A Lesson in Kloat Scheeten

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Kloat Scheeten is a game played in Germany by adults. This poem may sound funny at the beginning but it has a twist towards the end.

A lesson in Kloat Scheeten[1]
Alaaddin Al-Dhahir
On a sunny Saturday
I joined a group to throw a disk
A wooden disk with its core cast in lead
Against another group with another disk
Nine men and women against another nine
Tall, short, slim, fat
Or in any form and size
Pulling a carriage
Filled with cheese, sausages,
Beer and wine
One woman came armed
With a cold bottle of Jaeger Meister
To seduce a poet and a writer
In a game called Kloat Scheetten[2]
Men were coveting women
Women were coveting men
With desires freed by the Satan
Someone to fear, someone to dread
I thought of you and learned a lesson
I thought this is not a game
For a grown-up
What the heck
Cheer up
Throw the disk and get drunk
I took a risk and one more risk
Along a road surrounded by a ditch
And another ditch
I got better and better in throwing the disk
I thought of you and learned a lesson
I thought of you every minute, every second
At the break, I leaned against a wooden pole
The sun beams gave me warmth
Adding to my tan another tan
On an early spring day
I felt you in my depth
I thought of you and the blood you shed
Our group won
Don’t ask me how
They chose me a king of the game
I don’t know why
I was drunk
I thought of you
I felt I was an Ottoman sultan
Without a palace, without a divan
Yes, I am an eternal lover
A volcano caused by a mantle plume
With flames and a fume above a fume
Yes, I am a warm lover
A dreamer, not a madman
‘Cause old habits die hard
I thought of you and learned a lesson
Your heart was in my hand
Unlike my heart
My heart is a rocket with a warhead
I thought of you and learned a lesson
You are cold and frigid
A thorn, not a tulip
Be wise
Don’t pretend otherwise
Don’t pretend to be a mid-summer surprise
You are an eclipse, not a sunrise
Yes, I learned my lesson
You are a cheese-head
Not a passionate woman
I thought of you and learned a lesson
You are a cheese-head
With a wooden heart,
Its core cast in lead


[1] Written on March 15, 2011 and improved on March 28.
[2] Pronounced “shayten”


Submitted: March 28, 2011

© Copyright 2021 Alaaddin. All rights reserved.

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