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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Again, this story has graphic content, so be aware. This story poses the question, "What's worse: cheating? or pretending to cheat?" This story takes the stance of pretending to cheat. So, thank you for reading, and please leave feedback! :)

Submitted: May 09, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 09, 2017



"Hey, Austin?"
"What's it like?"
"What is what like?"
"To be loved?"
"Well, how do you feel right now?"
"So what's next, Austin?"
I don't say anything. I just continue to smoke my cigarette and bite the inside of my cheek so I don't show her how much this hurts me.
The computer is moaning at me. A girl is on top of some guy, bouncing up and down. Her big tits are going up and down in perfect rhythm, and she's asking for more. These porn films are always full of bad acting. She moans obnoxiously loud, and she whips her hair around and continues making unrealistic moans. But, I don't have much time. My wife will be home shortly, so I don't have a large window to get myself off.
It started with just pleasing myself, but that got boring. Then it drifted into looking at images of women on Instagram. From there, I have now escalated to videos. It's much more risky, but that's a part of the thrill! When my wife goes to pick up Sharon from school, or when she gets in the shower, or if she gets into one of her shows. Anytime I get more than five minutes alone, I can't help but get this raging hard-on that craves some girl with huge tits taking it in every position.
This girl, she's really bringing it home. She's got her knees planted firmly in the bed, and her arms are propping her up giving her leverage to really thrust herself up and down. She's giving those really fake moans asking to be fucked harder. The guy throws her off top of him, and she goes straight to her knees, asking him to cum for her. So, he starts jerking himself off until he lets out a moan and covers this girl with a load of his white stuff. As I do my stomach.
When I'm done cleaning myself off, I hear the front door open. Sharon comes in yelling for me.
"Daddy!?" she's yelling.
"I'm up here, sweetheart!" I yell back to her.
"I have a surprise!"
Sharon is in the second grade. So I can only imagine what it is she's going to surprise me with.
"Come down here!" she's yelling at me.
"Okay, okay! I'm coming."
I get downstairs, where I see Rebecca standing behind Sharon with her hands on her shoulders, smiling at me. They're both smiling.
"What is it?" I ask, confused.
She pulls out a piece of paper from behind her back, and says, "I got straight A's on my first second grade report card!"
"That's wonderful! You're so smart. First grade was easy, but I didn't even get straight A's in second grade! Jeez! Good job!"
"I guess that means I'm smarter than you, huh?" she says.
"Well, I guess so," I say to her. "Hi, honey," I say to Rebecca as I kiss her cheek. "How was your day?"
"Very busy. Work was a disaster, and traffic getting to the school was worse than usual because of a wreck. But, what about yours?"
"It wasn't bad. The office was pretty slow." Sharon is hanging up her report card on the refrigerator with a small magnet. "I'm probably going to have to go in early tomorrow, so I'll be going to bed pretty early tonight."
"Oh, that's a bummer," she says. "I was hoping to maybe watch a movie or something tonight." She's hanging her jacket up and emptying her pockets onto the table.
"Sorry, honey. Maybe tomorrow though?"
"Yeah, maybe tomorrow," she says. "I'm taking a bath. Make sure Sharon gets her homework done before dinner, please."
"Of course. Sharon!" I yell.
"I know, I know," she says coming down the stairs. "Homework. Homework. Homework. Is that what it's like as a real adult?"
"Oh, yeah. Nothing but homework forever."
"Then what's the point of even growing up if your life is always like a kid's? I don't get it. Shouldn't it get easier?" she asks.
"It should. But, it doesn't. It only gets more and more confusing," I say.
We are all gathered at the kitchen table. Rebecca made pork chops, mashed potatoes, corn, and green beans. The house is filled with a delicious aroma.
"This is your best dinner yet, honey," I say. "Thank you."
"Oh, you say that about every dinner," she laughs. "You're welcome."
"Yeah, thanks, mommy!"
It's nearly eight by the time dinner is finished and all the dishes are put away. Sharon has been given the chore of helping with putting the dishes away with me after dinner. She never complains about it. She usually sings everything that she's doing.
