Unspoken thoughtss

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

Your feelings are all made by your own thoughts

Why do I like to write? Well, it's like the best self talk you can have with yourself. I sit here in quietness and my mind wonders. All these thoughts and it makes me curious, and if it's something that important to me, why not write about it, too. 

 
So I had these creepy thoughts as to why I speak and say certain things I don't say out loud when I think of something in my head. So I realized that we talk with our minds, and think with our eyes. Because everything we catch with our eyes, we say it to ourselves. And when it's in our minds we formally express them verbally.
 
Is that crAzy? I bet you understand what I'm saying, but never questioned yourself. Well that's what makes me a writer, and probably not you. That I question my eyes, I.e., why is that girl dressed like that? Is that guy talking dirty to that girl? Did somebody just fart? That girl has too much cellulite for that dress? Does that dude have a hardon? That girls toes are so crusty? I wonder how people feel about this guy blasting his music at this time? I wonder if they heard me fart? (Questions I don't say aloud). 
These things we ask ourselves are through our eyes. We picture it and think about it, sometimes replay them. Does this happen to you? I bet your thinking about it, now. Wondering if you actually think that way. The answer is yes, we do think that way, but never express it verbally, why? Because we don't think it's important, or we don't want to sound crude. Sometimes, when people are talking to me, I am thinking bad thoughts, like I wonder what she do if I punched her in the face? I wonder what she do if I spit in her face. I actually sit there and picture the entire thing, over and over, till I'm fully satisfied. Then I turn and I don't know what the heck she wAs even saying because I was totally distraught and not even mentally there. That's another thing, i am usually not even here when I speak. Other times I'll be talking in a group, and when I'm talking im paying attention to myself, but when someone else talks, my eyes wonder and I'll look at someone and think, hey, do I know that girl, I think her names Amy, I met her through so and so, damn she got ugly. Meanwhile my group of friends are still talking and asking me what I think, mind you I was so caught up thinking if I knew that girl, that I forgot what I even spoke of, and what they expressed now. I do that 99% of the time with anyone I speak with. I say things, that a minute later, I don't recall what I said. Sometimes it bums me out. I'm in my head more than I am here on earth. 
 
I suggest that you start writing the thoughts you don't share and then analyze yourself, what do you think of yourself for those thoughts? Do you find them normal? Do you feel ashamed for what you thought? What do you feel? See these are the things I question everyday, almost every minute that I can remember what I'm doing. I know this sounds like a labyrinth, but if you really read what I am saying, you might enter into my zone for a second and feel what it feels like to be me. And hey, maybe you, maybe we are the same, maybe we're not, I don't know. You can only answer that, am I the weirdo, or maybe it's you? What I'm trying to say is, you are the owner of what you feel, even if you think it, it's your own creation. Everything you feel in life, how you think people treAt you, how you think people see you, is all about what you think they thought. So it's all in your imagination. 


Submitted: November 05, 2014

© Copyright 2021 Alayton. All rights reserved.

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wily geist

This seems an honest piece. In a way, we seem more distracted by things and maybe that is why we have trouble with conversations. If someone is in their twenties or thirties they seem consumed by their cell-phone and the media mirror they stare at, themselves. The advent of the selfie instead of a picture of nature, a truncated conversation without caring, a world in which we become a celebrity without fame. The honesty of the piece is that the writer judges the girl as ugly, but what is ugly? Is hate and anger more ugly than a person who doesn't live up to media conventions of looks?
This piece may predict the future: Nobody in the future can relate to one another without it being something sliced into bits of minor time and thoughts
of shallowness. We will succumb to the Internets jungle of junk news,and place ourselves inside the bubble of consumerism until the thing blows up.

Mon, January 12th, 2015 4:50am

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