Her head aches, her body aches
She feels like with in seconds, her backs gonna break
Her ankles have no strength, her feet are sore
Her feet are so red, on the inside looks as if they were tore
Too much pressure, she feels it in her chest
No outside activity for you, you gotta get your rest
Her nose is red, her nose is stuffy
She is almost pale like the vampire, Buffy
No picked out clothes, she is still in her pjs
Her head is spinning like the records from the Dj's
Her stomach is undecided, no appetite
Her mom made her soup and she just took one bite
She drinks her juices and takes her meds
The only problem is, her tummy won't let her be fed
Her throat is sore, her throat is scratchy
From the way she is feeling, her attitude is a little catty
She lies in bed and watches tv
I am sorry she is sick and i wish it were me
To go through her sickness, and tackle it
To catch her sickness and shackle it
She reaches for me, she uses my heat
And the presence of my body is what helps her go to sleep
Her body is frail, her body is weak
She wants my strength for my power she keeps
She hugs me so tight, she stays in my sight
Horrible thoughts even though she knows she'll be alright
"I will hold you in my arms" to her is what I told
And i will stick by her side until she releases her cold
Submitted: February 25, 2012
© Copyright 2023 Acie Anderson. All rights reserved.
Comments
I think that this is an excellent poem... You really can write about anything and it sounds good... it kinda reminds me of a Doctor Suess kind of thing with the majority of it... also the end had a surprise twist... I wasn't expecting that, with you being her strangth, I think that is a fantastic way to end it :) Great job
Sat, February 25th, 2012 9:40am
Author
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Thank you very much :)
Sat, February 25th, 2012 1:43am
Very very nice! Another good poem. :)
Sat, February 25th, 2012 4:04pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :)
Sat, February 25th, 2012 9:07am
there is nothing sweeter when love meets the eye
I love it! *dances around* It's perfect Acie keep up the outstanding work. It's hopefully loved by everyone who visit's I command them to love it and try pressing the like button a million times.
Sat, February 25th, 2012 11:09pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much Kylie bear :)
Sat, February 25th, 2012 3:22pm
Awesome stuff man.keep it going:))
Sun, February 26th, 2012 4:09pm
Author
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Thank you very much :)
Sun, February 26th, 2012 10:04am
perfect description of the common cold :) nicely composed
Sun, February 26th, 2012 7:23pm
Author
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Thank you very much :)
Sun, February 26th, 2012 11:40am
A poem about a cold, who'd a thunk? Good job.
Mon, February 27th, 2012 1:06am
Author
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Thank you very much :)
Sun, February 26th, 2012 8:45pm
Awesome. I love it. I hope she gets better, whoever she is :)
Wed, February 29th, 2012 7:49am
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :) And yes, I hope she gets better too :)
Tue, February 28th, 2012 11:53pm
Very good! You know your a good writer when you can write about a COLD!
Wed, February 29th, 2012 10:09pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :)
Wed, February 29th, 2012 7:58pm
your poem is actually really good :) probably one of the best ones i've read in a while, good job!
p.s would you be able to read some of my work, when you have the time. I would really appreaciate it :)x
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :) And sure thing :)
Thu, March 1st, 2012 12:57am
nice1
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :)
Sun, March 4th, 2012 1:47am
Nice One, very cute and heart warming :)
Sun, March 4th, 2012 1:31pm
Author
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Thank you very much :)
Sun, March 4th, 2012 10:39am
Aw thats such an awesome poem...it makes me feel better about getting a cold...in a way :D
Thu, March 8th, 2012 11:24pm
Author
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Thank you very much :)
Thu, March 8th, 2012 7:30pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much
Fri, March 16th, 2012 11:50am
Hi, saw your reading request, just randomly I stopped at this poem. I think it's good. Simple and sweet and has great emotion. Simple things can make wonders :) But, a bite of soup???
Sun, March 18th, 2012 7:33pm
Author
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Well thank you for reading :)
Sun, March 18th, 2012 7:31pm
i really lke this and some of your other wrk. i totally cannot write poetry!
Sat, March 24th, 2012 9:48pm
Author
Reply
Well thank you very much :) And poetry just takes practice.
Sat, March 24th, 2012 4:30pm
dude. i have looked at all your poems and i got to tell you how awesome you are. it takes real skill to find all these rimes. i'm a poet myself but i don't use rimes.
on thing with this poem though. the part were it says "Her nose is red, Her nose is stuffy, She is almost pail like the vampire, Buffy." for anyone who knows who Buffy is that will probably annoy them, because it sounds like your calling Buffy a vampire were she isn't.
but the real problem is how you end that part with just one word "Buffy" in my opinion ruins the flow.
If it were me i would have did that part like this.
"Her nose is red, Her nose is stuffy, She is almost pail like the vampire, watch out for Buffy."
still, all in all your stuff is great. take a look at my stuff sometime and let me know what you think.
Author
Reply
Well thank you very much :) and I totally agree with you 100% and I agree with your way 100%. I figure your way is better than mine to be honest lol. But thanks for input and thanks for liking my work and most definitely I will be checking out your work.
Thu, April 26th, 2012 11:57pm
Nicely written. :)
Fri, April 27th, 2012 1:41pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :)
Fri, April 27th, 2012 12:41pm
very well thought of and written! loved it, keep me updated!
Sat, June 2nd, 2012 3:30pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much :)
Sat, June 2nd, 2012 8:31amFacebook Comments
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Sat, February 25th, 2012 9:32am