Breaking her shell

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
She acts so tough, Like she doesn't need me.

Submitted: August 11, 2012

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Submitted: August 11, 2012

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I lay quite in our room, the soft patter of the rain soothing me to sleep, as a watch her chest rise and fall slowly, her hair tossed on the pillow, looking so vulnerable, so little, so small .A side of her no one gets to see when she's awake. She always acts so tough, so hard, so jagged. Like nothing in the world can bother her, can shake her, can hurt her. Even though she's a foot shorter than me, a good thirty pounds lighter and 5 years younger she doesn’t let me baby her. “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself “she always says.

A crack of thunder brings me from my thoughts. And I look back at her, her Carmel skin now tight as her eyes shot open with fear. She's afraid of thunder storms, always has been, though she’ll never admit it. I look over at her and smile, trying to easy away the fear, and as soon as her vulnerability came it’s gone again, her hard shell reapplied, a shell I someday hope to break. She smiles back, it's a fake one, and turns away from me, so I won't see her lay awake in fear until the storm passes , so I won't see her eyes grown in fear each time the thunder roars. So I won’t see her shake, will lighting not to flash, wind not to blow.

 She does this every storm, and I'm tired of playing her games. I pull her in close to me, her back straight in my chest, and stroke her hair, telling her not to be scared. That everything will be alright. She protest, claiming she isn't scared, that I'm being silly, trying to wiggle her way out, but then the loudest thunder of the night sounds. And she freezes, whimpering and turning around, burying her face in my chest. We stay like that for a while, my chin resting on her head as she listens to my heartbeat. And soon the storm passes and she turns back around, still snuggled into me. And I don't tease her for being scared or tell her I told you so, I just hold her tight and whisper my love for her in her ear, because I've just made a small crack in that shell. Breaking it won't be easy but this crack is a good start.


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