Fate?

Laying in my bed… eyes glued to the ceiling
Listening, hoping to hear you
Fading in and out of sleep, waiting for when I can wake
Wanting to look into your eyes…
To daydream about all the things that could happen
The days that I can see you… laugh with you
Wanting only to be held by you, to feel your touch
Knowing that it will leave pain on my arms, scars on my heart
Pleading for my mind to stop racing
Knowing that nothing good will come of these things racing around and
round
Everything I want… and everything I imagine are all sins
Feeling the devil fill my eyes with red, body flushed with heat
Reaching out for you, watching you walk away…
Thinking of your taste, your touch… your love
I can’t breathe, my heart races so fast for you
Knowing all my wants will never be fulfilled
Trying to run in the other direction I can feel you pulling for me
Every urge in me wants to come to you
To be with you and to leave the past behind…
To wipe away all past, present and future ties
Sweat dripping from me in lust of wanting you to touch me
Wanting you to run your fingers down my spine…
Hold me, tell me you want to be with me
Urging me to run and not turn around
Have no regrets for the life I live and to live it as I please
I see my ceiling staring at me, telling me to sleep
For when I sleep, my dreams tell my stories
Stories that only my eyelids will ever see
Knowing never how I feel, you will continue to walk away
And I will continue to watch, palms sweating, heart wishing…
Though never allowing fate to pull me in your direction