Phsical Assault

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
My work is about how a loving husband can sometimes turn into a monster.

Submitted: April 18, 2013

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Submitted: April 18, 2013

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It is not that he does not love me.  But once in a blue moon rage takes over him, irrational, uncontrollable anger. At other times he is normal like any other human being showing concern, taking care of me and just generally being there.

 It’s not entirely his fault we may have an argument or a verbal spat but it is at times enough to unleash the cruel animal within him. He can bite me ruthlessly. Once he held me down and climbed on me on all fours. His hands held my arms down tied at the sides and he put his entire weight on his knees which were conveniently resting on my thighs. I begged him to stop, I screamed that he was hurting me and possibly the baby but to no avail. He was in a vicious mood all rationality was lost to him. I got angry too but there was nothing that I could really do while being held down by a monster. Finally he let go and then in a very calm and cold manner informed me he could not have hurt the baby since he didn’t touch my stomach.  I wanted to laugh at him bitterly then it was so surprising that such a warm loving man can be so cold, calculating and heartless at times. Luckily the baby was safe but my arms were black and blue because of his viselike grip. The next day when I showed him my bruised and battered arms to remind him of his episode of the previous night he kissed the bruises and in matter of fact manner informed me that I shouldn’t argue with him.

 Look at the irony of it all we may have had a row but a civilized world’s decorum dictates that you solve your disputes without physical aggression like adults. The worst part is I can’t even tell anyone about this assault. It’s not that I couldn’t tell anyone but I just that I love him too much and at most times he is a good, loving husband taking care of me and spoiling me. Also another question is who to tell. I don’t want to tell my parents it would hurt them too much. They like him a lot and at the end of the day they wouldn’t be able to do much about it except get really upset. I don’t want to tell my friends they will judge him for that and all his good impression will drown in front of them. I know it is stupid but I don’t want anybody to think badly of him because he is a good person at most times helping around people, trying to make himself useful. I could tell his parents they seem like a good option but at the end of the day although he will get scolded and told off it wouldn’t stop him from being physically aggressive towards me.  Really it will get us nowhere and whoever I tell he will defend himself. He likes to gloat in front of family and friends that he is a poor sacrificial lamb in front of me and I beat him up whenever and however I please.  That’s his standing joke. He doesn’t realize how people think of me because of the white lie he tells. While they don’t say anything to my face they judge me behind my back and it isn’t even true. First of all the last time I got physically abusive was a year and a half ago at that time I was a young immature 21 year old who loved to get into fights because she missed her cute younger brothers whom she used to boss around and hit. But then I grew up. Second of all my aggression never involved hitting my husband on the face or any other part of his body except smacking his butt sometimes and also I have never thrown a shoe or for that matter any other thing towards him like he likes to claim in his exaggerated made up stories. I have scratched him a couple of times but like I said that was a long time ago.

My parents have also had their share of disagreements sometimes I heard them bickering late into the night but my father never hit my mom and I know that my father-in-law never hit my mother –in-law. I don’t know where he got this habit from. I love my mother for saying that a man should never hit a woman no matter how bad the situation is. However, he has never heeded to these words I stopped all physical aggression a long time back but he doesn’t want to seem to let go. It scares me at times, he is a big man, what if he seriously injured me someday in a fit of rage then what would I do. Already I have had to pretend that my split lip was because I bumped into the door accidentally, I keep on getting bruises because my skin is so sensitive among other things.

I know it seems very cowardly on my part to not to take any action to put an end to this assault but that’s why I have my writing I like to pen down my thoughts and feelings. It makes me feel better or not. Now I am raving mad.


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