I am no longer her

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
(This one is about the woman I have become. I use to be ashamed of who I was but I no longer am. Clearly, my eating disorder is a battle I fight every day and it always will be, I have accepted that).

Submitted: September 02, 2007

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Submitted: September 02, 2007

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I Am No Longer Her

 

 

I have washed away those memories of who I use to be

But when I close my eyes at night I still see her haunting me

The girl with all the insecurities and the pain that fills her lungs

I won't let her take the best of me, I won't let her back into my life

I have come clean of that person from my past

 

Because I am no longer her

Scared of who I am

Scared to fight my demons

I am stronger now

I no longer need her to show me who I am

I am my own person

I am me

 

I use to be ashamed of the person in the reflection

Staring back at myself was a battle I had to overcome

I use to cringe with self doubt and I let my weaknesses take over me

The pain I carried inside kept me from loving who I really was

I overcame my fears and I am no longer my own worst enemy

 

I am no longer her

Scared of who I am

Scared to fight my demons

I am stronger now

I no longer need her to show me who I am

I am my own person

I am me

 

I told a fairy tale to the world that painted my life perfect

But perfection never existed in my world

My world was dark, painful, and obsessive

But it felt good to pretend that what I lived in was normal and ideal

It was safety I was looking for and perfection always made me feel safe

 

But I am no longer her

Scared of who I am

Scared to fight my demons

I am stronger now

I no longer need her to show me who I am

I am my own person

I am me

 

I thought he saved me from myself

But It was him who made me weak

And it was him who caused me pain

He made me shed tears of blood to ease the inner voices

He made me starve for life a life that wasn't worth living

He made me hide who I really was

He can't make me hide from the world anymore

 

Because I am no longer her

Scared of who I am

Scared to fight my demons

I am stronger now

I no longer need him to hide me from this beautiful world

I am my own person

I am me

 

It's a battle I fight everyday

He's locked in my head and every so often reminds me he is still there

Sometimes I hurt for him is it because I need him

He was my secret for so many years

But he was my easy way out

And the new me, doesn't take the easy way out

 

Because I am no longer her

Scared of who I am

Scared to fight my demons

I am stronger now

I no longer need him to hide me from this beautiful world

I am my own person

I am me


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