Unpredicted

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

It's nowhere near being finished but i have the first couple chapters and would appreciate if you could give your opinion on them. :D

Chapter 1 (v.1) - Unpredicted

Submitted: December 02, 2011

Reads: 115

Comments: 2

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Submitted: December 02, 2011

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I’ve never thought sacrificing your life for someone you love was a brave act. I thought it was selfish. Because you’re not saving that person’s life by giving your own; you’re condemning them to a lifetime of suffering and grief and despair. If that person you’re “saving” really loved you then they wouldn’t recover from losing you. Sure they’d move past it, hell they might even be happy. But the pain of losing you would always be with them, like a disease, grasping onto their heart and weighing it down. For the rest of their life they would mourn you. And where would you be?

Gone.

#

I stared without breathing at the man who wanted to kill my mother.

 “I’m sorry, Miss Black, but there’s nothing we can do, your mother is in what we call a persistent vegetative state. We have done various tests since her accident and have had no sign of brain activity, I have reason to believe that she will never recover and that the best course of action now is to turn off her life support.”

His words were like bullets to my heart, each one piercing through it like a hot knife through butter. The doctor continued talking but I couldn’t make any of it out, all I could hear was my heartbeat pounding in my ears in a fast paced tattoo. My vision started to tunnel and I was slowly losing my grip of reality.

My mother was my everything; she had raised me on her own and kept me safe from those who wished me harm. We had travelled around the globe together my whole life and I had never been on my own. Until that dreadful night twelve months ago.

How could I let her go now, after 17 years of unity?

“… I don’t want you to make a decision now, obviously, and since you are the next of kin – and the only family she has, I want you to take your time and think seriously about this, about what’s best for your mother

I didn’t miss the slight emphasis he put on those last two words and his silent message didn’t escape me. I had to think of my mother before myself, I couldn’t leave her dangling on the thin thread of life she clung on to forever. The weight on my shoulders constricted around me to encompass my chest and I didn’t think I could keep it together much longer. I needed to see her.

#

“Hello, mum” I whispered as I crept in to her room. It was almost comical that for the past year, every time I came into her room to see her I would always do so with caution, as if any loud sounds would disturb her.  But I knew that even if I brought a brass band in here to play thriller, her favourite song, she wouldn’t so much as twitch an eyelid.

She lay strait on her bed with her arms at her sides, connected to various tubes and beeping machines. She looked a little pasty and her hair wasn’t glossy and healthy as it used to be but other than that she just looked asleep. She was wearing her cotton night gown with a sheep on it and I remembered the day she bought it, how excited she got because it was on sale.

I sat on the plastic chair situated next to her bed and took her limp hand in my shaking one.

“I…” I didn’t know how to finish. What could I say to the only family I had ever known and I was about to lose? I thought hard about how I could tell her the jumble of thoughts that were buzzing through my mind; how I could tell her she was going to die soon.

“It’s been a long time since the accident and we’ve been in Edinburgh for a whole year, that’s the longest we’ve been anywhere, and you weren’t even here to enjoy the normalcy of it with me.” 

I paused, waiting for a response, even though I’d never get one. I steeled myself for what I was about to say out loud for the first time.

“I’m going to have to head away soon, their probably getting close to us now.”

I felt tears gather in my eyes but refused to let them fall. After everything I’d been through in that year I had only cried twice and after the second time I swore never to do it again, I needed to be strong, especially now.

“I’m going to let you go now, mum. I know that’s what you would want, so that I could move on and I promise you, I won’t let them get me. You will not die for nothing.”

I tightened my grip on her hand as a sob escaped my lips. I wished I could do things properly for her, give her a real funeral and a burial, but I had neither the time nor the money so I had to leave her in the hands of strangers.  It made me feel sick to my stomach.

With the other hand I touched the two necklaces around my neck, ying and yang pendants, one on each chain. One belonging to me, the other to my mum. She bought them for us on my 12th birthday and told me they were to represent the bond we shared, that we were two half’s of a whole and we balanced each other out.

Where I was quick tempered she was rational and thought things through. I was a joker and always had a witty comment to cheer up the mood; she always had a plan to save our butts from discovery. She was a morning person; I was a night owl. We were two sides of the same coin.

I tried to hold onto the miniscule bit of strength I had left but as I looked at her cold, blank face the first tear slid down my cheek. As the floodgates opened and my vision blurred I unclasped the white pendant from my neck and as I put it around my mum’s I whispered the last words I would ever say to her.

“Sweet dreams, mum.”

And I turned around and walked out the door, silent tears of anguish streaming down my face.


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