I Never Gave a Damn About the Weather.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Historical Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

A Grandfather tells his Grand Daughter, about his life in a Nazi Training camp. ~Warming, is a little violent at parts~

Chapter 1 (v.1) - I Never Gave a Damn About the Weather.

Submitted: July 09, 2010

Reads: 376

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 09, 2010



I Never Gave a Damn About the Weather.

~Title by Lucas . Story by Matty ~

“Grandpa John, you said you were once a soldier, what kind of soldier?” Julie smiled and climbed onto my lap. Julies smiled up at me with eyes of wonder, Ipatted her head and smiled, putting my arm around her small waist.

Well Julie, I was a Hitler Youth, did you learn what that is in history class? Julie shook her head, I will tell you my story, on how I became one, and how I found my first love, and how I lost her… all too soon.

Young eight year old Julie smiled and held her teddy bear close to her, “I’m ready for a story Grandpa John!”


I once new a girl, a woman she was; my friend, my lover, my only friend that I trusted while I was there. “You cry, you die…” not a risk anyone was willing to take. We were in this camp for six years since the age of fourteen… Every day, tormented, told what was right from wrong… I never knew the way of life…

Anna was my life. Every day in the camp, she and I would always try and escape from everyone else, we would try to listen to our generals—we spoke the same language, German; we were terrified of what would happen if we didn’t listen, horrified of what would happen if we disobeyed their orders. Out of everything that happened there, I will never forget the day… Anna slipped away from me.

My Father brought me to this camp February 14, 1935. I remember him standing beside me, his left hand on my right shoulder—a stern look upon his face he told the man at the desk my name. My Mother and younger sister, Madeline, were in the vehicle; my Mother and sister were crying, my Mother was sobbing the loudest. I was told before I left, that if I come here, I may not make it back; I suppose that was why my Mother was crying. I was handed two sets of uniforms, two pairs of socks, one pair of black shoes, and two patches by the man; I shook his hand, and my Father turned me to him. My Father handed me a knife, and whispered in my ear,

“Never forget, no matter what, if you find the one you love, that is all that matters, defend them with your life.” I looked down at the knife, my name Leonardo A. Matthews was written on the side of the blade; I looked up at my Father who gave me a sort of half smile, turned, and walked back to the vehicle.


“But Grandpa John, I thought your name was John A. Wolf not Leonardo A. Matthews?”

Do you want me to finish the story or not young one? I will answer all your questions at the end, now please silence.


My Father started the engine and my Mother yelled back at me as they started to pull away, motherly things such as, “Goodbye!” and “Be Safe!” Yes, those sorts of things. Before I knew it, I was there, knife in one hand, name ID in the other, bags next to me on the dirt road, dark brown hair tucked away under my Grandfathers hat, and uniform tucked under my arm….I was alone standing at the gates of what appeared to me; like Hell.

~Moments Later~

The guards let me in the gates, I turned and looked back at the gates that had just closed behind me—I knew I was not leaving for quite some time. I put my knife into my pocket, picked up my bags, and slowly walked deeper and deeper down a dark, wide, cobblestone path; looking and watching wearily in case someone wanted to ask me something. I guess the first days of camp weren’t that bad, mostly because people were still getting settled in our cabins and such. I noticed that the guards were deployed so that the children could not escape this camp. As I was walking, still dragging my bags on the path behind me, I noticed the guards never smiled, or moved. They stood at every inch of the camp, making sure that anyone who left would be destroyed. I saw this symbol, it was placed all over the camp; I saw it on TV once. It was the symbol of some man, Hitler; yes, Adolf Hitler, it was his symbol.

At last, I reached my destination, the guard opened the door and helped me with my things inside, he saw the patch with my clothes and said, “Now see here boy, that swastika is meant to be warn at all times when you have the uniform on, understand?” I nodded, he took my bags from me and placed them inside the closet of my cabin, then he smiled, turned, and walked out of my cabin.

Once I had placed my things down, and dressed myself in the uniform (including the patch), I decided to wonder around a bit. As I was wondering, I found one thing in common with all the children at this time. The other children were stand 5x6 children, and had their right arms raised and were saying a chant, facing a picture of Adolf Hitler himself. They kept saying “Hail Hitler” I walked past the boys and girls, a young girl left her group and walked up to me curiously,

“Why aren’t you praising Mister Hitler?” she asked, her sweet blue eyes looked up into my deep brown eyes, “Wow no answer huh? Come on then!” she took my hand and pulled me over to her group. I lifted my arm, and pretended like I was part of the group. The girl leaned into me and whispered,

“My name is Anna, it’s nice to meet you. “She starred up at the picture of Hitler repeating the chant I leaned in and told her my name was Leonardo—I watched as a small but subtle smile crawled onto her face. Within I say, a good, fifteen minutes, I knew the chant; I didn’t care what it was about, but I knew well… it made sense. The guards released us children to have the rest of the day to our selves.

