And the moon showed her face,
Casting softness over grass.
Suddenly pleasant was the place,
The lake appearing sheen as glass.
To shatter such illusions,
Could surely bring one joy.
For something so perfectly serene,
Was mocking me.
Splashing through the water, ripples creeping to the shore,
Clouds filling in the edges, smothering the moon.
And the place that was so calm before,
Dipped into darkness as
The moon was smothered by envious clouds,
Who could never shine so bright.
And as ripples subsided, water did not return to glass,
Because the sweet serenity of midnight moonlight passed.
- November 18th, 2009
Submitted: July 09, 2010
© Copyright 2023 aaihalbs. All rights reserved.
Comments
Wow, I love this(= Wonderful write!
Fri, August 6th, 2010 4:06pm
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Oh, thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Sat, August 7th, 2010 4:17am
Wow...that was beautiful. Fantastic job. You have a way with words!
Thu, August 26th, 2010 12:00pm
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Haha I never think of my work as containing beautiful, this is actually a really old piece from an era I don't really care to visit, I think it's just too fake, too calm. Thanks so much for reading AND commenting :)
Thu, August 26th, 2010 6:26am
Forgive me, for I looked at your profile before I read your comment on my work called, "Will The Timing Be Right?" but I am on the look out for a stalker who's been sending harsh cold twisted logic. I am glad you are not her. For she is an NON REGISTURED USER. I always like to make sure she just did not sign up to comment me, and not be erased from my comments from people. And to answer your question, no I am not hitting on you. You just remind me of my very last ex.
Now.....about your work here. It reminds me of a black light painting I repaitned with diferent colors than had been painted when I baught it. The way I repainted it remids me of love. a love I am not on this earth to meat. I got my heart broken over 50 times. None the less this dream of marriage I used to feel was my future has only been a dream I grew too obsessed with to make real. I cannot try to. Like they all say....."You cannot force love." Well, what I say? "If it doesn't come.....it won't" I am too old to sit here and wait anymore. Sorry. I don't mean to sound rude, but I love my work too much to stop and let her in my world when there don't seem to be a HER to let in. Know what I mean?
Anyways.....good work. it is often nice to remember.....my best dream.
now if youn excuse me....I am about to read what I am dredding to find out.....your comment.
See you on the battle-feilds, aaihalbs! ;)
Author
Reply
Well, you just won Comment of the Year. And for your information, my question was not "Is this guy hitting on me?" But, "Oh, god, he has yet to read my comment.". Regardless, great comment. I love hearing my work can relate to another. It's so great to see an ACTUAL COMMENT! A meaningful one! I can't see how I could remind you of an ex, you can't possibly know me! But perhaps you didn't know your ex and that is why she is your ex ;). And, lol, yes, see you on the battle-fields!
Thanks so much for the awesome comment,
Dia :)
Very magical. I felt as if I was there, like you sucked me into your words. You have a way with poetry
Thu, August 25th, 2011 8:54pm
Author
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Thank you. This is not one of my favourites, it's been cast aside for a long time now. It's too fake to have been mine. Thank you for your positive comments :)
Fri, August 26th, 2011 6:47am
I adore the imagery, Dia. I love when I'm able to see the words as pictures in my mind, like the works of Ray Bradbury. I don't know if you've heard of him, but he is a science fiction short story writer who is known for his figurative language and imagery. My God, he would blow me away with every sentence I read.
My interpretation is that this person or whatever has been having a peaceful life and had gotten bored of it. So he/she stirs up trouble to break the monotony and then find him/herself in darkness that he/she cannot find his/her way out of.
Another plausible one is that a person is in a relationship and he/she wants to have a bit of drama (probably she for this one XD) in his/her life and it troubles his/her lover. The lover leaves and he/she is left alone to suffer with the trouble he/she has conjured. They're essentially the same, just with a different default situation.
I prefer the first compared to the latter. And that's what I feel it about. ^^
Author
Reply
Faherenheit 451 is the book I've read the most (18 times ...) for school & other stuff. I am ashamed however, I never read another piece by him. You have an amazing imagination but I'm afraid I fall short of your expectations. I'm so happy to hear what someone actually FEELS. It's awesome :D Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Mon, September 5th, 2011 6:26pm
i don't care if it means anything or not. it's just beautiful. i'll throw my interpretation at you just so you can laugh at how off it is. i'm thinking of a girl seeing another and thinking how beautiful and perfect she is and then rejoycing when she finds out that other is just as full of faults as she is. or something like that. anyway, i thought it was cool.
Sun, September 4th, 2011 2:39am
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Your take on it is much mroe beautiful than the piece, inspirational, many people could work off your ideas alone :) It is a metaphor for troubled perfection. :)
Mon, September 5th, 2011 6:05pm
Ah, can nothing be perfect? lol.
Though it appeared to begin on a pleasant, soothing note... there seemed to be a bit of something 'apprehensive', perhaps, in the first line. Then the worm in the apple with a bit o' polish in the final verse.
Loved it!
Whim
Author
Reply
I'm happy you love it, but I find this piece so juvenile still. Thank you for all your lovely comments :) They are always so well thought out and abstractly interesting :D
Sun, September 25th, 2011 8:36amFacebook Comments
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ranushka1
Very mystic I like it ! And what i liked the most is its closure
Tue, August 3rd, 2010 9:35pmAuthor
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Aw, thanks so much for your comments :) I'm glad you liked it, thank you for reading & commenting.
Tue, August 3rd, 2010 3:21pm