Final Good-bye

Why has this happened to me? What have you done? These questions run through my head as I sit, and ponder what will happen next. I can hear the police officer talking to my mother.

“What happened ma’am?” He says to her with distinct anger in his voice.

I flinch and my body trembles, as my thoughts wander else where.

Why, mom? Why did you do this? What if I never see you again? My mind comes back to reality as I strain to listen to what the police officer has to say.

“Well, I hate to tell you, ma’am, but you’re going to have to come down to the station,” he declares.

I can hear my mother crying and hollering, “What ‘bout my babies, what ‘bout my babies,” as the police officer escorts her out the doors.

My tears flood over full throttle. “No! Mommy, mommy! Please don’t take my mommy,” I shout out, as I run and cling to her side.

The other police officer standing outside tries to pull me apart from my mother, but I won’t be that easy! No I won’t! I say to myself. I hold on tighter to my mom’s leg. 

The officer holding my mother’s arms stops moving. He bends down to my height, “Now, miss, you’re going to have to let your mommy go; she’ll be fine.” He smiles at me and stands again.

My mother’s tears grew, and they spilled over again and again. “Baby, you gotta let mommy go. Let go, child.” She smiled at me. Trying to wipe away her tears, she said. “I love ya, sweetie, and take care of your brother and sista.”

Those are the last words I remember my mother saying to me. Ten years has passed, since that dreadful day. I stand on the sand, and watch the sun go down. The words seem to come back to me, as the wind blows steadily across my face, and tears once again fall.

 What have you done, mom? What did I do? Those questions come back to me and fade away with my heart into the ocean breeze.

I walk to the ocean pier about a mile down from where I am staying. I see a little baby crab stranded, left to fend for its self. I smile, pick up the crab, and put it in my sand bucket. 

I think to myself, this crab is me. I am left to defend my brother and sister from any harm. I am lost and stranded, hoping one day I will see the place I once called home. Praying, she, my mother, is still alive and well. Hoping she isn’t trying to drink her sorrows away. Wishing she will change her way of living and start anew.

Long ago, I forgave her for what she did. Now all I can do is be patient and silent. I ponder when I will see her smiling face, and say, “Mom, I’m home, and I will never leave your embrace again.”

I know that will not happen. I will not see her. I can only dream of the days before me, and get caught up in my own thought.

I sit down on the sand. I look to heaven, and pray all is well with my mother. Then, I look out to the vast ocean. It’s a pit of nothingness.

 To me, my mom is only a silhouette now, and I must move on. Move to a place of happiness and full of love. I laugh to myself. That’s going to be hard to do, considering there’s not a lot of fullness in my heart. It’s quite empty.

I take a deep breath and stand on my feet. I pick up the bucket I am carrying and dump the crab into the ocean. I look to the heavens once again and smile. “Thank you, God, for the life I have now,” I say with my arms above my head spread out, trying to reach the sky.