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Reads: 12949

Comments: 11

Likes: 12

Shelves: 3

Sometimes going back is the best worst thing you can do. Read More

Featured Review by Bobi Leutschaft Poitras

"Amazing and beautiful! Wow!!!" Read More

Reads: 151

Comments: 8

Shelves: 1

Yeah I don know what this is either so don't even ask. Good luck understanding an of it (it's not smart, just literal nonsense) Read

Reads: 194

Comments: 1

# 1) How do you say you seen the Jigsaw movies? I saw Saw. # 2) I'm gonna become a robber. And when I break into a house. I'll take what I want. And for my calling card. I'll take a puzzle piece. # 3) People hate it when I… Read

Reads: 149

Comments: 1

# 1) Why don't women like dating magicians? Cause they disappear too quickly. # 2) A magician pulled a quarter out of my ear. I said, "Nice trick, I could do one too. I could pull a rabbit out of your ass." # 3) I met a bad magician. He… Read
# 1) If Pinhead and his friends had a bad day. Do they say, "Man this ceno-bites." # 2) "Could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurance? Can Pinhead relieve your pain? Read
# 1) I was swimming, I went under the water then came back up and got worried. Cause I couldn't find my boat. So I said, "Oh my God...oh my God. I'm lost in the open water." Then I heard a voice behind me say. "The boats over here, sir."… Read

Reads: 125

# 1) What's one thing you don't say to a woman in bed? Thanks. # 2) Testing...testing. Is this microphone on. Hello...hello. (Farting noise) Yep, it's working great. # 3) A woman asked, "How long can you last?" I said, "Until I need to breathe." # 4) Someone said, "Hello,… Read
# 1) What doesn't The Internet Comedian have? Talent. # 2) Are twins just a person that's cloned? # 3) It's adorable when a little girl says. "I'm a Princess." Its creepy when I say I'm a Princess. # 4) Who's jokes cross the line all the time? The Internet… Read
# 1) I wouldn't want to date an artist. They're sketchy. # 2) I work as a police officer. And there was an accident. My partner told me to call for back up. I asked, "What's the number for 911?" # 3) What job is perfect for a pot smoker?… Read
# 1) I don't play any casino games. It gives me the craps. # 2) I got married in Vegas one time. But I don't have to worry. It ain't legal. # 3) My friend with the speech impediment said, "I lay ith ots of sluts." What he said was,… Read
# 1) I walked into a crocodile sanctuary and saw a whole bunch of crocodiles. I said, "This is a load of croc." # 2) Me and my wife were in her car. She was driving. I said, "Deer." She said, "Yes dear?" I said, "Not dear, a deer." #… Read
# 1) I don't read R.L. Stine's books. They give me Goosebumps. # 2) I just moved into a house on Fear Street. Hopefully this is a normal neighborhood. # 3) I wanted to take piano lessons. But I heard they were murder. # 4) Someone told me, "Don't go… Read
# 1) What's it called when you party passed midnight? New Years Eve. # 2) People always say they have a New Years Resolution. But never fall through with it. # 3) Why do people kiss each other at midnight on New Years Eve? So they could say they got… Read
# 1) A friend invited me to a archaeological dig. Him and his team found a tomb. And once we got inside. We discovered a mummy. It came to life and chased us. I said, "I don't want my mummy that badly." # 2) What classic monsters name is funny… Read

Reads: 293

# 1) My girlfriend wanted a heart for Valentine's Day. So, I stole one from the morgue. # 2) My friends asked me. "Why don't you have any children?" I said, "Cause, when I go shopping. I don't worry about hearing screaming." # 3) Why don't people ask, "How was… Read

Reads: 159

# 1) Apparently my best friend Cooper doesn't like the nickname coup. Cause every time I see him sitting on his coup. I say, "Hey Coup, why you sitting on yourself?" # 2) Me and my friend finally made it to land after being out at sea for awhile. And… Read
# 1) I met a baker with a high GPA. I told him, "You're very cleaver." # 2) What else can a spatula be used for? As a fly swatter. # 3) If you are missing a bowling pin. Just use a rolling pin instead. # 4) I asked my… Read

Reads: 150

# 1) Colton Dennis runs so slow. A slug could catch him. # 2) What's bigger than most peoples ego? Colton Dennis's waist. # 3) Found out when Colton Dennis is coming my way. My glass shakes. # 4) What do priests and Colton Dennis have in common? They're both… Read
# 1) Like most guys. I was tangled into a relationship. Yeah, I'm never dating Rapunzel again. # 2) You know the best part about dating Snow White? When your having sex with her. She doesn't wake up. # 3) Every time I put my shoes on. I think to… Read
# 1) I wondered this, "Has Jack Frost ever given himself frostbite?" # 2) I dated an elf one time. It was actually a small person. # 3) I asked a woman, "So, what do you do for a living?" She said, "I'm Santa's little helper." I said, "Oh, how… Read
# 1) Did Leatherface come up with a cool idea for a Halloween costume every year? # 2 If Leatherface had his own brand of bubble gum. What would it be called? Bubba Gum. # 3) Its a good think Leatherface used a gas chainsaw. Who knows how long it… Read

