Everyday Day After Day

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
A girl diagnosed with major depression

Submitted: April 04, 2015

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Submitted: April 04, 2015

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Everyday in the morning

She desperately grabs onto the wisps of sleep that

Escapes through her frantic fingers

The futile fight leaving her wide awake in the crude artificial light

With the same morning greeting of ‘I wish I was dead’

 

Every day at school

She puts on a smile and laughs when expected to

Show interest and engage in conversations

When she doesn’t give a care

Try to focus on the words that she hears but can’t listen to

But because of the belief that she has imbedded

Into the depth of her soul

Her duty to serve other and keep them happy

No matter what

The false mistaken as the truth

She pretends all day as if everything is alright

Even though her mind is preoccupied with thoughts of being home

Where she isn’t in the eyes of the public

Even though her heart is filled with anxiety

That she fears will lead to panic attacks

And maybe a gateway for her nightmare to come true in reality

The dream where she suddenly breaks down in the middle of class

In a flurry of hysteria and tears

Choked up screams of insanity

As her secrets tumble out uncontrollably

Through her chapped lips and dry mouth

She lives with fear in her eyes

That everyone sees but never really looks at

They don’t notice how her eyes have changed

How they used to speak

Now mute and desolate

 

Every day in the comfort of her bed

She’s exposed to danger

She tries to quickly drown in her fatigue

Let the crushing waves drag her to the

Bottom of her consciousness

But sometimes the sea is calm and gently

And by that time it’s too late

And instead she drowns in her demons

Of suicide and sharp tongues

And once again to taste her bittersweet life

She sacrifices her flesh and blood

As a temporary treaty that will keep her safe

For just today

Leaving her torn inside and out

Empty and numb

Dazed with the faint pulse of her broken heart

Neglected for too long

Too hard

But will never learn to love every piece of her

Every part

 

Day after day

Her condition worsens

Her road to recovery grows slimmer every hour

Falling deeper into a world created by her delusions

Of artificial beauty

Because of the happy pills her body hungers

Her mind thirsts for

And to quench these demands

She finally ends it all

And sends her demons back home

Along with her soul


© Copyright 2020 AlexandraAlexGates. All rights reserved.

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