I'm Sorry I Hurt You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Me apologizing to my parents after my whole cutting thing, and not telling them and hurting them terribly. Ha Ha it's REALLY long....

I'm sorry.

I know that it's just an apology.

But I mean it.

I am.

The thought that you,

Might hate me,

For telling the truth,

Would hurt me more,

Then the pain I feel,

Whenever I cut myself.

I held it in.

I waited too long.

And now it's pouring out.

I'm sorry,

That this is all had to happen.

I'm sorry,

That this is what it's all about.

The way you treated me.

The way I loved you.

I felt it was unfair.

But I never thought that urting myself,

Would make the thing seem weird.

I never knew,

That what I did,

Was paining everyone.

I tried so hard,

To help myself.

I didn't think,

Of anyone else.

I was trying so hard,

Not to be selfish.

But In the making,

I was.

I'm sorry that I hurt you.

I'm sorry that I did.

And I know I'll never be forgiven;

This is a bad timing,

I know it is,

Believe me.

But the feelings just can't stay hidden.

My friends always said,

That I should cute,

Because that way,

The pain won't spread.

The emotional pain,

Is always worse,

Than any physical pain,

I've experienced.

But really the emotional pain,

Goes even higher,

When I do,

Cut myself.

The burden,

The pain,

The life that they hold.

I'm sorry that they,

Could not behold,

The meaning in which,

They felt that way.

Because if they hadn't,

I would be upstairs,

Cutting myself.

Every day,

I come home and call,

Then I sit down,

With a knife.

I pick it up,

And bring it down hard,

Cutting my skin.

I never thought,

It would be so hard.

The card I drew,

Just happened to be,

The last card in the deck,

Which should be me,

The one they throw away.

But thanks to friends,

And having a heart,

I stopped being the one,

To create a mark.

The scars are stuck there,

They're part of my past;

And now I live freely,

Because I have passed.

I love you so much,

And I'm sorry for the pain.

I never meant to harm you,

All the same.

I'm sorry,

That you had,

To experience this talk.

I'm sorry that I,

Couldn't take the walk.

I gladly said no,

To everything else.

But when it came to this,

I couldn't think of to resist.

I crid all alone;

I felt so tired;

I cut my wrists,

Just so I could retire,

From the pain,

That caused heartbreak.

But now I realize,

That all that sorrow,

All of that worry,

Went straight to you.

And now I cry,

And I don't want to be comforted.

I dont' deserve the sorry's,

I deserve the pain.

I'm sorry.


Submitted: March 02, 2008

© Copyright 2022 XBrokenHeartedX. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Alice Oiseau

awww. thats sad. i liked it though. i tend to be a fan of the dark and depressing stuff. it was well written. i've never cut, but my sister used to. and reading this made me think of her. its a great writing technique if u can get your reader thinking. and you've done so! wonderful job. =)

Sun, March 2nd, 2008 9:17pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much! Yeah I'm a huge fan of dark and depressing stuff, so mostly in poems I write that. Thanks so much for the comment, it means a lot:D
XxxxxBrokenxxxxX

Sun, March 2nd, 2008 8:38pm

Kinkyboots

Aw, it's hard to know who's feeling what when you're in the centre of it. Bless ya! Good job! ~ KB

Mon, March 3rd, 2008 11:39pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it:)
XxxxxBrokenxxxxX

Mon, March 3rd, 2008 7:27pm

RAWWWRRR

The emotions poured smoothly out of it . Very dar k , and ytes , veryy long , but I liked it. -rawwwrrr

Fri, March 7th, 2008 8:04am

Author
Reply

Really? I kind of thought it was clumped together. But thats why its always good to get second opinions! I'm really glad that you liked it:) Thanks for reading.
XxxxxBrokenxxxxX

Fri, March 7th, 2008 9:18am

mystory

This is so touching, it really is. I thought it was beautiful and wonderfully written. I love this kind of poetry, and I think you put a lot of emotion into it. Amazing job.