Reads: 113

# 1) Someone asked me, "Can you fight your food temptation?" I said, "Of course I can. Let me just finish this first." # 2) A friend of mine asked, "What's the key to a good night sleep?" I said, "Not having children." # 3) Ain't it ironic that you… Read
# 1) I asked my friend, "Want any kind of Jinn?" He said, "Sure." I handed him a gem and told him to rub it then your Jinn will appear. # 2) Someone asked, "If you could wish for anything in this world. What would it be?" I said, "For… Read
# 1) What shouldn't a man say while having sex? Here it comes. # 2) Who wants to be a millionaire? Everyone moron. # 3) "This is final jeopardy." I said, "Will you not say that before we die." # 4) What do police say to a person who's holding… Read
# 1) A British person asked me, "Want some fish and chips?" I said, "No thanks, Bass and sour cream and onion don't go together." # 2) How word does a British person use that sounds like a curse word? Bloody. # 3) What name wouldn't you want to have… Read
# 1) I wondered this, "Do strippers get dance lessons from professional dancers?" # 2) A stripper introduced herself and her friends. She said, "Hi I'm Sugar, these are my friends, Flower and Cookie." I said, You're just missing Butter then you can make a cookie, Just like her." #… Read
# 1) My friend said, "I'm sick and tired of this." I said, "Take some medicine and rest for a bit." # 2) Found out I have a weird power. I could walk down an aisle at a store and sneeze. The people in the aisle disappear. # 3) I… Read
# 1) I wondered this. "If Godzilla keeps destroying Japan. That means he hates it. Maybe he should move somewhere else." # 2) Me and King Kong have something in common. We both beat a part of our body. # 3) Why can only Monster Zero satisfy females? Cause he… Read
# 1) I asked my mom. "Mom, how will Santa get into our house? Since we don't have a chimney." She said, "Like he does with the other houses. By breaking in." # 2) I saw a snowman out in the cold. I thought, "Man, he has balls." # 3)… Read
# 1) What's a ghosts favorite fruit? Boo-berries. # 2) What's it called when a ghost ejaculates? Ectoplasm. # 3) I saw a whole bunch of ghosts one time. No more smoking pot. # 4) What won't a black person be for Halloween? A ghost. # 5) What's a ghosts… Read
# 1) If I saw puppets actually come to life. You know what I'd do? Sell the bastards. Money's the key. # 2) What can you asked Six Shooter for? An extra hand. # 3) When I have a gag reflex, I get dry heaves. But when Leech Woman has… Read
# 1) Who could do the best sneak attack ever? A graboid # 2) I ate very spicy wings one time. The next day, I felt like an assblaster. # 3) Who could hit a high note? A shrieker # 4) The Skeleton Dance Parody "The egg hatches into a… Read
# 1) My girlfriend said, "I could balance anything on my nose." I said, "That's great, I'm dating Andre the seal." # 2) A woman I was dating said, "I want you to treat me like a rabid dog." I said, "All right, lets go into the backyard." # 3)… Read
# 1) I was in a Celebrity spelling bee. I had to spell Ellen DeGeneres. I thought, I got this one. So I spelled it. L E S B I A N. I got disqualified. # 2) BINGO PARODY "There is show that I really watch, And I'll spell her… Read
# 1) They say, "Orange Is The New Black." Is that why Donald Trump got his body spray painted orange. # 2) What's Donald Trump's favorite saying? "It's a hoax." # 3) My friend asked me, "Who do you think is the best president we've ever had?" I said, "The… Read
# 1) Why did Joe Biden want to be president? To follow in his Uncle Sam's footsteps # 2) Why shouldn't you ask Joe Biden to speak faster? He'll st-st-st-stutter # 3) Why do women think Joe Biden sexy? Cause they have father issues. # 4) If "Orange Is The… Read
# 1) When Whitney Cummings is having sex. Does she say, "I'm about to Whitney." # 2) My girlfriend asked me, "Honey, when we have sex. Do you think about Whitney Cummings.?" I said, "No, why would you ask that question?" She said, "Cause the other night, you called me… Read
# 1) When do you know when Jaws is coming for a visit. His music plays. # 2) What was the original title for Jaws? Fin # 3) People hate it when I'm at the beach. I yell out, "SHARK." # 4) Jaws Theme Parody "Done, Done, Done, Done, Done,… Read
# 1) HAPPY DAYS PARODY "# 1, #2, #3 zombies, # 4, #5, #6 zombies, # 7 zombie, oh my god, The herds heading straight for you The Walking Dead is coming on." # 2) Why shouldn't you go to General Hospital? Cause you can't tell the difference between the… Read
# 1) The Wheels On The Bus Parody "Your mother keeps saying "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh My God, Your mother keeps saying, "Oh my God, Every single night." # 2) Its Raining, Its Pouring Parody "I'm paying, She's whoring, Thank god the old man is snoring." Cause… Read
# 1) What shouldn't you say to a blind person? Hey look # 2) Is it wrong that I wave my hand in front of a blind person? # 3) Is playing hide-and-seek easy with a blind person? # 4) I'm offended by the song. "Do You Hear What I… Read