Anorexia: A Hard Road

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Health and Fitness  |  House: Booksie Classic
My battle with eating disorders.

Submitted: May 30, 2013

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Submitted: May 30, 2013

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I guess it makes sense that I developed anorexia. Starting at a young age, my mom put a lot of pressure on me to be perfect and thin. If I asked for second helpings of anything she would remind me that I needed to watch my weight. This started when I was only 8 years old. My meal sizes were predetermined and if I asked for more I would go to bed hungry. The less I ate the prouder my mom was. At around the start of grade 7, I began to look at myself entirely differently. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn't point out a thing I liked. It was always, "My hips are too wide," or "My thighs are too large." A neverending fury of insults directed only at my self. I became obsessed with my weight, It was always too high and I was never happy. I then made the hard desicion to starve myself. Just a meal or two here and there, but it wasn't long before it turned into days without eating or living on one meal a day. I lost a lot of weight, but I still was far from thin. I hated myself. I still do. I still skip meals compulsively and I'm never thin enough, or pretty enough. When I finally decided to tell someone about it, I decided to tell one of my best friends. One day after school I said to him, "I'm Anorexic" He laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

"You?!" he sneered "You're not anorexic! Anorexic's are supposed to be skinny!"

I didn't eat for 2 weeks after that. My parents ended up forcing me too eat because I had passed out from starvation. I don't think my anorexia is something I will get over easily. I'm not ever going to be able to look myself in the mirror and say, "I like myself." Because It would all be lies. Oh well. Nothing to do but keep trying. Thanks! -AC


© Copyright 2018 Alana Claire. All rights reserved.

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