Thu, March 13th, 2008 4:00am

Author
Reply

Thanks! It's not usually my type of style, but I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks so much again:)
XxxxxBrokenxxxxX

Wed, March 12th, 2008 9:27pm

Darkness Whispers

That was very nicely written. I loved it. Depressing poems such as this really seem to have a strong meaning to them. But that is just my opinion. Well yes it was beautiful and dark, it was different than most things I've read. Nice job! :D

Fri, March 21st, 2008 3:20am

Author
Reply

Yeah that's what I usually find too, and mostly I write kind of deep and sad (depressing) poems. But I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks so much for reading:]

Thu, March 20th, 2008 11:03pm

OHSHCKaori

Nice, I really like it. Partially because I know what you're coming from because I went through it too. I'm glad you had the courage to tell your parents you were/are sorry.
~Kaori

Sat, April 5th, 2008 4:40am

Author
Reply

Thanks! I'm glad you understand. I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks so much for the wonderful comment:)

Fri, April 4th, 2008 11:15pm

hiralarious

You...are an undeniable GENIUS.
I swear, when we are older and I don't see any books or poetry by you..I will CRY. Because your poetry is truly something that makes people cry, makes them smile, it makes them feel whatever the person in the poem is feeling. You are just to good for words, really. And this poem proves it.
But if you didn't get this already from the above...this poem was...really good. (:

Fri, April 11th, 2008 7:37am

Author
Reply

-flips hair- ha ha I know:) LOL, jk. Thanks so much! I'm so excited that you enjoyed this. Usually I'm horrible at free style, but I guess it just had a bunch of emotion! I try to put in a lot of emotion, so it's good you felt it. Thanks again:D

Fri, April 11th, 2008 7:31pm

Pratibha

it brought tears in my eyes and i lost all words...i have no words...can i borrow some from u?

Tue, May 6th, 2008 8:27am

Author
Reply

HaHa I have no words to give but the words from my poem. I'm glad that you liked it, it makes me happy. Thank you so much:D

Tue, May 6th, 2008 9:21am

indiefreak

I read up your poem and you reminded me when I was depressed too. You're really good at expressing your feelings. I feel like I can connect to this poem. Really nicely done. Keep up the good work.

Thu, May 8th, 2008 10:11am

Author
Reply

Thanks. I use poetry to get out all my feelings, it's a way to put my emotions on page and get away from the real world. I'm glad that you can relate and feel those emotions. Thanks again:D

Thu, May 8th, 2008 6:37am

AllyDee

This is so well written and so sad.
I almost felt like crying.
Keep up the awesome work
=]

Fri, May 16th, 2008 9:56pm

Author
Reply

Awww thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that it got a reaction out of you. Thanks so much:)

Fri, May 16th, 2008 4:08pm

xxemoxbfsxx

at least you could tell your parents. a teacher told my student consiler who told my mom. i got in so much trouble, then i had to go to therpy. which sucked.
Lydia_xxxx

Mon, May 19th, 2008 9:04pm

Author
Reply

I'm in therapy right now because I have to use a rubber band. I told my parents after a few weeks because my friends were like telling me that it was painful for them. It hurt a lot to tell them, but yeah. Thanks so much for reading though, and being able to express what you think. I'm glad you liked it:)

Mon, May 19th, 2008 6:15pm

lexie

you know what came to my mind? NUMB by Linkin Park.
i thought it was real. and it expressed both the people who were derectly and indirectly affected by your actions.
good peice. all the best... lexie

Tue, May 20th, 2008 9:10pm

Author
Reply

I love the song entirely! It's my favorite by them, and I can understand why you would think of that song. I'm glad that you liked it, and thanks so much for the wonderful comment:)

Tue, May 20th, 2008 2:33pm

LoveCicely

That got me very emotional, really well written. It was long, but I never got bored of reading it.

I would be honored if you would read some of my poetry in return

Tue, May 27th, 2008 4:05pm

Author
Reply

Aww thanks! Yeah I tend to write long poetry, but I'm glad it didn't bore you! That's a good sign. And yeah, I'd love to check out your writing sometime!

Tue, May 27th, 2008 3:56pm

foreveryourgirl123

Absolutely remarkable poem. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. I loved the length and it seemed to have an undefined flow the whole way through. Beautifully written - missed a few spelling errors, otherwise lovely poem!!!

Sat, May 31st, 2008 6:18am

Author
Reply

Ha Ha yeah I'm a fast typer so I tend to make a few mistakes. But thank you for pointing them out! I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much, and it means a lot that you commented:) Thank you!

Sat, May 31st, 2008 7:52am

Ayame

I still cut but I try not too. It was a great poem I wrote one like it. But your a great writer good job.