"It's only eight," Rebecca says. "Don't you think we have time for a short movie? We haven't cuddled for months now with just the two of us."
"I don't know. I have to be up at five. There are some new promotional things to learn and signs to put up, and not to mention I still need to put in paperwork that I didn't do today before I left. Just didn't have time."
"Oh, okay," she says. "Good night then. I love you."
"Yeah, I love you too," I say back and give her a kiss.
She smiles at me from the couch as I go upstairs. I can hear the television, so I grab my phone and go to the bathroom. I quickly search for something, anything. I find a video of some girl taking two guys on. I click it, and watch it for the next five minutes. Sitting on the toilet, I watch this girl fit one guy in her mouth, while she takes another one from behind. Again, she's moaning that fake moan. Eventually, they both finish on her face, and I flush the toilet. Then, I brush my teeth and go to bed.
Five o'clock comes early. My alarm is beeping at my ear, and I quickly snooze it so I don't wake Rebecca up. I roll out of bed, and brush up in the bathroom. I find myself thinking of this girl I saw once in a video. Her tits were gigantic, and her body was even thin. I look her up, and find a video of her on her knees. I finish, and then get dressed for work. But, really, I don't have a job anymore. I got fired last week because I've been distracted at work. I can't do much with this sea of sex at my fingertips. I was a car salesman last week. Since I've been off, I've had a lot of free time. Seeing as this ocean is so easy to get to, I look for another river to swim in. So, I've been looking into prostitutes. Really, they aren't that expensive.
I see a girl, she looks to be about twenty or so, with her makeup, standing near a phone booth. I saw her here yesterday, but I didn't talk to her. But, today, I'm going to build the courage to talk to her.
“Hey,” I say as I pull up next to her. She's wearing a short, pink skirt with a pair of tights that have runs up all sides of them. She's wearing a black, tight tank top.
“Hi there, cutie,” she says coming up to my window.
Instantly, my dick bulges in my pants.
“What's your name?” I ask.
“Janelle. What's yours?”
“It's Austin.”
“That's a cute name,” she says.
I feel myself blushing. It's like when the hot girl in school talks to you.
“You want to go somewhere?” I ask.
“Sure. We have about fifteen minutes. I go home at exactly 6:30. I've got things to do that are more important than money.”
“That should be fine,” I say.
She gets in my passenger seat. “Okay, so it's one-hundred for a blowjob. One-fifty to swallow. Two-fifty for sex. Three-hundred for all of it. Four for anal, if you're into that, and-” but I cut her off.
“Wait a second,” I say. My pants are about to burst. “I've never done this before.”
She laughs. “Nervous, huh? I'll tell you what. I'll make you a deal,” she says.
“A deal?”
“Yeah. First time customers get a special deal. I'll blow you and swallow your sexy load for fifty bucks. Then, if you like it, you can come by whenever you like. Sound good?”
“Um. Well, I don't know.”
I never thought I'd actually be at this point. But, I have to admit, the thrill is unlike anything else. I hesitate, but she doesn't. Before I know it, she's got my dick out of my pants and straight into the back of her throat.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
She pulls her head up with a smile, just like the girls in the videos. “I'm sucking your dick,” she says.
The words sound so hot coming from her. I want to tell her to stop, but she's buried it in her mouth again, and within seconds, I blow my load straight into her mouth.
“I'm sorry,” I say. “I didn't know that was going to happen so soon!”
“Don't worry, darling,” she says smiling at me. “First timers like yourself usually don't last long when I get ahold of you.” She winks at me.
I give her the money from my wallet, and she gives me a kiss on the cheek. “I'll see you around, Austin.”
“Yeah,” I say.
I see her walking down the street, and my dick is still hanging outside of my pants. The first thing I think of is this: if I want to continue this, I'm going to have to get switched to night shift at work.
Rebecca usually takes Sharon to the bus stop at 6:45 and then she goes to work right after, where she remains until five o'clock. So, I hang out at a coffee shop until around seven. Then, I go home to an empty house. A few hours later, I find a number in my pocket. From reading it, it's clear that Janelle must have put it in my pocket prior to leaving.

