Hole in One

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Detectives Dick Tuggs and Davie Croquet pose as the staff of an exclusive golf club in order to bring down corrupt millionaires Miles Sanderson and Willard Mullberg.

Submitted: March 27, 2014

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Submitted: March 27, 2014



Hole in One

by Alexis Kypridemos


Detective Richard "Dick" Tuggs posed as the caddy of Miles Sanderson, the elderly millionaire, who was suspect of financial foul play. Sanderson took the putting iron from Tuggs' hand and crouched over to putt. He swung lightly, sending the ball into the hole ten feet away.

"Oh, nice shot," said Willard Mullberg, Sanderson's equally aged partner, from his golf cart.

"Thank you, Willard," Sanderson said, straightening up. "You know, I've heard a rumor that Vulton's stock will drop five dollars and twenty cents -approximately- this coming Monday. Just a rumor." He and Mullberg grinned smugly, delighting in the knowledge that they were getting away with a crime.

"Excuse me, but was that insider information?" Tuggs asked. The question was for the benefit of the lapel microphone hidden inside his shirt collar and the sound recorder back at the clubhouse.

The two old men's expression dropped simultaneously.

"Of course it's insider information," Sanderson snapped. "Why the hell else do you think I pay twenty-five grand to be a member of this place? So I can get a bad back and wear this faggy outfit?"

"OK, boys, we got it," Tuggs said into his collar mic.

Tugg's partner, Detective David "Davie" Croquet, burst out of the clubhouse, disguised as a waiter, and led a pack of SWAT troops onto the golf course.

"You're ruining the green!" Mullberg cried, as the half dozen SWAT cops pounded holes into the finely trimmed lawn with their boots. They all piled onto Sanderson.

Tuggs drew his sidearm on Mullberg.

"Get out of the cart and place you hands where I can see th-"

"Screw that," Mullberg said and hit the gas. His golf cart whined away.

"H-H-Help me," Sanderson groaned, and reached out from under the mound of SWAT cops. Tuggs took the putting iron from Sanderson's outstretched hand and ran after the golf cart.

Mullberg had his foot on the floor of the golf cart and the steering wheel in a white-knuckled death grip, but Tuggs caught up with the golf cart jogging lightly. He swung the putting iron at Mullberg, smacking him right in the kisser.

Mullberg's dentures shot out of his mouth as he fell out of the cart onto the grass. The cart rolled away on its own. Tuggs jumped on Mullberg, planting his knee in the middle of the old man's back and handcuffed him.

The dentures slid out of the sand pit, skipped across the artificial pond, and landed in the tenth hole. Mullberg's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "Hole in one!"


The End


"Hole in One" is part of "Fiction Fix," a collection of 46 short, funny stories, plus 196 bonus micro fiction budget stories, available at www.fiction-fix.com.

© Copyright 2019 Alexis Kypridemos. All rights reserved.

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