Suicide Note

So much pain is all around
Surrounding me like a pool of terror
Wanting only to move on with life, to be happy
Not seeing any good… only bad
Hating all the people that I have come across
My heart filled with all the disappointments and wrongs I have faced
Sorrow dwelling up, blood seeping out
Watching the water turn red, feeling the life drip out of me
Wondering when I will feel happy
Warmth escaping my body… cold over taking
Smelling the iron in the air, the smell of blood… of death
Waiting for the dark to allow me in, longing it to come faster
More scrapes down my arms in hopes of relief
Tears steaming so fast I can’t see
Heart pounding, lungs thickening with air to hard breath
Never have I wanted to be here and gone so badly
Nothing to relieve the pain of a life barely lived
Going through the motions, smiling in the face of lies
Going home to a cool bed and a colder heart
Pain… making my fingers numb… drowning myself in red
Waiting for someone to save me
Knowing no one will… thankful
Fuck the world; fuck the pain… nothing worth the sorrow
All the days I longed for him, for her… for someone
Someone to look into my eyes, tell me that it’s ok… to mean it
Life becoming a black hole…
Reaching out with the darkest of arms, forcing me to face it
One arm of the devil, one of God, tearing in both directions
No longer am I able to fight them… to hold my self up
The mask of a happy girl, fallen to the ground, stepped on by fate
Each piece like another dream blowing away in the wind
Happy to be moving to another soul… a soul who will fulfill its destiny
Watching my soul dripping out one drop at a time
Happiness awaits me…