What Alice Found There

Reads: 609 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 9

I wrote this one a while back for my English class, hope you enjoy it :)

The path so trodden down you can't get out,

You held my hand on my lonely route.

When darkness flowed you found your fears,

Of the approaching unknown frontiers.

I brought you my feelings on rusted platters;

Rusted while the others mattered.

Oh, complaints; they weren't compliant,

And my relatives weren't reliant.

I'll stand alone and you'll fall with the masses,

My love for you like cold molasses,

It's so slow it's nearly halted,

And I'm the one who's faulted.

I stood by you but you stood by the rest

Dressed in Sunday best, at my protest.

I've flown over the cuckoo's nest,

Just like your parents guessed.

Marching down the beaten path,

My name is gathering laughs,

But I'm through the looking glass,

You'll often look and always ask,

What's freedom like?

- April 2nd, 2010

Submitted: July 09, 2010

Poetry

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Comments

BehindMyWords

I really like this poem. I can feel the emotion in the words you write. Great :] I love the title too.

Sat, July 10th, 2010 7:30am

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad you like the title, it didn't have one for ages :)

Sun, July 18th, 2010 4:59am

Brian W

I read this one twice :-) I wish I was a better academic... A good poem with rhyme and flow

Sun, August 8th, 2010 2:39pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for reading & commenting! :)

Mon, August 9th, 2010 8:21am

virginia

I like this(= Wonderful write, it was really good in my opinion.

Thu, August 12th, 2010 5:07pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much, I'm glad you like it :)

Fri, August 13th, 2010 3:44am

Lisa Marie

love the last stanza especially

Thu, August 26th, 2010 5:10pm

Author
Reply

Oh me too, thanks much for all your comments :)

Thu, August 26th, 2010 11:29am

Graeme Montrose

Good rhyming poem, well structured and good flow, easy to read like the wording, all in GREAT WORK!

Tue, September 28th, 2010 6:16am

Author
Reply

Thank you!!! It's quite the simple poem, but it's one of my favourites because of that :)

Tue, September 28th, 2010 7:14am

jenergy

i like this poem, and believe that you rhymed really well. the poem itself was great and the intensity was immense!great job!

Fri, November 26th, 2010 9:32am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! :)

Fri, November 26th, 2010 6:24am

snowclift777

i enjoyed this one.

Tue, July 5th, 2011 1:27pm

Author
Reply

I'm glad, thanks for reading and commenting.

Tue, July 19th, 2011 8:21pm

Cyraus

Well done. This one's emotions are very intense. A couple of lines faltered with the flow, but unyeilding patterns aren't necessary for such a great piece. I applaud you for that last line and how it breaks the rhyme and the four-line stanza and the whole poem altogether. That was very clever of you! It brings a new air to it all and that's what got me sold. ^^

Thu, August 25th, 2011 9:15pm

Author
Reply

I'm glad to hear :) I'm not one for consistency, when I took Writer's Crat in high school I almost died, so much structure! And syllables and rhyme scheme's, lord it was torture. Thank you for your comments :)

Fri, August 26th, 2011 6:31am