Another One That Got Away

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

I've loved and lost... a lot. Now I feel like I lose him every day...

When you break up with a boy it's ment to end.

This didn't end.

He is everywhere I look. His childish smile and nonchalent brown hair that he obviously hasn't touched for a lifetime. His tall, looming build and his worn hands. Somehow I just notice him and everything he does. People tell me he isperfect for me, but I know he won't take me back - and I don't exactly blame him. He hurts me, puts me on the wrong path and misleads me in every imaginable way.

But somehow I'm addicted to his touch. I love it when he plays with my hair and I love it when he teases me or jokes with me. I love it when he looks into my eyes as he talks to me. I love it when he wraps his arms around my shoulders and waist. I love that I can tell him everything. I love telling him what I hate and what I love; what I like to wear and what's a faux pas; what I will eat and what I won't touch; what I need and what I want.

I always ask myself why I left him. I can never answer myself. I wish I believed in a God, then maybe he'd tell me what I'd done wrong and what - if anything - I'd done right. Maybe some sort of heigher power would be able to change me, make me what he wants. Maybe he'll know what he wants?

Now though, my friend loves him. I can't deny her the right to love him, but it hurts so hard when I see them together. When he plays with her hair and when he teases or jokes with her. When he looks into her eyes as he talks to her. When he wraps his arms around her shoulders and waist. When he tells her everything...

Its at times like this that I want to give up on love. It seems so shallow and pointless right now, but I'm sure that as soon as I see hischildish smile tomorrow it will bring back that infantile infatuation again and I'll believe in love again.

Maybe I shouldn't? Or maybe I should?

I don't know anymore...


Submitted: November 16, 2011

© Copyright 2021 Alice Bell. All rights reserved.

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