Love, Cancer & Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 2 (v.1)

Submitted: July 03, 2013

Reads: 32

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Submitted: July 03, 2013

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Dear Diary August 28th, 2012

 

I threw my sheets off my bed,  and stood up slowly remembering all those mornings I could hardly get out of bed. The sun that was coming in my bedroom window felt warm compared to my cold body and I wrapped myself in a blanket. There was noise coming from downstairs probably from the TV. I never knew why Matt liked to get up early at the brink of dawn right when the sun came up. I stood in front of the mirror staring at my reflection. My shoulder length hair fell in curls and it looked almost white in the sunlight. My eyes looked a light green that matched my mothers, but in every other way I looked like my father.

I never got to meet him, he left before I was born but Matt tells me he wasn't someone worth meeting. I think my Mom misses him though, she still loves the man even though he left her. Is it a bad think to say I'm scared of the day I finally fall in love?

There was a knock on my door and then it creaked open. "Hey I heard you were up. You feeling ok?" Matt asked me that every morning. I don't think there will some a day when he stops fearing that my cancer will come back. He handed me a bagel and I knew I had to eat it even though I wasn't hungry. Me not sing hungry would worry Matt and he would say it was a sign. Although I knew it was just nervousness about my junior year. "Earth to Darcy!" He called out and I snapped out of my trance.

"Just dandy." I said joyfully and brushed past him walking into the bathroom that was between our rooms.

"The guys are coming over soon and Mom left early she took an extra shift because she's taking the day off tomorrow to go to your doctors appointment." Due to all the medical bills, house payments and taxes my Mom has three jobs. We tried to help and get jobs ourselves but when I got sicker I had to quit and Matt would have to be home to take care of me. Matt and I told her we could move to a smaller house but her answer was always, 'no there are too many memories here.'

"Alright." I feared my doctors appointment. Sometimes I wished I could just leave everything unknown and be a normal teenager like everyone else and not have to worry.

"Yo Matt, and De, we got a new friend." Tristan was Matt's friend and Matt's friends were always my friends. Tristan had called me De ever since I could remember he was like a brother to me.

I went in my closet and found some short jean shorts to go along with my baggy grey sweater. The boys wouldn't care how I dressed or if I had makeup on. They saw me as one of the guys or Matt's little sister not a 17 year old woman. I went into the room across the hall and sat down at the piano.

 

I opened the fallboard and ran my nimble fingers across the keys. I remembered every song I've ever played, along with Matt it seemed like the only thing that kept me alive. Music kept me alive and it gave me hope, a sense of hope I got from nothing else. I played a sequence of chords and I began to sing.

 

Skinny Love was a song I could relate to, because all I wanted to do was last the year and if I died I wanted to be remembered. My voice quivered and I stopped and stared down at the keys watching a tear fall onto the black and seep into the wood. "You're very good, Darcy." I looked behind me and found a boy standing there watching me carefully.

 

His brown hair looked like it hung perfectly and he had big blue eyes that sparkled when they caught the light. "I'm Nathan."  I walked past him, not once before had let a boy other than Matt see me cry and I wasn't about to.

 

"Nathan- Darc are you alright?" Tristan got cut off when he saw my tear stained cheeks, and he looked to Nathan suspiciously like he had done something wrong. I gave Tristan a glare and he immediately shut himself up. "Uh- Never mind." Tristan grabbed my hand and pulled me into the nearest room which happened to Matt's. "What's wrong? Is it-?" I cut him off quickly.

 

"No. I was playing the piano and he walked in on me." Tristan nodded, knowing how playing the piano in front of people made me feel and how my emotions usually got the best of me. I could never control them, my emotions or feelings.

 

"Well I'm going to join the guys. Are you sure you're alright?" I forced myself to smile and I walked down the stairs with him.

 

 


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