The Lover's Progress

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is my own love story.

Submitted: August 07, 2015

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Submitted: August 07, 2015

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The Lover’s Progress: A True Story

 

 

This is my own love story. For this reason, I will not mention anybody’s name, in order to preserve their privacy.

I’ve written more than 40 love stories so far. But the story that I’m going to tell now was the main source of influence for most of them. They all have a conclusion, except my own love story, and you shall see why.

So let me begin at the beginning. In late February of 2013, a certain mood came over me. It had nothing to do with happiness or sadness. It’s very hard to describe it. It was a mixture of romance, medievalism, sacredness, shyness, among other things. O, it was so sweet. If I’m not mistaken, the mood was greatly strengthened on February 23. I will never forget this date.

There were two things that strengthened the mood greatly. These were music and books. At the same time that the mood came on me, I was listening to some Arabic and Assyrian songs that were new to me. Strangely, these songs seemed to blend into and strengthen the mood. The music genres that have influenced this mood include some Arabic and Assyrian songs, Celtic music, Easy Listening, and Orthodox chants, among others.

The next day, which was a Sunday, I was looking for something to read in the library of books on my computer. There was a novel entitled A Princess Of Mars, by Edgar Rice Burroughs. As soon as I heard the title, it blended with the mood, and I knew that I was going to enjoy the novel. The novel was great and strengthened the mood considerably. Needless to say, all the novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs that I read later helped strengthen the mood.

On the night of March 14, I read and finished a great novel entitled Dainty's Cruel Rivals, by Mrs. Alex. McVeigh Miller. It was the first novel in the gothic genre that I had read, and it had a profound influence on the mood I was in.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual, and was hungry for more novels of that sort. So I read a ghost story that was also in the same style. Then I took a nap for a couple of hours. When I woke up again, I finished a novel that I was reading the night before. But I was still hungry for more novels like Dainty’s Cruel Rivals. So I went online to search for more novels by the same author. Luckily, I managed to find two more novels, which were entitled The Bride Of The Tomb and Queenie's Terrible Secret. So I spent the whole afternoon feasting on those novels. I did more reading on that day than on any other day. So the gothic genre strengthened the mood that I was in.

When the Easter week had arrived, my romantic mood went away, because the Easter mood had come. On Holy Thursday, I was invited to speak to a grade nine religion class. The teacher knew me and liked my speeches. I spoke about myself a little, and then talked about what Christ did for us on the cross. Well, going to that class sealed my fate.

When the Easter weekend was over, I was returning from the cafeteria one day when I met three girls who were sitting on the floor in one of the hallways. They introduced themselves to me, and said that they were from the class that I had preached to on Holy Thursday. I jokingly told them that I would report them to the principal for sitting in the hallway. But then I changed my mind and told them that if they sit with me during lunch, I would not report them. So they sat with me a few times.

At one time, one of them asked me who my best friends were. When I told her that I had none, she and another girl promised that they would be my best friends. But they ended up being my best tormenters, as you shall see.

At the same time, the mood that I had experienced before Easter returned to me. This time, however, it seemed to be pointing me at one of those three girls. Every time this mood came on me, I thought of her. And then, I began to fall in love with her. The mood and the girl became one. I could not be in the mood without thinking of her.

At first, I decided to do nothing about it. I knew that she would reject me. All the previous ones rejected me.

But one day, I told one of her friends by accident that I had feelings for this girl. The friend decided to text her and tell her. But I objected, saying that it was no use. She would reject me for sure. But the friend texted her anyway.

Of course, after the message was sent, I thought of her more. What would her respond be, I kept wondering? Thus, thinking of her increased my love for her.

The next week, I messaged her on Facebook to see if she got the message. She told me that she did. So I asked her what her response was. She said that she was too young, and that she wanted to focus on school.

I was devastated. I knew that she was going to reject me, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for it. I cannot describe the despair that I felt at that moment. I felt as if the whole world had turned against me. That terrible day was May 29. We had known each other for a month and a half.

She did say that we should be friends. Well, friendship was better than nothing. At least I would be able to still talk to her.

Unfortunately, she did not keep her promise. She kept promising to sit with me during lunch, but the promises were not kept. This proved to me that she did not care for me a bit.

If a girl means the world to you, her rejection makes you feel as if the whole world has rejected you.

Ah, those were dark days. They’re not over yet, but I’m used to the darkness now. People were telling me to not lose hope. My response was, “I didn’t lose hope. Rather, Hope lost me.”

Here’s a poem that I wrote after she had rejected me.

 

I cry day and night,

because she’s no longer by my side.

My eyes are filled with tears,

because she left me when I called her ‘dear.’

My heart is broken,

Because the last goodbye has been spoken.

She never cared about me anyways,

but she hurt me even more when she ran away.

She won my heart,

but her beauty cannot be described through art.

She has an angelic voice,

but she never makes too much noise.

Where is she?

My love for her is greater than the sea.

 

Well, after that, I continued to message her on Facebook. I tried my best to get her interested in me, but she was as cold as ice.

There was a time when I tried to forget her. I found many girls who would’ve been more than happy to date me. But it didn’t work. She had bewitched my heart and she was all I thought of, even though she never thought of me.

There were times when I told her that I won’t anoy her any more, meaning that I would stop talking to her and forget her entirely. I even unfriended her on Facebook a couple of times. But she would almost plead with me to stay as friends. Why did she plead with me not to forget her if she didn’t care about me?

The pain of rejection was so unbearable that my teachers told me to see a social worker or a doctor. But I knew that neither of them could fix a broken heart. Even if they could offer me some kind of a relief, I didn’t want it without her love. I even shed many tears because of the pain I was in.

Whenever I told her about my pain, she would tell me that I made her feel guilty. That’s about as far I got. Pleading with her was like pleading with a wall.

And thus, it’s been three years since I fell in love with her. But my love has only increased. I have promised her that I would remain single for the rest of my life for her sake. Unlike her, I do not break my promises. No other girl has touched me like she did. I think of her day and night, although she treats me like a nobody.

So, let me end with another poem that I wrote for her.

 

Your name causes my heart to throb with love and pain.

With love, because you’re all I think of.

And with pain, because your rejection is keeping me in a dark chain.

Your name is a magic spell,

And every time I think about it,

It makes my heart a teary well.

O, how long?

How long will I keep singing the rejection song,

And cry all day long?

Sweet girl,

Don’t forsake me,

Because You’re my only precious pearl

Come to me, don’t delay,

Heel my broken heart,

 and fill me with glee.

Let me hold you tight,

And through your love,

I’ll be filled with delight

 

 

Links to some of the songs that make me think of her

An Arabic Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSwdf0O3ms

 

Another Arabic song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahjky9YJneI

 

The Last Farewell by Roger Whittaker:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGWs1HK8iDU

 

An Orthodox chant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbt_DhRvx2M

 


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