My Healing

Holding my breath slowly, looking into the depths of your eyes
Wondering how to grab the heart from your chest
Looking at you looking past me… longing for you to see me
Crying out with passion, a wall stops my sounds from you
I cut out my flesh to reveal what is within me
All along watching my blood drip into your hands
Only to disappear with your movements in the dark
Knives digging into my skin, trying to make the pain go away
Trying to make your eyes listen to me
To make your ears see what I am trying to tell you
All the rules written into the skin of trees… hearing them cry
Knowing that their cries will tell my future
Telling me what to do and what is wrong, do I dare not listen
Hoping one day I can know what your lips taste like…
Feel the breath of you on my neck, heating up every cell in my body
I know that I can’t, and I know that I wont… but that doesn’t make me
not need.. 
My veins cry out to feel the metal point against them
To feel something love me, to make me bleed you out of me
Running free with the drops of water down the drain
Trying to run myself dry of sin and sinful thoughts
Only to feel every urge of you pacing through me with each beat or my
heart
Awaiting the one moment in time when you see through my words and
Into my thoughts
When you see past the smiles and into the tears that call for you at night.
As I watch my skin split, I see you in my blood… wishing you gone
Never have I longed for some one to run away with such closeness
Holding on so tight that you never feel me
Heart racing at the slowest beat possible…
My eyes have become blind and my soul torn
I will sit and wait… until my vein have been cleared of you
… for I have no other choice