“This is a Hitler Youth camp,” Anna smiled, “The boys here are trained how to be soldiers for the armor to defend Germany. In a month you will have your first target practice, in about six weeks you will have your first shooting game. I have watched the older boys and girls do theirs, they look very… scary…” Her voice became course. The next part of our conversation I can’t forget; I asked her who or what we use as targets during target practice, she pointed off in the distance to the black smoke rising from behind the trees, “My Pa runs this camp…. He said the targets are Jews… from the work camp. The Jews are evil, they are the reason we lost the Great War, they are the reason we failed.” She stared out the window, her eyes filled with hatred as if she was staring at a Jew this moment. “Jews are the enemy, kill the enemy.” I wanted to hit her and run, she was terrifying me; more than any one girl had terrified a boy. Anna smiled and looked at my ID poking out of my pocket, “Well, it appears we are in the same bracket, I will see you soon then Leonardo,” Anna smiles and walked out and skipped towards the girls cabins. I had a deep feeling in my gut, that this place, was going to be Hell.

~Two Weeks Later~

The date was February 28, 1935, I remember waking up one morning to find Annas’ cute blonde haired, blue eyed face right up against mine, “Rise and Shine!” she said, “Time to get dressed for class.” Anna seemed excited, I was a bit frightened. I lazily sat up, and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I got off my bed and dragged my feet over to my closet; I turned my back to Anna and took off my shirt. I turned back to her, and looked at her, while I stood before her shirtless. I watched Annas’ face go from adorably pale, to bright fuchsia. She hopped off my bed and left my cabin. I continued to change I caught her eyes looking through my window; I didn’t mind. I changed my pants, tied my shoes, then added the patch to my arm; I walked out to find Anna sitting on the step of my Cabin waiting for me.

Anna and I walked to our class, shoulder by shoulder, nodding politely to every guard and general we passed on the way. After walking, what felt like miles and miles of cobblestone path, we arrived at our class. Lifted our arm and said “Hail Hitler” the teacher returned the notion and told us to take our seats. The teacher, Mister Smith, told us that this is what is really going on in the camps, and this is what is right, he turned off the lights and turned on the projector; an image appeared on the screen of a building with train tracks coming out of it, below was the title that said, “Jewish Camp, Auschwitz 1.” We watched as a boy and his father appeared on the screen, we watched as the boy and the father had all their items taken from them. The boy was taken alone to this group of boys, the father stood in a line with the other men. The soldier walked behind the men, and at random shot one by one in the back of the head—the men would fall to the ground bleeding to death, and shortly dead. The boy was taken to a room where all the boys were given these pajamas and then told to work. The boys worked and worked until they all died. Mister Smith turned off the projector and turned on the lights.

“This is what Hitler has done, he wishes to rid the entire world of this horrid vermin once and for all. Repeat after me, Jews are the enemy, we must kill the enemy. And praise our great furer!” We repeated this for ten minutes; before I knew it, I believed what I said. I had become a monster; a Jew killing monster. Another saying we learned to memorize was, 'Wir loben Hitler, er ist unser Herrscher ist er erstaunlich ist. Wir lieben Hitler. Er wird unser Land zu Größe führen. Für immer wird Deutschland live! Heil Hitler!' Which translated too, 'We praise Hitler, he is our ruler he is amazing. We love Hitler. He will lead our country to greatness. For ever shall Germany live! Hail Hitler!', yes it was German. A Soldier walked in and did the usual “Hail Hitler,” then looked at the class. “Boys this soldier is here to speak to you.” Mister Smith stepped to the side, and the soldier started to speak.

“Boys, in two weeks time, you will be having target practice. Be ready, the targets will arrive and have been told to be ready for target practice. That is all,” The man nodded politely and walked out of the room; the bell rang, I grabbed my books and ran out of the class room, Anna ran up behind me.

We walked almost half way to our cabin when we saw a fight break out, I gave Anna my books and ran straight into the fight. Before I knew it I was pinned down on the ground by a boy; people were chanting, “Tom, Tom, Tom!” Tom pulled out a knife and cut my arm deeply, luckily I was able to kick him off, by the time a guard came to break up the fight. Once the guard had left, Anna ran to me and helped me up, and walked with me back to my room. She closed the door behind us, and took off my shirt; her eyes widened looking at the cut.

