Katniss everdeen

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

disclaimer: I do not own the hunger games.
what happens when Gale comes back to district twelve twenty nine years after mockingjay? read on and find out.
this is the sequal to gale hawthorn, it dosen't matter which order you read them in though.

Cinnick comes running down the stair, Peeta following him as he tries to get Cinnick out of his pajamas into proper clothes.
"No daddy! I want to stay in my PJ's!" He yells, running through the living room, their both laughing.
"Cinnick, you have to get dressed!" Peeta tries to reason.
"No!" Cinnick squeals, before ducking behind a chair.
"Cinn come on," I say "you want to go right?"
"Yes." He says, peeping out from behind the chair.
"Then you have to get dressed" I tell him.
He's going to his friends house for a play date later. Its always impossible getting him dressed no matter where we're going though.
"Fine" He grumbles, knowing he can't go unless he's in clothes.
Peeta takes his hand and they go back upstairs.
"Mom, how does this look?" Prue asks, holding up the drawing shes doing for her art class. The project was to draw what their house looks
like. She's done fairly well on it, shes always been artistic, got that from her father, because I can't draw. I'm a little worried about what the class will think of this drawing of our home, our home in the victors village is bigger then most of the homes in the town, my kids live in better, fancier houses then the other kids. I'm afraid they'll wonder why. And then I'd have to tell them all about it...
I shake my head, getting rid of the thought. "Good, its vary pretty" I tell her with a smile.
She beams up at me and goes back to coloring in the driveway in the picture.
"Cinnick!" Peeta calls as they both come flying down the stairs again "you have to let me comb your hair!"
"Nooo!" Cinnick wails as he runs into the kitchen.
"Katniss help!" Peeta begs
I giggle and get up to help him. I go to the other exit to the kitchen while Peeta stays at the one Cinnick went through. We both go in at the same time, cornering him.
"Dang it!" Cinnick moans when we come in, and slouches to the floor with a huff. He's so cute when he says this.
I go back to the living room while Peeta and Cinnick continue to argue.
I sit down and lean over Pure's shoulder to watch her drawing.
"Whats that?" I ask, pointing to a blank spot in one of the windows.
"That's going to be me looking outside"
"Oh, vary nice." I approve.
Cinnick finally comes out of the kitchen, all dressed and ready to go later. Peeta follows, but then stops and looks down the hall to the front door.
"What?" I ask
"I think someones here" he tells me, then goes to get it.
I hear the door squeak open and voices,  Peetas and another man, but their both quiet and I can't make out what their saying. Then I hear the screen door close and Peeta coming back. Cinnick is running around with his toy hovercraft now, pretending he's flying it. He runs in a zig zagging line down the hall.
"Who is it?" I ask Peeta.
He looks annoyed, maybe unhappy.
"You have a visitor." He says.
"Who?" I ask, still not moving.
"Your old best friend."
Its takes me a moment to realize who he means. Then I blink up at him a few times. I hear cinnick greeting 'my visitor' down the hall.
"What is he doing here?" I sneer at Peeta
"I don't know!" He says, holding up his hands. "He just asked if you were here"
Prue gets up to go see to.
"Who is it Cinn?" I hear her ask.
A few seconds later Cinnick comes running down the hall.
"Mommy, who is he?" He asks "he says hes an old friend"
"um..." I think of how to answer him "he was, hes not anymore. Why don't you just stay here"
"Okay" Cinnick says and flops down on the couch.
"What do I do?" I ask Peeta.
"Go talk to him" He suggests
"I don't want to talk to him!" I complain.
"Well, I have a feeling hes not going to leave until you do"
I sigh. I'm not ready for this. Peeta wraps his arms around me in a hug, and I reach up to kiss his lips.
"You'll be fine. Just tell him your not interested in talking"
"Fine" I grumble
"Prue, can you come here?" Peeta calls down the hall.
I hear Prue's footsteps coming, and I turn the corner into the hall just as she is. I lay my hand on her head for a quick second and keep moving. There he is, standing outside the door. My anger starts to peek, then it slowly declines. I missed him. More then anyone can ever know. So when I step outside and shut the screen door behind me, I turn to face him, my words come out sounding more hostile then I meant, because I'm trying to hold back the emotions rising to the surface.
