Okay, so it's the tin-man who has no heart, NOT the lion, but I couldn't work it in and I'm so frustrated about it! I mean, I can change lion to tin-man, but is just isn't the same. The tin-man gives the heebie-jeebies. Thanks for reading!

I've lost my heart,
I've lost my mind,
Neither of which
I wish to find.

I'm not the scarecrow,
I'm not the lion.
I'm poor little Dorothy,
Lost and crying.

Life's black and white,
But I dream in colour.
And a rainbow is nothing,
To all the others.

Thought and emotion
Got off three stops back.
Yet till this day,
There's nothing I lack.

I've got ruby rings,
And emerald shoes.
I can click my heels,
But it's no use.

I have no home,
I'm just bejewelled.
And magic's the drug
Of choice for fools.


Submitted: September 23, 2010

© Copyright 2022 aaihalbs. All rights reserved.

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Comments

storiestotell

I like it alot! Very well written!!!

Sat, September 25th, 2010 5:44pm

Author
Reply

I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading and commenting! :)

Sun, September 26th, 2010 7:17am

Graeme Montrose

Indeed i like it too. Neat!

Tue, September 28th, 2010 6:05am

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading my work and commenting :)

Tue, September 28th, 2010 7:03am

the dead poet

this is a very nice write i feel like that when I'm at work, i mind often drift i wish i could just click my heels and say their is no place like home lol, i like how you use the classic movie to describe feeling well done PS thank allot for my typo i made before to many people read that thanks again!!!

Wed, September 29th, 2010 4:28pm

Author
Reply

Oh, your welcome, but thank you for your comments. I think we can all relate to Dorothy, I'm glad you can :) Thanks again for all your comments and for reading my work!

Wed, September 29th, 2010 11:44am

Chilam

I love the illusion about the Wizard of Oz you put in there. I haven't seen an illusion placed so flawlessy in a poem before. Great work, Diamond.(:

~Chilam

Thu, August 25th, 2011 7:04pm

Author
Reply

Oh thank you for such a pretty comment :) Flawlessly, that's encouraging :) This really cheered me up on a down day, thank you!

Thu, August 25th, 2011 12:07pm

AlexisNicole822

Wow, I love this as well. The wording, the rhyming, everything. Perfectly incredible

Thu, August 25th, 2011 8:04pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much :) I'm glad you think that and I hope you continue to enjoy my work.

Thu, August 25th, 2011 1:10pm

Cyraus

This one is very charming with the Wizard of Oz allusions. You have a great way of expressing emotion within your words. Thank you, Dia! ^^

Thu, August 25th, 2011 9:25pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading and commenting! :) I do love the Wizard of Oz :)

Fri, August 26th, 2011 6:27am

JeniseMorrissey

Love this. I like that rhymes but it's not cheesy at all either, great work.

Sat, August 27th, 2011 6:55pm

Author
Reply

Lol I feel it's a tad cheesy, but I love it so much. Thanks for commenting! :D

Mon, September 5th, 2011 6:19pm

Ona Whim

Instantly mesmerized with the merry 'lil skip... then wham! Realized what I was reading. Believe ya wove a little magic of your own, missy!

Slowed it at the right moment, loved the rhyme...

Excellent.

Whim

Wed, August 31st, 2011 5:07am

Author
Reply

Thank you thank you thank you! I do adore your comments, as much as I appreciate them. This poem is one of my favourites :)

Mon, September 5th, 2011 6:14pm

brucek

i do like this but i can't quite put my finger on it. it seems whimsical, and yet depressing at the same time. is there something behind the scenes that motivated this or was it more of a random playing with words?

Sun, September 4th, 2011 1:58am

Author
Reply

The motivation was once at school my class had to do an analysis on The Wizard of Oz. Everybody was all lalala happy but I took Dorothy as a realist after I reached the actress behind the character, Judy Garland, and found out how troubled she was. It's inspired more by Judy's point of view than Dorothy's.

Mon, September 5th, 2011 6:08pm

Robert Kerr

Fantastic. Using the Wizard of Oz characters was a stroke of genius. It allows you to convey so much meaning in so few words. I do hope you'll be writing more.

Sun, September 11th, 2011 5:20pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for your positive review. I will always write :) I'm glad you found this piece powerful :)

Sun, September 25th, 2011 8:31am

jp23

Nice. If you replace the lion with the tin man, you can conclude the stanza with "I'm lost in this strange land" or something to that effect. You did a good job keeping the rhythm, structure, and rhyme scheme constant.

Hoping that you fulfill your author's comment to Robert Kerr and post it here for us booksians to read,
JP23

Sun, January 29th, 2012 7:37am

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for reading and commenting :D

Sun, July 8th, 2012 7:34pm

Dean Talbot

Extremely well written and what flow! Awesome!!!

Tue, September 25th, 2012 6:23pm

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