Skin From Bone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Poem about self harm and hurting

Submitted: September 19, 2013

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Submitted: September 19, 2013

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You used to build me up

Used to say you wanted to see me soar

Now I come to you with things

And you tear me down to pieces.

I am not playing games with you

I am not manipulating you

I don't deserve to be yelled at and talked down to

For trying to confide in you.

You look at me and the love is gone from your eyes

You speak to me and there is no compassion in your voice

You are like a shade of what you used to be

And I am but a hollow shell.

You say you truly want "us" back

And want to put this all behind us

Yet you hold on to the thing that is hurting me most

And blast me when I come to you.

I don't want to come to you anymore.

I don't want to make waves

Because everytime I do,

You make sure to try to drown me.

Where did my best friend go?

Where did the man who cared about me go?

What have you done with him?

I can't live my life with this version of you.

I hurt so bad on the inside

So I hurt myself on the outside.

I cry until I pull muscles in my chest

But you still don't hold me.

I literally scrape the skin from the bone

With nothing but my fingernails

And still you don't hold me.

I fine something sharp to trace my veins

Questioning the quality of my life here lately

And you get angry, put on shoes, and intend to walk away.

I don't even know what I feel anymore.

You want no more scars, no more fights,

You don't want to hear me complain.

You threaten me that I am pushing you away,

Tell me I will "find out" what will happen.

I can't live like this.

All I wanted was my fiance's attention.

All I wanted was you to stop covering up talking to her.

All I wanted was 100% honesty because your 90% is still a lie.

All I wanted was for her to matter less than how I feel.

All I wanted was for us to be ok again.

Now all I want to do is numb it out.

I am starving again, I am controlling it again.

I will be skin and bones again.

Recovery is a day in my past after the pain I have endured lately.

You don't want me to come to you with things anymore

So I will stuff them in, they will feed my hunger.

I will change myself from the outside in

And wait for the day you walk away.

I don't want to get close to you

I don't want to give you my whole heart again

Because I fear it getting ripped from my chest.

I fear you breaking me to pieces.

Why did I give you so much of my heart?

Why did I trust you so much when I should have known better?

After all the yelling at me and tearing me down

I still have not forgotten that you are lying.

You don't admit it to me unless you think I already know

And even then it is a battle.

Well, my arms are burning and scars are forming

And I am starving and grinding my teeth

But I will be ok right?

Everything is always ok...

Right?


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