A Very Verbose Gentleman

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Please comment. Want a quick read? Read it! Not for those vocabularily challenged. It was just an excersize for a writing class i'm taking.

Submitted: January 20, 2009

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Submitted: January 20, 2009

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“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.”
-Aristotle
 
But to be a realist, this job was more absorbed and degrading than all of the others combined. It was filled with greed, violence, selfishness, all of these tantamount to remorse. I was intelligent enough to fulfill my duties. I don’t think anyone would fail to coincide with that fact. My “intelligence” radiated through my verbosity. To the majority of the sordid citizens of England I sounded garbled, or as some would call it, speaking of a different lexicon. Only a select few were even close to being analogous with me on those terms and those select few would dine together on Wednesday evenings, enjoying fine cuisine and incessant borings. I stopped going when I was seventeen. It was a gentleman’s lifestyle to sit on velvet chairs and fight over the same jingoistic views. The women would be in the parlor, discussing with dignity… the worth of one urn over the next. To be forward, I didn’t care much for persnickety women and old-fangled men. I was raised into that existence but I refused to live it. Growing up, I was coerced into becoming a veneer of my true self, to sit idly by, not even remotely interested in the gentlemen’s twaddle, yet forced to emulate their behavior.Until one day, with incredulous aplomb and much dissolution… I cracked. Perhaps it was the monotony, perhaps it was how incredibly irked I was, but I set fire to that tea party. Not literally, of course, but tangentially with my familiar vigor, charisma. They bantered for hours… and I sat there impishly watching the maudlin group siphon off as they turned and left livid. The wives returned from the parlor, shocked at the incendiary before them. When they inquired of the event I pussyfooted around truth. Not even I, who had started the disorder, could divulge what had just happened. I was too far gone, my mercurial nature had released itself. With my knavish intelligence, I had accomplished the impossible and changed my fate. To say that I felt like gloating was an understatement. Sick with my new found freedom, I changed my stars completely. I turned into someone I once despised. I accumulated so many sins in the next few years that even decades of church and studies of psalmody were hopeless for me now. Stealing, murdering, lusting, I wasn’t even a ghost of my former self. When it seemed I had finally reached the node of my brutality, I joined the Liberty and the Amity. It was by leagues, the greatest decision of my life. I couldn’t believe it was possible to change your stripes twice, but I did. If I told you that I became a better man as a pirate, you wouldn’t believe me, yet the truth was undeniable. When I served under Captain Jacobs I no longer fought for myself, but for my friends. 


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