still remained in place on the shoulder with his other lifted up to God. I best imagined it was a member of the congregation, one of those nice ones who opened themselves to strangers. I patted his hand and looked up at the front at the Altar. Jesus Bore our Sins on the Cross and His Body hung on a Cross hung above us at the front of the Church. I resonated a passing glance at the gentleman again, studiously telling myself that the right thing would be to welcome him in to my heart like a friend and smile. The gentlemen looked back at me and said "May God Bless You." I said it back. He winked with his large and overbearing brows salt and peppered heavily over his eyes. I imagined he was at least sixty years old and his wrinkled danced across his face like would Monet paint of a bare desert He told me this his favorite thing was "to say happy things to a fellow companion." Before turning his attention away from me and raining His hand back to God. I simply nodded at him with a smile and turned away. Bearing in mind, the jurisdiction of love that was present, I still pulled away inside...that annoying aberrancy that said I was doing fine alone.
The Service ended a couple hours later and I left the Church with a face silently screaming in unison with tired eyes. When the Church closed it's doors behind me, I walked down the long and wide stone steps towards Frank who waited patiently for me by my door. "Ah, miss Victoria, did we have a lovely service, this morning?" I nodded nonchalantly and walked over to the door. I didn't have to wait long for him to open it for me and I climbed inside, laying down placidly in the back seat in a curled ball. A part of me was feeling a bit better to go home and spend some time alone. A good idea would be to get some sleep before tonight's festivities I planned for myself, anyway. Oh, what a dear friend I would’ve been to someone and could have them come over with a warm welcome if I just opened myself up a little more. "But alas, I must will it first," I thought. And God Willing, I'll be coming home soon.
© Copyright 2016 Victoria Anne Marie. All rights reserved.
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