Mother knows best?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Listen with your head and heart; eventually you will come to the right outcome meant for you.

Submitted: August 18, 2012

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Submitted: August 18, 2012

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Dear Daughter,

I tried for years to understand the connection between my mother and her mother. It is a possibility that her mother never spoke openly to her. I was always afraid to question my mother. There are things a mother should willingly share with her daughter. There are questions about her past that I would like to know. Those are answers to who she is today. At 15 I think I would have had the mental capacity to understand her decisions. I knew from the moment I was pregnant that I wanted an open and honest relationship with you.

I remember telling people I worked with that I couldn’t wait to have my first conversation with you. I commit to memory them telling me I was crazy and that I would rethink that when you wouldn’t be quiet. I can honestly say that was never the case. I love to hear you speak even when it was absolute nonsense.

I tried in vain for half of my adolescent life to not be like my mom. Now, that I am older I realize her strength and compassion (without her having to share her past). And I hope (pray) that I someday will be half the women she is.

Somewhere along the line I guess I unknowingly started keeping secrets from you, hiding my anguish. Part of me believed that I was protecting you from the evil ways of the world. My irrational fear of losing you bellows in every avenue you take. That is the fear only a mother knows. I recognize I must let you fall to understand the meaning of pain. But a mother’s hope, a mother’s prayer is that you will never have to experience that kind of hurt or understanding that kind of heartache.

I endeavor to always allow you to speak your mind. I argued logic and you argued with your heart. Neither of us is wrong we just have different options; a different view of the world at large. One skeptic to one optimistic can be a great balance. This gives us hope that we both can keep an open mind to each other’s opinion. In some cases you have changed my mind’s logic and I only hope that I have acquainted you with the truth to make you more powerful in your decision making.

What I learned from this relationship…. A mother-daughter relationship is a hard one to navigate. But if you are on the same page it is the most honest, worthwhile and compassionate partnership in the world. I aimed to be your best friend, your confidante, your protector, your champion, your cheering committee, your shoulder to cry on but above all I aim to be the best mother you will ever know.

As you begin to grow you will have other “mothers” who will want to be there for you. And in turn I will become “mother” to your friends. It’s a nurturing compassion we both have…..genetics


© Copyright 2017 Adela Patesel. All rights reserved.

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