Look at the people that are infatuated with. People that other people try to embody. Look at people that you’ve loved, people that have hurt you. Have you ever loved someone so deeply that it demoralized you? You become that, and never be the other person again.
Jack is a loner back then in high school, gets bullied a lot, teased a lot, etc. So after his third year in his old he transferred to new school. Now he wants to start a new life wherein he hopes his past would never happen again so he learned a lot of skills and take a lot of summer classes in order for him to bond with more people but he never intends to master it,he just want to be part of a group.
"she was worth being damned for worshiping, it is to her i owe my life. my soul has been enraptured forever just by her having existed. now, here i am, her accomplished heir who mourns his queen. how quaint."