a girl and a guy end up on an island, and live a wonderful life but what happens when she loses what she longs for the most?

I stared at the pink flower that I had just picked from the sand.  The stem was already wilting, and had begun its wilting effect on the flower.  As soon as I saved the flower from a sooner death I stared at it.  It was a symbol of our love.  Of mine and Jame's love.  It seems so long ago, but time alters when you block a tragedy from your mind.

I must have begun to dream of James' again because I did not realize the sound of the waves had grown louder.  They begun to be soft, but when I drifted back into reality-well this reality-I realized they got somewhat loud. I got back up to my feet and walked to the edge of the water, leaving the flower behind me at the base of the tree.  I felt the water touch lightly at the edge of my toes.  As I stared at the moon above me, I noticed the few dark clouds left over from the recent downpours.

I sighed, knowing I would miss this place.  However, leaving this place was a smaller price to pay than my suffering here.  I walked deeper into the water, feeling the sand on the soles of my feet.  When I was finally forced to tread water for a short while, I stopped swimming out.  I then floated on my back and started to feel my dress being lightly pulled into the water.

I tried to speed up the process of sinking by pushing myself lower into the water.  When I finally felt the sand and small pricks from the tiny rocks on my back, I felt around looking for rocks.I found two good-sized rocks to use, and placed them on the edge of my dress on both sides.  All that was left was to wait.  Now, they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die.  I never thought that to be true, but as I laid here in serenity, I saw everything from the moment I met James in my mind.  It played as if I was sitting in a movie theatre, and I assumed nothing before James mattered.  When I tried to remember before him, in an attempt to rewind this tape, it was blank.  He was on the cruise trip that my family went on and I met him on the island we first stopped at.  He had asked me if I wanted to go for a boat ride, and thats when we got stuck...

"See aren't you glad you came here?"  We had been on the cruise for two days now and I already wanted to go home before James asked me to ride in the rowboat with him.  I agreed because I didn't want to be stuck on the beach alone, I didn't have to do any work, and hey, he was cute.

"Truthfully, I am."

"See all it takes is the smell of the ocean to get your mind back in gear."  As he rowed the boat I watched him.  His tousled black hair flowed in the wind and his soft wood grained eyes watched back out into the ocean.  I could also notice how well-defined his abs and biceps were after each row.  His muscles were bulging from all the work against the slight waves.  The waves that were bigger than they seemed.  The ones pulling us away from shore!  The ones causing those on the beach to start to look like ants in a sandbox!

"Uh... James?"  He could sense what my worry was for.

"I've got it.  I'm trying to go back," he said, rowing harder than he was recently.  It wasn't helping, though.  "I don't know if we can make it back, the waves are picking up."  He was right; the wind did seem to blow heavier against my body, causing me to shiver.  I started to get anxious as I heard the beating against the boat and sat with my knees to my shoulders.

"What's going to happen James?"

"I don't know.  I'm trying to get back."  As the rain began to trickle down my face, I looked to the sky almost pleadingly.  Just then one of the waves must have become bigger than us for we were flipped over...

Water begun to push up against the insides of my nose, begging to be pushed in, just  to drown me in a quick movement.  I failed to fight against it because my body knew my mind wanted to end this as soon as it could.  I knew I would only have a certain amount of time before the suffering was over.  I just wish I never met James.  That we never washed up onto this island to only get to be closer to each other than any cruise could cause two people to do...

 As my own coughing woke me, I looked to James beside me.  He was snoring and looked exhausted, and I let him sleep.  He deserved it with all the work he's done.  I looked around us and realized we were almost done with our 'sanctuary'.  As a base we had made a line of rocks to almost form a moon, but where the shoreline was it opened up and kept going out parallel into the water.  Not only was it a mini-sanctuary, it was a great place to collect food, for at the top fourth of the 'moon' we trapped fish to eat.

The huge tree above our head created a shelf of branches that shaded us completely from the mid-afternoon sun.  The thick leaves were tangled together that it restricted anything from escaping through its barrier.  James and I had begun making a real roof, though, over our sanctuary.  He had no problem carving stones by using a tool he made on the island to cut out stalagmites.  It worked and he carried them to the sanctuary so we could use them as pillars.  I began making the roof by tangling branches that James had cut from nearby trees.  Eventually I heard a crash in the water and saw James placing a pillar into the ground.  The first of eight to place, but that was no problem with the strength James had.

