The hardest working man in the bus station

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Hilarious short story!

Submitted: February 03, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 03, 2009



"It's a cold grimy bus station and Kathy and Judith are waitin' on a Greyhound"

So I'm pulling out of my garage, on my way here, and I can see my cats playing in my daughters power wheels corvette and... Well, you know.

Oh Kathy, those cats of yours are adorable. You know, I love to see animals when they are-  (a rustle of newspapers and a voice screams out from the floor of the bus station)

KATS!!! Drive uh Co-Vett. Ha! HEY!!! Kats don't drive. I'd uh seen that! Hig! Dunt, dunt, dunt, duh duh!

OH MY GOD!...(whispering ensues) who is that?

sweet jesus i don't know. but he looks like he could rape us.

he smells like an un-flushed urinal.

he smells like a urinal but he looks like james brown.

DOT-DOT-DOT DUH HOW! (as the man stands up fragrance cakes from the bus stop's urinals fall from underneath his arms onto the newspapers) RIO! Mmm, Cold. Cold in Ri- OH!

Sir. Sir, this is Chicago. Your at the Chicago greyhound bus station on 42nd street. Illinois...Chicago.

CHICANOS! 'Course they chicanos. This South America. San Pal-OH! HEH!

Can we help you sir? Are you lost. Do you need dire- Hey, are you James Brown

HELP ME OUT!? You can help me out. Look here, I need 'bout a gram of it. (The vagrant begins to hum and shuffle his feet. The loud tap of his shoes echo’s through the bus station, garnering stares)

i think he means cocaine.

Kathy, we need to g- (Kathy's sentence is interrupted by the sound of a
straight razor hitting the floor)

jesus the carpenter! a razor just fell out of his coat.

(the man sees a phone booth out of the corner of his eye and shuffles toward it) BOBBY! BOBBY (mutters indistinctly)...ACHA GONNA GET CHA HIGH...HEH!

Kathy, try not to make a sound. Just get up and slowly walk to the exit before he turns back around.

Judith... There's no one in that phone booth… It's as if he's talking TO the phone booth.

Kathy, shut-up and move before he violates you with that straight razor.

(Kathy looks over her shoulder and sees the man showing the phone booth an over-sized pair of orange sunglasses while muttering something about “LIVING IN AMERICA!!!”)

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