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Topic: Critiquing

If you're looking to have your work critiqued, give some information about it here, including the genre (if it has one), a synopsis, and what problems you specifically want to have looked at. Post a link to your work at the end of it.
Note that critiques are more indepth than reviews. They look at setting, plot, characters on a finer level than a review, which comments, mainly, on the overall work. Critiques should focus on language use in addition to how the story works as a whole.
A critique is a critical assessment, whereas a review is a formal evaluation. In a critique, focus on what is strong and weak, and not specifically what you like or dislike. Note where the writing can be improved, or where it was effective.
It's useless to say, "I like this" because writers are looking for ways to improve. They want to know why, not that you do (at least not for a critique).

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Re: Critiquing

I want someone to critique my book in the link so I can make it better.

https://www.booksie.com/524325-the-adve … a-the-mage

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Re: Critiquing

creeperarmy100 wrote:

I want someone to critique my book in the link so I can make it better.

https://www.booksie.com/524325-the-adve … a-the-mage

Do you have anything specific you want anyone to look at? Are you more focused on character? Story? Flow? Is grammar a problem you want to be a big focus, or would you rather people ignore that for the previously mentioned elements?

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Re: Critiquing

dsquala wrote:
creeperarmy100 wrote:

I want someone to critique my book in the link so I can make it better.

https://www.booksie.com/524325-the-adve … a-the-mage

Do you have anything specific you want anyone to look at? Are you more focused on character? Story? Flow? Is grammar a problem you want to be a big focus, or would you rather people ignore that for the previously mentioned elements?

Any.

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Re: Critiquing

I'm currently rewriting my story to make it have more emotional impact. I wonder if anybody is interested in me pm-ing the new versions, so they could criticise on primarily emotional impact, description and flow.

The story is IGSFA's hero. It's a fantasy with, I guess, traces of romance. It's set in another world with Earthly technology (year 1050 is approx now) and where everyone has elemental magic. The book is majorly centred around the royal family of Fire

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Re: Critiquing

I know there are two links here, but I need some feedback on at least one of the linked stories. Both stories are science fiction.

The things I want looked at are:
1.) Is it engaging? If not, how can I make it more interesting?
2.) Does it make sense? If not, what can I do to make everything more consistent?
3.) How can I better develop the story? I am aiming for at least twenty-seven chapters and I need to figure out where I can put more information in at without it becoming just filler information.

I don't expect anyone to read both stories linked below, and I will be satisfied if only one chapter out of one story gets reviewed or critiqued. The top story is darker and deals with more mature themes, and the bottom story is lighter and is perhaps more true to the typical science fiction genre story.

https://www.booksie.com/574731-dark-dweller
A dark room. A questionable job. Inside the room there exists an aggressive cyborg that cannot be trusted. What happens when a being isolated from the world is finally given a chance?

https://www.booksie.com/578567-light-walker
The sequel to "Dark Dweller." Aiden (formerly Arden) has been released from a shady operation and has moved in with a new owner. One day the new owner wishes to explore the world, and Aiden comes with her. Will the trip be worthwhile, or will it be a fatal mistake?