“Oh my God!” Anna quickly tore a strip of my sheet, poured some of my water over the wound to clean it a bit and pressed a piece of the sheet to it, I flinched in pain, “Shh…Shh… It will be okay…” she would say every I flinched. I watched her wrap the wound in the sheet. “There,” she smiled, “That should hold you for now.” She smiled and handed me the new uniform. “It’s late, but I can’t leave, “ she peered out my windows, “There are guards everywhere.” Anna sighed and I gently took her hand in mine. She turned her blue eyes to me and in a soft whisper I told her that she could sleep here with me and that my cabin mate, John was already asleep—which he was, John could sleep through anything. I sat up and pulled open the covers for her. Anna took off her cute, black shoes, and climbed into bed next to me; I wrapped my arms around her, and folded the covers over us. “Thank you,” Anna whispered as she fell asleep. I whispered, “You’re welcome, “and fell asleep.


Julie , my darling, I would never tell Anna that I liked her, maybe even loved her! I would never tell her that she set my heart a blaze, and that she was the only reason I got up in the morning.

“Oh Grandpa I bet she loved you a ton! She wouldn’t have agreed to stay in your cabin with you if she didn’t love you right!?”

Well, yes Julie but-

“So did you tell her Grandpa!? Did you tell her how you felt!?” Julie looked up at me bright hazel eyes,

You know the saying, “If you don’t tell them, you could lose them?” I told her how I felt, Julie… but I didn’t know, that I would never get the chance to show her... Now on with my story.

~One Week Later~

The date was March 6, 1935. I had woken up to find Anna still asleep in my arms, I gently slipped out from under, and by accident I fell onto the floor. I looked up at my window and saw the final snow of the winter on the ground. I got dressed then nudged Annas’ shoulder—she awoke quickly. Anna sat up and tied her shoes, and blushed realizing that she had slept in my cabin; she tied her hair up in a pony tail and we scurried off to our class. There was a line of boys, which I joined, and Anna ran to sit on the bench with the girls. The guard walked down the line, handing each of us a rifle.

A whistle blew, and we watched as about fifty men and or boys where grey and white stripped pajamas, walked out in front of us. They looked dirty, dourer, tentative, and scared. Each one of them stood about ten yards in front of us, we held up our rifles so that we could see them through the eye glass—the pop gun went off and it became a massacre. People were running, and guns were going off, blood was falling onto the fresh March snow. In less than fifteen minutes, half of the bodies were bloody, lifeless, and gone. I glanced over at Anna, to see her face pale, hiding her face behind her hands, avoiding looking at the blood at all costs—I couldn’t blame her. I looked through my eye glass, to see a boy, my rifle targeted right at him, I pulled the trigger, and watched his eyes go from normal and brown, to wide open as the bullet pierced his throat; he dropped to the ground. We all breathed deeply after we all shot the remainder of the, “Targets,” the general smiled and spoke handsomely,

“You boys did well, those Jews needed that.” I looked at all the lifeless carcasses and sighed, one girl had begun to cry. The soldiers quickly grabbed her and dragged her away behind a building, the girl kicking and screaming. We heard three gun shots, and the crying stopped. We sat silent; Anna sat quietly struggling not to cry. The guards dismissed us to go back to our cabins for the day. Anna and I sprinted back to my cabin, once inside, Anna buried her pale face into my chest, wrapped her arms around my waist, and cried, Iquickly closed the door behind us and locked it.

“She was my best friend,” she wept, I closed my eyes and allowed her tears to seep through my shirt, I wrapped my arms around her, one hand behind her head, and let her cry. I held her close, and listened to her cry, I felt miserable for having her lose her friend like that—I couldn’t dare imagine it. After a few moments her crying stopped; now it was just a few sniffles here and there. I wiped her tears, and she looked up at me, a small gentle smile on her face, she whispered, “I love you…” I brushed her long, blonde hair out from her face and smiled looking into her eyes, “I love you too…” she looked up at me and sighed, I knew she had to go, she pressed her lips to my cheek, grabbed her book bag, and quickly ran off to her cabin. I took off my shirt, and my pants, so that all that remained were my under garments, and I fell back onto my bed.


