Fallow Yarn

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
''moths surround me..''

Submitted: September 05, 2010

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Submitted: September 05, 2010

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Fallow yarn
 
There are a thousand moon-flecked gnats tonight I feel I must contain within some airless jar, so I can pull them all apart and examine every working. And there’s a sudden disarray, the accumulation of these mistake-made years heaped up to my throat where my faint new plans start yielding to my failure howled out everywhere and the way I tiredly crease under today’s new revelations. I’m so sick of discerning his motives and untying the past and coming to realise I’m worthless all over again. Fawn wont you stop trying to understand this, I’m so tired of these endless answers and all this new fear each resolve brings. I’m just undoing myself and there are days when it seems I could lie still and dead like reams of fallow yarn. 
Now everything crashes down and stuns me sober and I look upon my sorry state, and how all I was did suffer, and I’m really left with nothing and I don’t know how to claw it back. Though I’m consigned to detaching, it’s all there is to do I repeat, I shake nonetheless with the fear you’ll discard me and replace my faith in you with another’s. But I know I’ll be alone then, removed from you entirely yet I can’t accept I’m so easily replaceable. Keep me a while longer, there’s nothing else, I can’t resign to nothing. I can’t accept that all my losses lead to nothing but my failures. See me small and inconsolable with my fire-fly jar, and I’ve failed. I’ve wasted all I had.


© Copyright 2019 Alex Jose. All rights reserved.

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