This is the opening of a story I started awhile ago. Thoughts?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Action and Adventure  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is just the opening of a story I started, I would like some feedback on it. Should I post what I have? Would anyone be interested in reading the rest?
There will be some romance, cuz.. I'm a chick and like some of that. But there will be fighting, war, loss, friends and enemies made. Not so much drama based.
But, let me know what you think.

Submitted: December 07, 2011

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Submitted: December 07, 2011

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Tales about the golden days, were becoming more and more longingful in the land of Myrana. Days where the five great kingdoms traded and shared their incredible skills and works. They were told in hushed voices, as if proclaiming them too loud would put a curse on the speaker. The golden days were.. Just that.. Golden... Wondrous... Beautiful... But most of all.. Peaceful... It was the very height of Myrana's glory! But... Sadly.. All good things must end..  The shared power of the five kingdoms weren't enough for some.. The Onyx Planes and Ruby Desert both wanted more then they were getting through friendly, honest trade. So, they did something about it, they teamed up and ruined the trade system. All it took to destroy hundreds of years worth of friendly trade.. Was a few.. Well planned out deaths.. The assassination of six powerful business men threw a supposedly perfect trade system into ruins.. And allies and loyalties were abandoned and betrayed. The peaceful people of the Diamond Mountains and Emerald Forests slipped away into their well hidden homes, in near impossible lands to map out. Onyx and Ruby ended up clashing for land. The war stricken and charred land they left in the wake of their fighting killed thousands of innocent people, leaving an even greater number of people without food or home.. Everyone was effected.. And with the Diamond and Emerald counsel and court refusing to stop the two waring factors.. There wasn't much that could be done. But that didn't mean the Sapphire Islands were about to stand back and watch the death and destruction rage on in the land they had spent years trading, befriending and creating families with and along side. They tried to intersect in the warring.. After over fifty years of gruesome fights, dangerous meetings and thousands of sorrowful deaths.. The waring came to a shaky stop.. For a short while.. Until once again Onyx and Ruby made a deal.. And turned their war thirsty gazes to the Sapphire Islands..


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