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“Come on pick up. Pick up. Pick up” One-Eyed Jack continue to repeat the same two words over and over as he listened to the ringing on the other end of his call.

“What do you want Jack?”

“I need you to come meet me, I’ll text you the address.”

“I’m busy.”

“No you not. You work, write or think about writing and since you aren’t at work you are doing one of the other two. You can take an hour and meet your old friend Jack.”

“Maybe I’m with someone.”

“If you were with someone your phone would be shut off, so say you will meet me.”

“Ok send the address.”

“Ok see you soon.” Jack hung up and quickly sent the address as he smiled.

 

It was twenty minutes later when he saw Ian D. Mooby walking up the block.

“You should have taking a cab or an Uber, a Uber yeah that would have been cheaper.”

“I did take an Uber, but he dropped me off six blocks away, saying this neighborhood was too dangerous.”

“He was a wimp. Don’t tip him and give him a single star or no star. Can you give them no stars?”

“What is this about Jack?”

“This.” Jack spun towards the overgrown lot behind him and pointed at it.

“And what exactly is this?”

“It is our new house.”

Ian looked at the lot and saw a large run down ruin of a building behind all the weeds. “You dragged me all the way out here for this crazy bullshit.”

“I know it doesn’t look like much, but it has potential.”

“The yard is overgrown. Hell the weeds are taller then me.”

“So we get some Mexicans to do some yard work. Hector Mendoza he is Mexican isn’t he, he will have this yard looking great in no time.”

“That is kind of racist Jack.”

“What is kind of racist? Hector is a landscaper and Mexican.”

“That doesn’t mean all Mexicans are.”

“Well a lot of them are and they are really good at.”

Ian shakes his head. “The yard isn’t the only problem. The building looks like it is about to collapse.”

“It is in a lot better shape then it looks. Come on, just let me show you it.”

“Lead the way.”

“Oh you should watch out for rats.”

“Rats really.”

“Yeah those big sewer rats, you know the ones that eat babies in the slums.”

“Oh great rats, what is your brilliant plan to deal with them?”
“Cave.”

“He does like raw rat.”

“Him and Ferret can clean out the nests in no time.”

“Cave is in Brazil right now.”

“We can call him and he will come back, he owes you.”

“So I’m suppose to call in a favor to help you out.”

“This is for us. We can discuss it after you see the place.”

The front gate gave out a loud squeak as Jack pushed it open. They pushed through the weeds to reach the steps leading up the front porch, which ran the length of the building. The steps creaked as they climbed them to the porch which was covered in leaves and debris blown there over the years. The front doors were missing and the foyer was filled with more garbage.

Ian followed Jack inside and inspected the rooms as they made their way further into the building.

“Well it is structurally sound as far as I can tell, but it is going to need a lot of work, professionals. What was this place?”

“A sanatorium.”

“A loony bin, really?”

“Well yeah. My mom always said I belonged in one, now I am going live in an old one.”

“I have to be insane for even considering this.”

“This is just one tiny little issue.”

“Don’t tell me they left the crazy people here.”

“Nope, but there is Frank.”

“Who is Frank?”

“Lets go out back and check out the green house.”

“Who is Frank?”

“It is really best if you just meet him.” Jack headed deeper into the building ignoring Ian’s attempts to find out who Frank is.

The two of them emerged into a heavily overgrown backyard and could see a greenhouse sitting a little distance from the house.

“Ok first the greenhouse is filled with tomato plants.”

“Damn it Jack you know I hate tomatoes.”

“That is good since they are Frank’s tomatoes.”

“Who the fuck is Frank?”

“I’m Frank.”

Ian spun around coming face to face with a spider the size of a box van.

“Frank this is Ian, Ian this is Frank.”

“He is a giant fucking spider Jack.”

“I know Ian isn’t it cool.”

“No it isn’t cool.”

“Well he is part of the deal we get the building all the property, but we have to allow Frank to live here and oh yeah use the greenhouse.”

“The tomatoes, don’t forget my tomatoes.”

“Yeah nobody touches his tomatoes.”

“He is a giant fucking spider that talks.”

“I know Ian. Just take a few minutes and let it all sink in.”

Abandoned

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Language: English

Founder: One-Eyed Jack

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