Beating odds because what are the chances.

Reads: 537 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 5

In progress, I'm completely stuck and can't move on. It's not getting finished so it might as well be seen.

Squealing tires racing towards arsonists'
Fires eating all that ever was worth their hearts
Beating odds because what are the chances
God exists and just doesn't give a damn/

A damn what?

Submitted: April 11, 2011

Poetry

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BulletofCorruption

I think it's pretty cool.

There's lots of places you could take this just because of the open ended question. Certainly thought provoking, so I'm glad that you shared it >;)

Thu, April 21st, 2011 2:32am

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Thanks so much for reading and commenting :) One day I'll try again.

Fri, June 24th, 2011 6:50pm

Teach

I would give it a 4-star for such a nice start but only the 4th line to blame for falling short of a 5-star. If it were a rocket your stanza would be a good base to launch. I think you have the right tools to get the desired outcome. Good!

Fri, June 24th, 2011 11:28pm

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Thank you for reading and commenting! I think I'm going to pick this one up again. Although I forever curse myself for attempting such a ridiculous style! Thanks again,
Dia :)

Fri, June 24th, 2011 7:12pm

Ona Whim

Actually, the 4th line seems complete to me. The only question would be whether the ode is finished or not. Have read many completed works that said much less. : )

Sounds good regardless.

Whim

Sat, June 25th, 2011 1:58am

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Thanks again! I still feel it needs more, but I've never successfully been able to go back to a piece.

Fri, June 24th, 2011 7:14pm