I had half the roof done and was running out of supplies.  James had finished his task though, and climbed into two of the trees and broke of as many branches as he could and tossed them down to me.  I started to feel the sun's heat on my skin and I glanced up into the sky.  The sun had dropped immensely from the last time I looked at it.  James must have noticed the same thing because he shouted, "Time to eat!"  As I started the fire, a task learned by him, he grabbed two fish for each of us and started cleaning it.  By the time the fire was ready, he was ready to cook and so he did.  As always.  This was the routine we had for a lot of meals and I was truly okay with it as long as it included him.

"You know we've been here for a good amount of time now," he said, as half his first fish disapeared down his throat.

"Mhmm..." I mumbled with a mouthful of my own fish.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Shoot."  Shoot?  Man, living on this island sure has lowered my vocabulary.

"Well, what do you honestly think of me?"

"Seriously?'  He nodded.  Well, you're a god, who without you I would die...I just wish you could see how madly in love with you I just happen to be.  "I think you're sweet, even if you probably hate being stuck on this island with me."  That works I guess.  Try and prod it out of him.

He got up out of both being in shock and being done eating.  I also got up and we went back to our sanctuary.  We sat in the middle of the sand and he said-- insisted-- that "that's ridiculous!" and I could swear he mumbled, "I don't hate you..."  Then again, my imagination has tricked me before. I decided to test my reality perception anyways.

"I don't hate you either.  Trust me."

"But, unlike you...I..." he stopped as if he was either remembering something or was just lost in thought.  He then got up and walked past the tree a little ways and knelt down on the ground.  He then returned with his left fist clenched, "close your eyes."  I did as he said, and as I held out my hand, a light object fell into my fingers.  It was braided weeds, that amost felt like twine, and on it was a carved heart.  Inside the heart was 'J & S' and a diamond near the point of the heart.  I rubbed my finger sgsindt the diamond, awed at how he got it there.

"Wow! Is this for me?"

"He looked around and said, "well I guess since there's no one else here it has to be."  He chuckled and then said lightly, "I made this because I love you."

"Oh James I love you too!" I replied wholeheartly, hugging him and then kissing him.  I then rested against his shoulder as we watched the sun set.  A flower then grew between our hips, soon to bloom into beautiful pink flower as our love grew stronger every day...

"Sarah! Sarah wake up!"  I groaned.  "Come on love!"  I felt a warm set of familiar lips against my cheeks.  That was impossible though.  James was gone.  He shouldn't exist, should he?  No, I saw him that night...

 "Where is he?!" I muttered to myself.  The rain had grown fiercer and the waves were crashing against the rocks.  The rain outlined thickly under the roof, ending up inside my shelter due to the sheer force of winds.  I knew we should have made siding to our sanctuary, but this was simply unpredictable.  I held the heart necklace that was around my neck, and for some reason it always calmed me.

However, this was one of he first times it didn't work down my nerves at all.  It had never rained like this in our paradise and it had come so quickly!  James was out there searching for food; deer or boar was an elegant dinner for our "anniversary" (and at first monthiversarys) and "approx. holidays".  No animals would be out today, and he shouldn't be either!  There was no way he could have found shelter to protect himself because the cave was probably too far away from the North side (where the animals big enough to feast on sheltered.)  It was getting late, but I didn't want to sleep and it was too hard to in this weather, so I sat there, waiting for him.

In what felt like days within the hours the rain lasted, it finally let up and the moon barely lit up the night.  When the rain finally let up, I lit a fire and my eyes stared into them, entertained for the moment.  After staring at it for so long, I became drowsy and my eyes eventually closed.

My eyes had opened again after a deafening crack in the air had sounded.  It was still raining, but a long time had passed and the fire was nothing but warm embers.  The moon was shining in between the clouds and the clouds seemed to be moving away.  I decided I had to look for my missing love.  It was a stupid idea, and I knew it too, but I had to make sure he wasn't hurt.  We both knew the island too well to get lost and we had never had problems with the animals.  Then again we never had a problem with rain either.  I clutched to my necklace and got up, and as I did I stepped on a leaf.  As I looked at the leaf, my eyes grew wide as I picked up the pieces and realized where it came from.

The flower.  The one that planted itself into the sand ever since James told me his love for me.  The flower now beginning to wilt at its leaves since James had gone missing.  I hadn't noticed it before, but now I had the chance to.  I had to leave before it was too late.  I had to get to him in case he had yet to breathe his last breath.  I ran through the trees, my adrenaline kicking in and leading the way.  I swiftly avoided the tree trunks ahead that tried to stand in my way and thanks to the torch in my hand I succeded.

