There is faith in me
There is a feeling of faith in me tonight and of strength I am very scared of. And I am submitting to timid flames of confusion as my eyes sting wetly, it’s all they’ve known but I don’t
think I hate nor need you now. There are tight thoughts in my throat and there’s an idea of my future I am now accepting somehow; and I think I understand you. You are many miles away and I am
very small without you yet in the way I’m craning skyward I am sure one day I’ll grow. There is a quiet tonight so clearly terrifying It is freeing me slowly of everything clammy and clayed; and in
the hush, with my stomach and skull separate and empty my limbs react to tender commandeering all my own. With my unending love newly simplified and for your sustenance, this I cannot
renounce, I can feel our souls brushing understanding. There is the glorious tie of our minds and the animal things found within us and tonight I am infantile and afraid, for I feel you loosening
the wires that keep me your bird and for now I’m unbound and alone.
When you went away this time I made it real and I watched you go with a fear I might scream something stupid. And I felt the wind shove on by to fawn in your gait as I stood still a moment to
sense every inch of me sigh. I did not think I’d come back from that sleep-tugging exhalation, thinking this would come one day so I’d be all big boned and stony veneered. But I regressed to blue
wide eyes and awe. There is that same flood of air in me tonight and it hurts, but not in the old aching way when I curled on the floor and pulsed very timeless and raw. There is the press of
forgiveness in the way my old hands rest overlapping and awkward. I think now I forgive you and tonight I’m infused with faith and fragmented hope; and I forgive myself. There is something very
hard to bear in this, the transmute of my super will to detach, and this does leave me very small and nearly nothing. But for tonight at least, I see you separate now, washed out with this new
silver air and I am losing the taut grip of salt.
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