That was the first time I truly felt love, Julie that was the first time I knew who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

“Wow Grandpa, that must have been amazing, to feel love! I wish the boy I love could know how I am feeling.” Julie smiled,

Well Julie, maybe one day, he will. You just have to show him, by little things, like flowers or a simple smile.

“Grandpa! Don’t be silly, Johnny will never find out, because my friends say he likes me! So, I’m just waiting for him to tell me!” Julie giggled and her face blushed, she looked just like Anna when she would blush.

Well Anna, I mean Julie… just wait for the right moment.

~Six Years Later~

The year was 1941, it was about May, Iam now twenty years old, Anna is seventeen, Iwas now six foot two, strong, muscular, Anna was five foot six, and the most beautiful woman Ihave ever seen. I arose to the sound of gun shots and screaming girls. I got dressed as soon as I could and ran outside to find two boys dead—shot to death, their blood staining the gravel. I noticed the other boys were standing in Attention, I quickly joined them. My friend and cabin mate, John, leaned over and whispered softly,

"Those boys were Jews, accordin’ to the cap’in they snuck in.” I just stood there silently looking down at the boys, they uniforms stained with blood. I couldn’t understand how they had snuck in—I know their families will not be alive much long. The longer I stared at the boys bodies, I couldn’t help to feel hatred—but this hatred slowly grew. The guards dug a hole, about twenty yards from my cabin. They threw the two dead boys into the hole, spit on it once or twice, and then filled it with dirt.

Anna ran and jumped up behind me, to be honest it gave me quite the scare. When she saw my face she was shocked, “I..I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you! But I was trying to cheer you up, because you looked so sad, after seeing the boys—so I thought I would cheer you up.” I looked down into her eyes, and smiled, she was forgiven.

I had already been at this camp for a good six years—and I was still home sick. I missed my warm bed, fresh clothes every day, my Mother’s fresh, hot breakfast, my sister breaking my toys; I missed it all. I would lie on my bed for hours reminiscing the old memories of home, I’m not the only one; John would do the same.

“Do you reccon’ we will be having letters from home anytime soon?” John would ask, every time we thought of home. My answer was always, no. John was a boy, who came from Southern Germany, from the farms. He was blonde, and freckled.


“Grandpa he sounds like my John! ‘Cept, my John has brown hair, and grey eyes, and no freckles and-“

You can’t continue to interrupt my stories. You won’t ever get to the fun part.

“I know Grandpa but you never finished telling me what John looked like, and you certainly never told me what Anna looked like; I wanna know!” she smiled brightly. Ismiled and continued speaking.


John was a boy, about twenty, we had the same birthday, but he was taller than me, and a lot more quieter than me. Anna, was a small little thing, well she was my chest level, as mentioned before, and had long, wonderful blonde hair, the eyes that sparkled like stars, and were the color of the day time sky—she was my dream.

To make my home sickness much worse, I had forgotten that I would have to fight that boy, Smith, in a month or so. He was a giant kid, both wide, and tall, he scared me. Each time I thought of this boy, I would go pale. Anna would tease me, and say I looked like a little ghost; she adored teasing me, and I adored getting her back, it was our past time.

In the next month to follow, pain and blood was all this place was. In this time, thirteen boys died—either by refusing orders, or by crying, only seven girls died mainly by crying. Now they made it, so we would have to kill them, the people who cried or refused orders. I shot John, and Markus, to boys I was friends with from my class—John was my cabin mate. Anna had too shoot a girl from her class, not her cabin mate, that was Sarah, the girl who died by crying a year back.

Classes got worse, every day I sat taking notes, pledging my loyalty, learning who the enemy was, learning to fight, learning right from wrong. I would day dream about me and Anna escaping from this horrid place, and leaving to go start a family or a life of our own. I thought it was a great idea—I decided I would tell her, after the one-on-one fights. That would be in about two months; but I swear I will tell her.

Anna I got some alone time, and I told her how I felt; my feelings towards her. Now every time I smile at her, look at her, walk with her, she would turn the cutest pink color. It was like an adorable blush that I longed for every day. I wrapped my arms around her later today, and I asked her to be mine, and she said yes—bringing joy to my heart. I pray these memories with her will last forever.

~Two Months Later~

The date is July 9, 1941. Today had finally come, the day I would fight that gargantuan boy, Smith, in the one-on-one fights. Anna grabbed my hand, and pulled me to the “Arena,” thought I was shocked, the “Arena,” was nothing more, then a wide field, with electric fences around it, and one set of benches so that we could watch each match. We were split into boys, and girls. Anna ran to join the girls and was given a rifle, I was as well, but I joined the boys. We all knew who our opponents were, whoever didn’t have a rifle, got a knife; the logic of this, I never understood. They called pairs up one at a time, and no matter what weapon you had, someone died. Some people were shot to death, others stabbed in the neck or heart. It was one bloody thing to watch; to make matters worse, they left the dead ones in there, so it was full of bloody, dead people.