Even though I didn't think the cave would have been reached by him, something deep inside my mind pushed me vigorously towards it.  As I got closer, the heart I was holding seemed to be getting warmer and warmer, and when I reached there it was burning into my hand.  As soon as I looked at the beach the cave jutted out to, my heart stopped, so I failed to notice the slight pain in my hand.  The cave, right against the shoreline held no James now.  I looked at the shore and saw the shimmer of James.  The soul of James, at the very least.  It glowed in the moonlight, and he looked peaceful as he floated into the air.

My feet kept going as I got to his soul, with no body to find.  Until then everything else inside of me failed, but once I stood firm my lungs had a chance to push against me and sent a cry of anguish out of my mouth.  Feeling a shot of pain in my lungs from how hard I was forcing the breath in and out of me, I begun to hyperventilate, again, and needed to see him smile and run out of the woods, saying "gotcha!"  That was impossible though. This paradise was no longer a dream-coma that I lived each day, it had just become a reality as my heart twisted in its place.

James, in the air, turned.  His hand reached out for me, as if he wanted to stay, but his body floated upwards towards the moon.  My eyes saw him, but my brain could barely register what was going on.  As I stared into what soon became darkness as his body faded away in the wind, I felt a darkness loom over like never before.  Light that had escaped through the trees' long arms and fingers no longer existed.  The soft sounds of birds almost made a song of mourning and shivers began to convulse down my spine.  My whole body was tingling as I fell to the ground...

I was soaked and the breeze caused me to shiver.I opened my eyes slightly and saw him.  His smile, the one I was missing every time I returned to our sanctuary had returned to his face.  Even if it was in ruins now from the storm, the makeshift roof destroyed, it still held the effect James had given to it.

I didn't believe it as I came into reality again.  I was dead now, and found it suprising that I ended up in heaven with James.  I always was told when you commit suicide; you destroyed the body called the "temple of Christ".  That you were destined for hell when you finally committed the act.  Unless James had arrived in Hell for some reason... but I was cold, not burning from scalding fires.  The ocean sounds reassured me I was in a safe haven.  The ocean?

I felt the ground again picking up a handful of sand.  I looked around me as I sat up and was on the edge of our sanctuary again, with a new addition; James was standing in front of me.  I screamed and he laughed the laugh I had lost to my subconsciouness long ago.  I sat on my knees in the center, as he stood on the opposite end of the wilting stem that stood in our way.  The flower that was fully wilted now, that had lost its flower itself very recently.  I stared back up at James, crying.

"You're dead!"  I cried aloud, feeling a rising force in me that told me I was about to go into hysterics again.  "How are you here?! I saw you leave!"  He made a step closer and he tried to reach out to me, but all I felt was a cold feeling where he touched my face, as if I laid my head against dry ice.  His face was slightly filled with disappointment as I buried my face into my hands.  Only to hide the anguish and pain that had sown itself across my face.

"Sarah, I'm here.  I know I am!  I saved you; my soul is here, in a true form!  Just believe..."  I looked at him, wanting to, but he died so long ago in the storm that haunts me every night and gives me nightmares.  I failed to believe it as tears streamed down my face, causing the coldness of my cheek to rise with heat again.  I wanted to show him something, to force him to believe he really had left my life.  I pointed to the flower, and as I did I stared at it, in awe.  It had begun to glow, a golden wave running up it, as my tears fell onto the stem.  The flower bloomed into this gold color, leaving the inside silver where the pollen would normally be.  I continued to cry not understanding what it meant, but failed to breath once I felt warmth around me.  I tried to breath, knowing I've done it plenty of times to know how to work my lungs but I hadn't the strength, nor the skill to.  I just waited for the skill to come to me as I succumbed to the warmth around me.  The muscular arms that failed to let me go, and that had longed to be where they were now.

I looked up to the being that held me and stared into his wood grained eyes once more.  He smiled and like the wind had carried his voice to my ears, said, "See?  I'm right here, by your side, and I'm never going to leave you again."  His lips slowly fell down to mine and we locked into a slow kiss, to keep the moment alive.  To keep alive what we had lost for so many months that had simply passed along as we drifted apart.  To continue this game of being together of going to our tasks that were simple, mindless jobs that soon became a treasured moment each and every day.

This was my serenity I had owned.

This was my serenity that I longed to bring back.

This was my serenity, in James' arms.

Submitted: July 01, 2008

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