Feelings

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

What do you feel ?

I'm not that sad that you think, maybe I'm not at all, maybe it's only in my mind, but inside is killing my everything.

No ,I don't want to feel anythig . Yes, it was beautiful , powerful , but it was short . Who knew that love is more horrifing than special and amazing ? 

I'n young , a young girl with less dreams . One by one , dreams died , not because I can't make them real, because I stop taking care of them . Maybe is the right thing to do, or maybe not , but until now, i've never knew .

I will be short, I don't want to make you bored , because i was bored for such long time . What happened? I realised that 'being bored' doesn't actually exist . Was only in my mind , and i could control that ,hard , but i could .

Mu life was good , actually . Was fucking good and normal , days passed and I started to forget things , sometimes even to breath . It was good, was good to don't live . I can't say i was living, 'cause I wasn't , I was only breathing and eating .

What happened? He , he happened. Who's him ? The danger , the problem . Of course, he wasn't such a big problem, but my mind was . My mind was crazy , actually, it was stupid and silly . How can anyone ever think that a girl like me has any chance with someone like him ? He was way too old for me , and way too cool , too smart,too perfect . But life happened . I fell in love . I fell a little bit too much . I stopped eating and i stopped dreaming . I just lived the present . Yes , i was living . A life . Or this is what my mind thought .

It was powerful , every touch, every word , every lie . I felt the one and only . I was happy ,for a short time . It didn;t last long, I started being scared , very scared . And it started to hurt me inside, for no reasons . I cried when i shouldn't , I started dreaming again , i started being depressed , for what? For happiness? No, happiness was everywhere, but i couldn't touch it, was so close, but also so far away . 

Lies , lies ,lies . Lies kills me , every one that left his lips . Every night that i'm waiting for his texts , never ends . I'm still here, in the same place , tring to get over , because i'm young, young and innocent , young and stupid . 


Submitted: February 23, 2015

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