*Loud sniveling* Day in night in a silent house Jamal listens to his mother snivels and sighs of agony, She is afflicted with a sickness so uniquely horrific that it baffles doctors how she even lives. Some call the sickness she deals with a demon for anyone who has ever seen it has gone mad, but what ever it its a horrific illness that no one knows how to cure it, so she sits waiting for death in a hot dark house. Jamal unfortunately has been the one who has been designated to be her unwilling caretaker. Watching her snivel and suffer makes him sick. Hearing her crying of agonies makes his blood boil with anger. All his life she had done all she could to ruin his life and make him stay with her . Whenever he tried to work to get away from her she would do everything in her power to make sure he lost the job, from arguing with him day and night to make him to tired to go, to calling the place and telling them to fire him. Eventually he gave up and submitted to being her slave, but he always resented her now he had to take care of the same person who ruined his life and made him miss out on all the good things in life to sit there and watch her die day in and day out 24/7.
*Heavy footsteps* watching her walk slumped over in pain made his stomach sick., literally sick. He could barely eat food because he had to eat food with her and the smell of sickness was absolutely despicable. The smell was rancid and stomach turning. Imagine if some ones body was half rotting and half alive and you would only come half close to what a terrible scent this sickness she carries is. The scent hit his nose and no matter how much he tried to shield himself from it. Its like it was mocking him. Like trying to let him no no matter how much you try to ignore or hide from it , it WAS going to find you and make you notice. Everything about this illness made you watch it kill your mother. Jamal dealt with this everyday and more and more started falling into a angry out body depression. Watching her limp across the floor , he he sometime felt like killing her to be rid of her, but every time he thought that a small memory of the few good things she did as a mother flashed before his eyes and he hold his head in his hand with sorrow and shame.
*Handing her something she asked for* Watching her reach you see where the sickness has swollen her hand 3 times the size it supposed to be. On her sick thin body it looks really ghastly. Her nails are black , and in disgust Jamal turns away and runs to his room. The room is sweltering. Jamal calls his room pre-hell because its always hot on account that she controls the whole heating and air of the house. Since the sickness makes her cold she turn the up heat up really high making the house as hot as what Jamal imagines is pre-hell. It really bugs him , but it sometimes makes him laugh thinking she preparing him for his afterlife.Getting him used to unbearable heat now so when he gets to hell it will be a small adjustment. Jamal turns on the television and watch people his age living happy normal live and yearns for the day he can live like that, but for that to happen she must die. Then he stops thinking and his mind goes blank.
*Late night, hearing her crying and trying to fall asleep through the pain* Its 2 o'clock in the morning but Jamal can't sleep listening to her suffering. Jamal has been going through this same routine for 2 years, and is at his limit. Everyday wake up take care of her 24/7 watching the many stages this slow death is taking her , having to smell her rotting flesh, having to see this thing warp his mother into an unknown creature just human enough to feel the pain that it causes. He is very tired he can not go on another day . He has no rope but see a leather belt hanging on the end of a chair in the corner . He picks it up and walks to the bathroom where he won't be heard. Jamal loops the belt turns it into a noose and squeezes it around his neck .With the other end he put he hooks the belt at the top of the door until the noose part of the belt starts choking him . He starts loosing oxygen and a brief happiness envelops him as he feels this is the end of his sorrows. He hears a snap and he thinks this is it when he falls to the floor. 2 minutes later he wakes up and see that the belt snapped. Jamal laughs with tears rolling down his face , and says "to fat to kill myself, what shame".
Jamal lies in bed and stares at the ceiling sobbing. He refuses to accept hes still alive, that he still lives in a world where he has to be the sole caretaker of his psychotic ailing mother . That he lives in a world where he carried a heavy burden and no one to turn too and tell. He had to have died, he must have died and this was a sub hell he was going to be in for awhile before he was tossed in the eternal fire. Satan nor God could be as cruel to not give him and afterlife different from the hell he lived. Only one thing proved that he was still alive. It got cold all of a sudden. At 4 in the morning she woke up and went in the bathroom. The smell of that demon sickness on her was to vile to stay in an enclosed with high heat . So she turned up the air really cold and was the few minutes of day the house was not hot as hell. Jamal could not believe he'd live to see another day, he cried and wept until the first ray of sunlight came through his blinds. He cursed the sunlight and the people who could enjoy it ,he cursed his life, and he cursed his mother. Then he stopped and began the cycle again , living in a world not knowing whether HE was even alive or dead , or in some sort of hell or pre-hell.
© Copyright 2016 A Black Sage. All rights reserved.
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