Mon, June 9th, 2008 2:30am

Author
Reply

Thank you! Yeah I know what you mean about the cutting. I'm glad you liked it and thanks again:)

Mon, June 9th, 2008 6:44am

lemonluv

this is reallllyyy sad, but really good. and it was long, but in each word there was emotion. this is a job well done! =)
~Lemon

Mon, July 14th, 2008 10:04pm

Author
Reply

Ha Ha yeah sorry it was so long...lol. Thanks so much lemonluv! I'm glad that you liked it and felt the emotion:)

Mon, July 14th, 2008 10:04pm

RaisinGirl

Hey there, I have recently been through this, so I know where your coming from, to an extent, only no one told me to do it, I blame my father for most of my emotional pain, but it's up to us to control ourselves...and believe me, it really traumatizes our parents(at least my mother) when we hurt ourselves physically and intentionally...and it's good that you are saying sorry...but one thing I don't understand is that you mentioned that your friends said that you should cut, that's not friends....then later you said 'thanks to my friends, and having a heart...I stopped being the one to make a mark'...I am a bit confused-I hope they were the good friends that helped you to stop....anyway, I never had a habit, but I don't feel as ashamed to admit that I have tried it a couple of times in my life, when the physical and emotional pain seems like too much-I thought I should lighten up some of my poems, because I tend to be extremely dark and I am chronically depressed, but sometimes visiting a new environment helps you, like recently I got out of town, and forced myself to go through the motions, almost suppressing my pain inside for the sake of the people I was visiting(my bff and her family)....now I am back in town, and welcomed back to my depression, but I still came back with a bit of a newfound glory or inspiration to believe that someday things will get better....I hope I have not said too much....please feel free to talk to me anytime you wish, because I understand..:D

Tue, July 15th, 2008 7:31am

Author
Reply

Wow, thank you so much:) I do also blame most of my emotional pain from my parents, and it was really hard for my mom. She's scared all of the time, and she barely trusts me anymore. She told me that she was sorry she didn't realize it sooner. Ok so I probably messed up about the friend thing. A couple of my friends cut, but they never told me to. I got the idea by seeing them and that they did it because of their emotional pain. They were different friends that told me to stop though. So sorry for the confusion! Ha Ha it was an old poem....Yeah a few people said that I should try to write different types of poems, instead of sticking with the darkness and depression of my everyday life. Well I can't really get away out of here, ha ha, but when I need to, I tend to take walks in the park by my house which does liven my mood. Same with just being with my friends. I try to write lively poems, but I can't think of anything good to write about...But thank you so much again for your wonderful comment! It's so nice to know that I have somebody to talk to. And I enjoy long comments:) HA Ha.

Tue, July 15th, 2008 7:27am

Chello

this reminds me of my sister who also used to cut herself that brought pains in the family. but through it all we have surpassed that stage and now she has starting her own family too and i know her past experience had made her strong and be a good mother someday. realization is really needed and i think it will make you mature in your decisions and help you to be a responsible being. great poem! c",)

Tue, July 15th, 2008 2:17pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! I hope that too. And I have feeling that emotional crisis's like these do make you stronger, and a better parent all in all. Thanks so much for reading and commenting, and I'm glad that you enjoyed it:D

Tue, July 15th, 2008 7:30am

Truthdefiesreason

I can tell the deep thought and feeling you put into your writing. AMAZING

Tue, July 15th, 2008 2:28pm

Author
Reply

Aww thanks so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it, and felt the deep emotions:)

Tue, July 15th, 2008 7:31am

xxxSrushtixxx

Oh Gosh! It's beautiful hunni! I loved it.. The emotion and pain in each word could be felt.. I so understand what you went through.. But my dad had fallen really ill and that's when I got depressed and cut myself.. Bad phase bad phase.. Now I'm over it but I still understand every word and the pain hidden in it.. Love it.. Yeah, I LOVE dark stuff so this does rock my socks =)
I'd be obliged if you checked my stuff out too.. It's of the same genre so you'd definitely find similarity..

Much love,
Srushti.
xx

Wed, July 16th, 2008 10:07am

Author
Reply

I'm sorry about your dad...but yeah all that pain just really comes swarming at you huh? Ha Ha I usually write dark stuff, but I need to stop, lol. Everyone tells me I should try some different genres of poetry. But I'd love to check out your stuff! I hope to find the time soon:) Thanks so much Srushti, I'm glad that you enjoyed it:D

Wed, July 16th, 2008 3:52pm

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