I looked over at Anna, who was shaking, holding her rifle tightly. I felt bad for her, because she looked scared; and second, the girls had to fight in their skirts, and their knee socks, which I bet made fighting difficult. This one pair, got really bloody, this boy shot his opponent to death, then took his knife and stabbed the boy over, and over, and over again. Then carved his name into the boys forehead, they shot him in the chest over and over; then just to prove his point, he took the knife and put it in both of the boys eyes, and twisted it until boy eye sockets were just empty wholes. I bet that boy, was just showing off for his father; who was a guard that watched over us. Just to finish him off, the boy shoved the knife into his opponents nose, and walked off—he was cheered on. I looked at the body and gulped, “My life…is over.”

My fight was over, a bit too quickly. We entered the arena and I help my rifle tight, the whistle blew and Smith ran to me, like a giant beast, knife clutched in his hand. I walked to the side to avoid the boy. Then I held my gun aimed at him and pulled the trigger, at least three times. Smith stumbled and fell to the ground; I was surprised that I hadn’t been hurt, so this fight was easier for me then I thought. I looked at the boy petrified and shot him once more to make sure he was dead. His body quickly leaked blood and stained the gravel. I looked at Anna, it was her turn next. I walked out of the arena and went to sit among the boys. I was congratulated, but Anna was hiding her face, trying not to look at the bloody scene.

It was Annas’ turn now, I looked at her and sighed, she was walking into the arena shaking, holding her gun tightly. Once the whistle blew, the other girl, Katharine had tackled Anna and stabbed the knife deeply into her leg; Anna was screaming in pain, and grabbed her rifle and shot Katharine in the arm to get her away, she jerked the knife from her leg and let out a scream—trying to shoot Katharine again. One boy leaned over and looked at me,

“Hey that girl, Anna, she is your girl right?” I nodded, “Boy, that would be a shame if she died. Katharine was John’s girl, maybe she is trying to avenge him by killing your girl as pay back.” I watched the fight nervously, watching both girls wrestle and fight; Katharine stabbed her knife deeply into Anna and smiled, luckily Anna was able to shoot Katherine a few times and kill her. Anna was crowned winner, she struggled to move. She weakly limped over to the set of chairs. I ran over to her to help her, the guards said we could take her to the nurse. So I picked her up and took her to the nurses quarry. The nurse undressed her, and cleaned her wounds; I knelt beside Anna and held her hand in mine gently, to keep her company. Here and there, Anna moaned from the pain when the nurse began to stitch her up.

“I take it she a good friend of yours?” I nodded and looked at her, as the nurse pulled the covers over Anna, “Just let her rest, she should be fine in the morning. If I’m correct, her father owns this place? She is a strong girl then.” The nurse smiled and walked away. I kissed Annas’ forehead, and walked to my cabin and fell asleep, I failed to sleep, hoping that she would be okay.


“Wow Grandpa, that was so intense! Did she live?” I smiled and nodded.

Yes Julie, she did live, now let me finish, we are almost done.

“Okay Grandpa!” she smiled.

~Two Weeks Later~

The date was July 23 1941. After class today, me and Anna walked back to my cabin, and I helped her lay down on my bed—her wounds have still not fully healed yet from that fight.

“M…my father was proud of me for winning that fight,” she smiled, “I have never been able to make him happy, so I was thrilled that I did.” I smiled and looked at her; and took her hand in mine. I told her that we could escape, and we could start a family, and live in a house, with a pet, and maybe have children. Annas’ face went from blushing, to a subtle smile, “Leonardo, I can’t leave. My father is head of this camp; he found out we left, he would hunt you and I down, and kill us.” I held her hand tighter, and sat by her feet on my bed. Anna tried to sit up, but her attempts were shot down by pain, and moans; I put my hand gently on her shoulder and helped her lay down, I brushed her blonde hair from your eyes and smiled, then kissed her forehead. She mouthed the words, “Thank you.” and relaxed.

We both knew this escape would be hard, but we would have too, especially if we wanted to live free, and happily. I looked through the book of camp rules, that we had received when we got to the camp. The rule was, if you tried to escape, you were punished by death ; I told Anna this, and she began to cry. If we both knew it was punished by death, we probably wouldn’t had even thought of it—but it’s what we need to do. I smiled at her, and leaned into her close, her face filled with pink, I closed my eyes and kissed her, on the lips.


