Why Dosn't He Love Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I was just dumped, seriously, and this is kind of what I felt just excaggerated alot..I still miss him..=[

 

You didn't know what you where doing,

you didn't see my tears tears, that where brewing.

There was alot you don't know,

and still to this day, my heart is astray.

Lost in a frosakin land, the pain is a constant demand.

A cry in a far away place,

somewhere out there lost in space.

Did you care, are you aware, of the pain I'm in?

Do you know, I hate you, do you know, I could care less,

if you where do die, in destress.

The scar is so deep, all I want to do is weep.

The memories, are to much for me to take,

my hands always start to shake, when I think of the

good times, and bad, always making me sad.

So, I took the knife, slid it known my thorat,

and that was the end of my life.


Submitted: September 12, 2009

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

acedawg

Hey, girl, chill. they'll be other dudes, no big loss. you seem to be smart and you're pretty, his loss. Well wriiten, but dont be so down.

Sat, September 12th, 2009 2:49pm

Author
Reply

im really not, i said this was a huge exxageration...i could care less. =]

Sat, September 12th, 2009 4:40pm

SLJONES

great poem there is plenty of men out there. and you will find the man of your dreams chin up sj

Wed, September 16th, 2009 10:25am

Author
Reply

Thanks, glad you liked it!

Wed, September 16th, 2009 4:36pm

Flash

For a 12 year old that was a pretty good poem. But I am confused as to how deeply involved you were with this guy. Girlfriend, you are way to young to get so involved. Lighten up and enjoy!
As for the poem, a little work here and there could help, but really nice, indeed. I see lots of talent here. So keep working and use that computer of yours to spell check and punctuate for you. It will even help with sentence structure. Just a cheat sheet advice. Will come in handy in the future when you have to start writing those essays.
Enjoyed this one.

Wed, September 23rd, 2009 6:21pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, I don't really feel that bad. He was mean to me. It was just I did like him at the time, and I was hurt. Like I said though it was a very!! exaggerated poem, nothing to the extant my heart felt.

Wed, September 23rd, 2009 2:19pm

fairiegirl

This was a really powerful, emotional poem. Great job! lol Im not going to say Wow your really good for a twelve year old, cos i hate it when people say Wow you wrote this and your only thirteen? Its like yea Im thirteen and yea i wrote this. Lol Anyways i really liked this and im so sorry you got dumped. I know how you feel. If you get a chance please comment on some of my stories or poems. Thanks! x x x

Sun, October 11th, 2009 6:19pm

Author
Reply

Thanks soo much! I will, I promise!

Sun, October 11th, 2009 2:07pm

rachaelstarr216

The pain you are in now is nothing compared to the happiness you'll find later. It truly gets better than you know. ;) YOU are gifted in the art of writing so continue to focus on that....and who knows it could lead to bigger and better things. Great piece, heart felt emotion.

Sun, October 11th, 2009 7:35pm

Author
Reply

Yeah. I noticed that! Thanks, I only hope you are right. Thanks for the sweet comment!

Sun, October 11th, 2009 2:08pm

guitarplayer

This was really powerful- but there were a few mistakes.

that where brewing--- should have been that were brewing.

Lost in a frosakin land. --- I'm guessing you meant forsaken?

destress--- distress

thorat- throat


But it was really good- especially for someone who is only 12. I don't think my poems were that powerful three years ago!
x

Sat, October 24th, 2009 8:19am

Author
Reply

Thanks, I'm a good speller usally but not this time, obviously. I will fix those.

Sat, October 24th, 2009 9:14am

ZeroG57

I liked it and glad to see I'm not te only one who gets comments like Wow your really good for a twelve year old! Those get annoying sometimes especially when that's all they say.

Anyway keep writing because u will be an excellent poet or what ever kind of writer you want to be. If you need me to comment on anything else, just call :)

Mon, October 26th, 2009 2:39am

Author
Reply

Thanks! I know what you mean! My talent wouldn't be any better if I was 15, I've always been told I have a mature mind. I've always had to, it drives me nuts! Okay I will!

Sun, October 25th, 2009 8:30pm

DLCannon Reprise

If you hate him, is that any reason for all of this? Or do you just hate hating? Nicely expressed.

Sun, November 8th, 2009 2:42am

Author
Reply

Because I felt the need to get it out of my sistym. I was angry. I hate hating people, it makes me angry. So I shy away from things like that. Thanks for the comment!

Sun, November 8th, 2009 10:45am

Brian W

A poem from a broken heart. They are always good as you have the emotion to write them. Your heart will mend to be stronger and you have learnt some guys are not nice. I hope when you meet the next guy he will treat you right. ""Do not be in a hurry""
I good poem that showed the pain you felt

Sun, November 8th, 2009 11:59pm

Author
Reply

It does. Thanks for the support and the advice. Okay I won't. Thanks for the comment!

Sun, November 8th, 2009 7:15pm

Scrupulous Poet

I like it. The ending was unexpected; as if to take the reader on a short amusement ride? I was wondering if you misspelled words purposely?

Tue, November 17th, 2009 1:23am

Author
Reply

No, why? But thanks anyway!

Mon, November 16th, 2009 7:25pm

solitaire fable

I think people who we love the most, hurt us to the same degree. It almost feels like the end of the world until you wake up and realised,he's Just moved over for your true love. Great love and feelings for a twelve year old who's had so much sadness in life already. Love to you, Solitaire x.

Fri, November 27th, 2009 2:35pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much!
-123=]

Fri, November 27th, 2009 8:58am

swedish fish

wow powerful. Good thing it was exaggerated. You had a few misspellings but the poem itself was good.

Sun, December 13th, 2009 7:39pm

Author
Reply

Thanks!! =]

Sun, December 13th, 2009 2:09pm

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