Topic: constructive criticism

Hi writing light novel, I do not care if people are good at editing stuff; I need to get ideas about how to improve the story.
I am writing a Japanese fiction light novel so you write them in the present tense unless you are talking about the past. So if you read it and wish to give advice please remember that part//// thank you for your time
https://www.booksie.com/602445-gaia-las … e-ancients
If you have something you like someone to read let me know. i would love to help, i enjoy syfy and Fantasy one of my fav. Authors is Anne McCaffrey best known for her science fiction works, including the Dragonriders of Pern series.. her books got me into reading picked up Moreta in 1983 i was 16 years old and did not stop reading syfy fantasy ever sense.