“Woah woah! Grandpa you kissed her! John won’t even let me hug him!”

A kiss his how you show someone you love them Julie, you should try it. Anna ws the first, and last girl I ever kissed, ever since her I swore to never kiss a girl or a woman again.

"But why Grandpa? I don't understand...."

ssssshhh... Let me tell the story.


When our lips parted, she was as red s a cherry; she was a cute cherry, but a cherry nonetheless. Anna closed her eyes and relaxed, “I can’t wait until we can leave this wretched place.” I couldn’t wait either, she was the love of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way to be with her forever. I closed the curtain and laid down beside Anna on my bed, and closed my eyes.

This escape would change our lives. We would need to change our names, move far away; If our parents knew about this, none of us would have a great time. I didn’t care about possibly losing my life, if it meant being with her forever, then I would do anything. I had longingly wished my life and Annas had not been corrupted by Hitlers reign. I just wanted my life to be happy, like back when I was a kid. Care free worlds, where nothing mattered—why can’t it be like that now?


“Wow Grandpa, so what happened next?! Did you guys do it!? Did you guys escape?” Julie smiled.

Let me finish the story please, I am so close to answering your questions.

~Three months Later~

Today is October 23 1941, the day we are going to escape. Anna and I packed all of our belongings into one single bag, and I flung it over my shoulder. I took Annas hand in mine, and we walked out of the cabin; we turned and looked back at it for the final time. I thought to myself, “If only one of us dies, let it be me, to protect her.” We walked passed Annas fathers’ office, and she looked in the window and whispered, “I’m sorry daddy,” I looked at her and said we needed to go, I grabbed her, and pulled her close to me; after a few minutes, I let go, and continued holding her hand. We continued to walk over to our secret spot, where we would make our escape. I began to climb the fence, in a short time, guards had surrounded us, and so had Annas father. I climbed down and got in front of Anna.

Anna was sobbing and crying when she saw it was her father. Her father was yelling at her, calling her a disgrace, and saying that he couldn’t believe she was his daughter. The guards aimed their guns at us, I told them to stop. I explained to her father that it was my fault and that you should spare her life. I turned back and smiled at Anna who was crying horribly. General Lewis, Annas father, grabbed a rifle from one guard, and aimed it at me, his finger on the trigger. Anna and I stood there, watching General Lewis shaking, trying not to breath. General Lewis pulled the trigger, from then on, it was like it was all a dream; that I wouldn’t wake up from. Anna pushed me out of the way, we heard three gun shots, they all went into Anna. One into her chest, one into her arm, and one into her stomach—she fell limp to the ground, her breath unsteady; she fighting to stay alive.

I crawled to her, and held her in my arms, for the final time, her eyes barely open, her cheeks no longer pink; she was almost gone. I tried to shake her, kept asking if she was there, but only last words I could hear from her lips were, “I love you..” then… nothing. It was silent. Her breath ceased, her eyes closed, her body motionless. I laid her down, buried my face into her chest, and cried. I didn’t care that blood was getting on my clothes or anything, none of that mattered to me. All that I cared about was that, the one I loved—was gone. I got a flower, and laid it on Annas stomach, and put her hands over it; I looked down at her and cried, then I kissed her soft lips once more, and I got my things and attempted to escape once more. This time, I was successful. I ran, and ran, and ran far away, until I was some place safe. That is how I was able to write this journal entry.

I am grateful that I got out of there, even more grateful that I never have to go back. I lost Anna but I will now live on my dreams that I wish I could have shared with her. A boy, at the age of fourteen, back in 1935, was now twenty years of age, leaving this place. I found my love, and I lost her, far too quickly for my likings. I will write back when I find my new home.


“I can’t believe she died! She was the love of your life right!??! So tell me Grandpa what happened next?” I smiled,

That’s it Julie. From there, I got a train to France, changed my name to John Annabel Wolf, and from there, rode to Spain, from Spain I got on a boat, and sailed to America, and now this is my home. This is where I live. You don’t have a Grandmother. Because after I lost Anna, I vowed to never love another woman. Your Father was adopted, Julie, just to make my life slightly easier.

“Oh daddy never told me that Grandpa!”

But Julie you want to know something? No matter how long I was there, no matter who I was with, no matter who I killed, no matter who suffered, no matter who I loved—I never gave a damn about the weather.


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