Call me anytime between 10 pm and 5 am to get together. Til next time. ;). 555-682-9417

That girl is something else. For being a worker in her field, she really looked clean. Her teeth weren't messed up like a drug addict’s, her skin was clear, she was friendly, and not to mention gave an amazing blowjob.
As I lay in my bed, I look over at a family picture of my wife, my daughter, and myself. We're all so happy. It's at the park at a little family picnic we went on. We had some stranger take it because we were just in that type of mood. Right now, I feel for the sorry piece of limp muscle in my pants.
How could I have done this? I think to myself. What is the matter with me? Porn is one thing, but I actually did something with another woman! The guilt starts to hit me. What's been wrong with me these past few weeks? But, now that I think about it, it's been more than a few weeks. As a matter of fact, this started about two years ago. It didn't start after the baby. No, this started when I found out Sharon wasn't really mine.
I came home from work, and I had just got enough money from selling cars the past few months. I remember because I was trying so hard to get enough to pay for this beautiful pearl necklace Rebecca had been saying she wanted. It was approaching our five year anniversary of being married, and things had been tight financially. But, this year, I really wanted to make it special. I was going to take her to dinner and give her this lovely pearl necklace. I remember I worked more hours than anybody and picked up as many shifts as I could. But, I did it. I had just enough to pay a babysitter, take her out, and get the necklace.
But, when I came home, Rebecca was crying. At this time, Sharon was almost one. She was taking a nap. Rebecca was on the couch crying. I came up to her, and comforted her. But, she wouldn't tell me what was wrong for the longest time. Finally, she told me. She said, “Sharon isn't yours.”
I got so mad. I was so angry. I couldn't even talk, and I went outside to throw up. Middle of the day, and I had just gone to the back patio to throw up. My neighbors weren't outside or anything, so they didn't see the argument that ensued on the back patio. Though, I'm sure they didn't need to watch to hear me yelling. After a few hours, we went back inside. I learned that it was an old ex-boyfriend of hers that she had slept with. She said it was a one time thing, but I didn't push it. I knew it wasn't true. By this time, Sharon was crying in her room. So Rebecca went to get her.
A few weeks had gone by, and I had said no more than two words to Rebecca. I had even began to stop showing love and affection to Sharon. But, one day, something just snapped. Sharon was crying in her bed in the morning. Rebecca went to get up, but I said, “No. I'll take care of it. Go back to sleep.” Then, holding her there at six in the morning, something just sparked. This girl was as beautiful as ever, and I loved her.
I was on the back patio with Sharon in my arms when Rebecca came out. It was a warm morning. She took Sharon as we both watched the rising sun. I lit a cigarette and stepped on the other side of the porch.
"So what's next, Austin?"
I don't say anything. I just continue to smoke my cigarette and bite the inside of my cheek so I don't show her how much this hurts me.
“I've decided that it doesn't matter. I love both of you. So, I think we can work through this,” I said.
She started crying, and we hugged for a long time. It was the three of us on that warm morning under the rising sun. I took the necklace back that evening.
The following few months were great. We were happy, and really, I felt no hate or anything towards the two of them. We were fine. But, I started really noticing other women. Well, if she can have sex with somebody else and it be okay, then I should at least be able to look. That's how I justified it to myself. From then on, you could say it spiraled out of control.
Sitting on the bed, I remember the way I felt after I had forgiven Rebecca. But, now I don't feel that way. I don't feel bad for any of it. As a matter of fact, I text Janelle as soon as I can.

Hey. This is Austin. I know it's not your usual time. But do you want to get some breakfast?

A little while later she replies that she would like that. So I tell her to meet me at the bus stop I met her at a few hours ago.
When I get to the bus stop, she's in a pair of tight jeans and a flowery blouse. She looks, well, normal. Kind of like she just got off work or something.
“Hi, there!” she says. “Waffle House?”
“Yeah. That sounds good,” I say.
On our way there, she tells me nobody has ever done this with her before. So, she doesn't have a price set up.
“So, just pay for me, okay?” she asks.
“Of course!”
When we get there, it's almost ten o'clock. It's busy, so we have to wait a little while. I'm not sure what to talk about, and neither is she. Even though she's friendly and seems rather talkative, once she's alone with you in a regular setting she's quite shy.
“What are you having?” I ask.
“Well, it was a long night. So, I'm really hungry. I'm thinking pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, and a small plate of pancakes to finish it all.”
I look at her with great confusion.
She blushes. “Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Is that okay? I shouldn't get all that anyway.”
“No, no. I'm just surprised. That's all! Get whatever you want!”
“Okay!” she says with a great smile.
Surprisingly, she finishes everything she ordered. I take her back to the bus stop.
“Are you sure you don't want me to just take you home?” I ask her.
“No. I don't like people to know where I live. Thank you though. And thanks for breakfast,” she says as she gets out. “Call me tonight. We can have dessert.” She winks at me and walks away.
For the next few months, I continue to see Janelle. I continue to watch porn. I continue to pretend to go to work every day. I continue to pretend my existence.
I'm lying in the hotel bed next to Janelle now. We're naked and she just rolled over off the top of me. I've been practicing the moves I see in the porns I watch. She's been making those lovely fake moans that the superficial girls make.
“You should get home to your wife soon,” she says.
“Yeah. You're probably right. She's been a little weary lately. Like she knew what was going on.”
“Do you think we can continue to see each other?” she asks me.
“I don't know how much longer this can last,” I say as I rest my hand on her bare bottom.
“Oh,” she says.
“Yeah,” I say. Then I start to get dressed. “I'll see you later, Janelle. Maybe next week. I'll call you.”
“Yeah,” she says.
I'm dressed now, and about to leave. She's still naked and lying in this cheap hotel bed.
“Hey, Austin?"
"What's it like?"
"What is what like?"
"To be loved?"
"Well, how do you feel right now?"
“I feel,” she pauses. “I feel a little betrayed, honestly,” she finally says.
“This is what you did to me. So many years ago.” I tightly grip the door knob. “You remember, don't you? But me, I'm just pretending. I could never be with anybody else. I hope this keeps you up at night.”
Then I leave. Unbothered by the growing sobs behind the door. When we get home, this will all be forgotten. All of this will go back to pretending. Just like everything else. Pretend I don't have a job. Pretend I have my life together. Pretend I'm having an affair. And most of all, pretend I created such a beautiful daughter.

© Copyright 2019 A. R. Eakle. All rights reserved.

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