! Warning ! Free Thought Ahead ! : Questions For Evolutionists and Atheists

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic


Before I get on my rant, I want to make clear that I am totally biased here, this is not an even-handed analysis and I am not trying to attack anyone in particular, except for morons, that all me.

These are some questions that me or other atheists/evolutionists have been asked on several occasions. These are the short ones, not the questions that actually have some scientific basis, but the ones less then intelligent people will ask in an argument. Some people think these are stumpers, and think that they completely prove their side is correct. This is probably going to offend some people I'm not attacking religious people on the whole, just the stupid ones. And if you are offended, believe me when I say I DONT CARE. Some of these questions are sort of competent, most are just plain idiotic. Ill get to the ones with some actual reason and thought behind them in the future.

Begin with the ranting already!

Questions/arguments to Evolutionists and the answers to said questions

Question #1: Why are the planets round?

Okay, this is not necessarily an evolution question but its in the ballpark of the general idea. All planets, solid or gas are spherical, you don't see any cube or potato shaped planets (yes I know about planetoids, but they are not technically planets so they don't fall into this category.). Why are the planets round? One word: Gravity. Simple no? Planetary bodies with extremely large mass, like earth or Michel Moor, are surrounded by a gravitational field, pulling everything in their gravity well inwards equally. This pulls in the mass that makes up the planet equally on all sides, making a spherical shape. But then you ask: “what about mountains and valleys?”, Well gravity does not have an absolute pull, it has a room for a good amount of “give”. This allows for mountains and other topographical features to form, but these have a limit. Objects that cause too much of a deviation in the features will be crushed by the force of gravity, this is why we don't see sixty mile tall mountains or skyscrapers extending into space, as cool as that would be. Also, most planets are not perfectly spherical, take earth, witch, due to centrifugal force, is actually slightly wider at the equator. Now that that is out of the way, on to the monkeys!

Question #2: If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys around?

This comment question stems more from a misunderstanding of the mechanisms of evolution then anything else. In evolution, species do not evolve from others, getting better with each evolution. Humans did not evolve from monkeys or other primates, but from a common ancestor. People often think of evolution as a straight line, with humans on the top and lower beings at the bottom, but is more like a tree with many branches that split and fork as species evolve. Humans are not at the top of the evolutionary chain, we are just another species in the family of primates. Like chimpanzees, our closes cousins, a long time ago, our common ancestor split into these two groups, creating two different but still smiler species.

Question #3: Why has a chimpanzee never given birth to a man?

Before I begin, may I please request that anyone who thinks that this is a legitimate question please go get a vasectomy to protect future generations. I am not bullshitting you here, this is a real question that has been asked, but thankfully, only rarely. First off, it is impossible for one species to give birth to another, it just does not work like that. And again, that is not how the theory of evolution works, this is not pokemon! It takes place over very long periods of time, with the passing on of genetic traits and DNA. Now that I think of it, do I really need to answer this question? Seriously!

Question #4: A painting had a painter, so the universe had a maker.

This argument is one of the worst I have ever heard, how could one compare a paining to the whole frigging universe? This argument proves nothing, I'm sorry but you will have to better then that. We can see an artist create a painting, but that has no application to the universe and existence. Moving on.

Question #5: Have you ever seen a mountain form?

No I have not, that is impossible to do with ones bare eyes. Did you see god create mountains? No? Didn't think so

Question #6 Why doesn't new life show up in a jar of peanut butter?

Evolution does not create life, it changes and alters it genius. A jar of peanut butter does not contain really any of the things for life to form out of thin air. Bacteria can get in from the outside and multiply inside of it, but it does not have anything that life needs to begin independently.

Question# 7: If the big bang started as a singularity... who held up the singularity?

Nobody “held up” the singularity, a singularity does not need to be held unless it was begin affected by gravity, witch does not happen in most cases.

Question #8: If a monkey gave birth to a man, who would he (or she) mate with?

I thought I explained this already. A monkey can not give birth to a monkey man! I'm sorry this question is just to stupid to warrant an answer.

Question #9: How can you explain Gravity? s

g = 9.8 m/s2 = 32.2 ft/s2 This is the basic equation for the strength of a gravitational field, Gravitation is a natural phenomenon by which objects with mass attract one another. In everyday life, gravitation is most commonly thought of as the agency which lends weight to objects with mass. Gravitation compels dispersed matter to coalesce, thus it accounts for the very existence of the Earth , the Sun, and most of the macroscopic objects in the universe. For more please see Newtons Law of Universal Gravitation and the general theory of relativity.

Question #10: If the world is billions of years old, then why is it only 2008?

Because the format for measuring years was based on the B.C. (before Christ) /A.D (After the death of Christ). System, or what is commonly now being replaced by BCE/CE. (before Common error/ Common error). We live in 2008 CE, but there where trillions of years of the earth before that, even a grade schooler could answer this.

