Poem by: aaihalbs
Submitted: April 11, 2011
Squealing tires racing towards arsonists'
Fires eating all that ever was worth their hearts
Beating odds because what are the chances
God exists and just doesn't give a damn/
A damn what?
© Copyright 2016 aaihalbs. All rights reserved.
I think it's pretty cool.
There's lots of places you could take this just because of the open ended question. Certainly thought provoking, so I'm glad that you shared it >;)
Thanks so much for reading and commenting :) One day I'll try again.
I would give it a 4-star for such a nice start but only the 4th line to blame for falling short of a 5-star. If it were a rocket your stanza would be a good base to launch. I think you have the right tools to get the desired outcome. Good!
Thank you for reading and commenting! I think I'm going to pick this one up again. Although I forever curse myself for attempting such a ridiculous style! Thanks again,
Actually, the 4th line seems complete to me. The only question would be whether the ode is finished or not. Have read many completed works that said much less. : )
Sounds good regardless.
Thanks again! I still feel it needs more, but I've never successfully been able to go back to a piece.
I really love this one, short, simple, and yet meaningful. :)
Thankyou for reading and commenting! I like it the way it is too, I used to think it needed more.
really great poem, ( could you see my poem> Respect me. / i think you would like it. ) :))
Sorry it took so long to reply, I don't get on often. I will check it ouy right away though! :)
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