Question #11: If I throw dirt up in the air, what are the odds it will fall into the formation of a living man?

The chances that it would fall into the shape of a man are astronomically small, for it t form an actually living and breathing man? So impossible that the chances of it would go into the negative percentile if it where possible.

Question #12: I can't see electricity. Therefore an invisible god exists!

We can see that electricity exists, and we can see electricity with certain kinds of equipment, even static electricity is visible to the naked eye. I remember when my tabby would crawl under my blanket when I was a kid, it was a rough shaggy cover and when he walked under it, I could see blue static leap from hi to the conductive blanket. And even if electricity was totally invisible, we can still see its immediate effects that can be clearly attributed to the electricity.

Question #13: Science changes, Genesis is perfect.

Of course science changes, that is what science does. Science is not about taking a conclusion , making it an absolute and trying to prove it right no matter what. In science we take hypotheses based on notions and a spot of observation occasionally. Then we take this hypothesis and test it in controlled situations, then base our findings off of the products of the experiments. The theory of evolution has undergone many changes in in various areas as we learn more, find evidence, and even disprove previously standing notions. Science is not a thing of absolutes like genesis. Genesis is a flat out explanation, and absolute definition of that idea of the origin of life. Science is rooted in change, in the proving and disproving of a set of hypotheses, witch in time may become law of theory.

Question #14: Evolution is only a theory

Yes evolution is a theory, kind of like gravity, a soler centric solar system, water displacement and plate tectonics. People often misuse theory as a synonym for hypothesis, and in common usage it is seen as an educated guess. In science and mathematics however, this is not the case. A theory refers to a comprehensive explanation of an important feature of nature that is supported by many facts gathered over time, and is distinct from scientific conjecture and hypotheses.

Question #15: The holy bible is the truth, because the bible says it's the truth.

So do plenty of other holy books and scriptures. If I wrote a book saying that pigs where green and spoke French and that we where all created by giant squids that live in trees, and then said the the aforementioned bullocks was true, would that make it true? No. if something says it true because of X data and scientist groups A, B and C had confirmed it, then it could hold itself up.

Question #16: Evolution is a religion, and science leads to killing people.

Evolution has no religious elements to it, Origin of the Species is not a holy book and Richard Dawkins is not the reincarnation of Darwin. Evolution is based in science, and if it was based in faith, no one would believe in it. And when as science killed anyone? I'm not gonna point fingers but, *cough*crusades*cough*.

Question #17: Scientists around the world are all jointly involved in a conspiracy against god!

Okay you got us there.

Question #18: Banana's are perfectly shaped for the human hand, designed.

Thats not the only thing they are perfectly shaped for if you get my meaning, heh heh. This is not enough evidence to prove anything, a piece of fruit, just wont cut it. If it had finger grips then I might be interested, but the shape of a fruit is not going to cut it.

Question #19: Millions of years for a monkey to turn into a man? Monkey's don't live that long.

No they do not, I suggest you pick up a science textbook. Ive said it once and Ill say it again, thats not how evolution works! A species evolves by the passing on of genetic traits from generation to generation.

Thats all! There are probably more but I have already taken up almost 4 pages here so I'm gonna stop. And for you creationists out there on booksie, I hope you are smarter then the people who say these things, they give religious folk a bad name. I hope you enjoyed my rant, but if you did not, I don't care. And now I leave you all with one last question that I hope will perk you up

Question #20: Why would a man ever want to have sex with a monkey?

Well I would not want to, but if thats what you are into....

Submitted: October 13, 2008

© Copyright 2021 alex wolff. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


alex wolff

for the record, i am not attacking anyone, just awnsering the questions i have been asked. dont blow any gaskets please.

Tue, October 14th, 2008 5:44am


I am just glad you brought it back buddy. Good for you.

Wed, October 15th, 2008 3:31am



Tue, October 14th, 2008 8:33pm

Daemonic Resplendence

clever and funny. :)
wanna see something irritating? godhatesgoths.com.
It's strange... how stupid can two men be?

Wed, October 15th, 2008 10:29am


very stupid, thanks for reading.

Wed, October 15th, 2008 8:46am


Let me just start off by saying I'm Catholic. Now before you close this and think 'here we go again', I am not offended at all. I know we have a history of being evasive when asked questions, and not supporting our beliefs with logical arguements. And you're totally right, these questions were totally stupid! I'm ashamed to call these people family (though I have to love them anyway because of the whole 'love everyone' thing). As for our beliefs, almost everything we go by (just like science) is a theory. Does it mean it's correct? No, not at all. I'm sure you knew this already. ;)I really liked this 'rant' and I hope you post more.
PS-In my family I have people who are unbaptized christians, wiccans, and atheists so I totally respect anything you believe and if we were ever to get into an arguement about any of this, I swear that I will do my best to be logical and not stupid. If I don't know the answer to a question, I'll tell you. And I love arguing things like this.
Oh, look, I've gone and written a frickin novel here. I'm gonna leave now to save your eyes and brain.
Take care, really good (and funny) work.

Fri, October 24th, 2008 3:27am


thank you for your feedback, i know not all religious people are a bunch of bilbe thumping morons, and i have some very good friends who are religious. i always respect and appriciate another opnions. and ill get right on your novel as soon as i have the time, thaks for reading!

Thu, October 23rd, 2008 8:30pm


I went to godhatesgoth.com.
Just when I thought the world couldn't get any stupider.
Good rant by the way. Caffine, or lack of sleep?

Sun, October 26th, 2008 5:36pm


both, and all i had to eat was like three pop-tarts. thanks for reading.

Sun, October 26th, 2008 12:42pm


Wow... people actually asked these questions?

(BTW, if anything in nature is shaped to our hands or features, it's because we evolved around it. The one furry monkey thing with an opposable thumb survived better and passed on traits, so on and so forth... you know the story. If anything, you could use that arguement to argue evolution even more strongly!)

Fri, October 31st, 2008 9:43pm


i just awnsered the questions as they came, they are real, unfortunately. and your right, the whole banana thing is hypocritical, you really know your stuff, thank for reading!

Fri, October 31st, 2008 2:46pm


Nice Rant, Some of those questions man, I dunno. Some Catholics out there just give me images in my head. Don't ask...

I'm definitely sure Religion has killed a lot more people than Science.

Once again, A great and hilarious rant, I hope to see some more soon.

Thu, November 6th, 2008 9:31am


mabey once i finish my cosmic ray we can even the odds, lol joking. i agree with you, thnaks for reading.

Thu, November 6th, 2008 7:16am


Thought u might want to read my newest rant, called "What the world has become" hope you enjoy.. hehe

Fri, November 14th, 2008 12:52am


OMG! LOL, ok sorry...haha people seriously ask that stuff?

Question #17: Scientists around the world are all jointly involved in a conspiracy against god!

Okay you got us there.

I can't say that ones right, but this was increadibly funny. I'm so used to seeing so much in-depth evidence of things that this completely caught me off guard. Of, course both sides have their clues to how the world started and you can't truly say one is false until you study both sides. Many Christains only study the bible, and many scientists only study science.

Sun, January 11th, 2009 8:04pm


i have read the bible in order to understand both sides, and this is mainly for humor.

Sun, January 11th, 2009 4:42pm


yes, I am not suprised you have, but unlike a science book, things are not as literal in the bible. You musn't read it but study it. Traslations change and distort, words mean different things in the past than they do now. There are even many parts in the bible that only true christians can fully comprehend, therefore the bible can not be completely understood by those who do not belive it. That is why many christains are willing to take the critisism thrown at them every day, it is merely becuase they know only others of their religion understand them. That is why church is so pupular, the bible calls it a time to worship with others of similar belief.

Tue, January 13th, 2009 12:39am


i know that, its mostly metaphors for messages and i did not get some of it but i thought it importaint to understand other schools of thoght/belifes/religions.

Mon, January 12th, 2009 6:46pm


oh, well thats smart of you. Its great your willing to learn about other religious positions, I rpobrably need to research a bit more than I have been doing lately.

Oh, and btw the story "Assasin's language" is actually very....well...old, as you can probrably tell by the counltess errors and odd grammar, I'm very happy you read it. I'm going to re-write it tommorow, make the plot just a bit more logical, correct grammar...add spacing...all of it of course.

Tue, January 13th, 2009 4:14am


what is this grammer you speak of?

Mon, January 12th, 2009 8:25pm

Raul Gallo

Humans didn't evolve from apes, or monkeys. The elusive creature that we evolved from hasn't been found or solidly been identified... yet. But that does not automatically debunk evolution. There are still thousands of species out there, unknown to us.

Thu, July 9th, 2009 10:17pm


okay, your entitles to your opinion

Fri, August 21st, 2009 1:38pm

Raul Gallo

Also, you make some really good points.

Thu, July 9th, 2009 10:19pm


hmm interesting :) and sort of funny i mean where did those questions come from i mean why would people want to know stuff like that *sighs*both religion and science confuse me :P you are right to investigate both ^^ maybe neither are right :P haha :) sorry im only joking i deeply respect people that believe religion and science etc obv i believe in science and i haven't really read the bible so maybe i can't judge religion not that i do wow ive just designed my own rant :) thanks for the read !!

Sun, September 13th, 2009 1:15am


thank you

Sun, September 13th, 2009 9:14am

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