"What are you doing here Gale?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I had to see you." He says quietly.
"Well, I here. What do you want?" I snap
"I want to talk"
"talk then" I growl at him.
For a second he says nothing, just looks ashamed. Then he says shyly
"hi."
And like that, all my anger goes away. To hear him, sounding so afraid of me, makes me feel bad.
"Hi." I sigh, and uncross my arms.
Theres a long awkward silence. Neither of us know what to say. So we stand there, trying to find anything else to look at but each other.
"Look, Gale. I'm happy to see you. But... I don't know why you came. What do you want?" I ask, this time actually wanting to know.
"I honestly don't know. I just want to talk for a bit. Can we go for a walk?" He asks with hope in his voice.
I consider this. I would like to go for a walk with him. I want to catch up. But I'm worried about why he came. What he wants.
"Please" he adds in a hushed voice.
I can't say no now. But I pretend to think for a second longer.
"Fine, give me a sec." I say before disappearing into the house again.
I go to the closet and get my hunting boots on.
"Peeta, I'm going out" I call.
"With him?" he asks.
"Yes" I sigh. I duck into the living room quickly and peck him on the lips "I promise I wont be long. Actually, I might check the snares after he leaves."
"Okay." he agrees reluctenly.
I go back down the hall and step outside.
Gale follows by my side as I lead through the town, towards the forest. I still enter the same place I use to, mostly because its the only part of the fence with a small gate. They put that up when they repaired the fence years ago. Since its no longer illegal to hunt or leave the district. I open the gate and gale comes in behind me. All through town we haven't said a word. Once we're in the safety of my trees I ask
"how have you been?"
"Okay. You?"
"Good. Good" I respond.
Its silent for a few more moments as we walk through the trees. Its uncomfortable and awkward. And I know, nothing can ever be the same between us. Its just not possible.
"So, um, whats it like in district two?" I ask, just for something to fill the silence. I already know most of what hes been doing in district two.
"Its nice. I have a job and stuff." He says. Already knew that much.
"Are you married?" I have to ask, I have to know. If he is, great. If he isn't, I'm a little worried.
"No." he answers flatly. Though he looks embarrassed.
"Oh..."
He never got over me. I hurt him to deeply. Or maybe he just loved me to much. He loved me, and I was a fool with it. I played games, and I couldn't make up my mind. I hurt him so bad with all of that stupidness. The pain I caused him never left my mind. I still think about it some times. I still feel horrible. But I had hoped that he'd found some girl, that he loved, that loved him back. And that he wasn't still thinking about me. But that apparently isn't the case.
"How about you? I mean... I see your married. But the kids. How about them?" He asks, not sure of how to phrase the question.
"Oh yeah. Well, Cinnick is seven. Prue is twelve. their great."
Twelve. When she turned twelve I had just about exploded with joy. Not because she was getting older. Or because this was a good age or any thing of the sorts. Just because shes twelve, and she'll never have her name in a reaping ball. Twelve was the age that meant that before. But her and Cinnick will never go through that. This year she will not stand in a crowd and pray not to be chosen to die. She never will.
"Good. How did you name them?" He asks conversationally.
"Well, we fiddled around with names from our past, Cinnick is a mix of Cinna and Finnick. Prue is Prim and Rue."
I see shock register on his face. Everyone who knows me had the same reaction. They all thought the names would hurt me to much. I'll admit, maybe that's part of the reason I named them those. Everyone tried to convince me other whys, saying that it would haunt me even worse if I had to hear their names everyday. Maybe I stuck with those names just to prove I could. That I was over it. That I was moving on, but not forgetting.
"Oh."
And then something I was never planning to tell him. Never wanted him to know. Comes out of my mouth without warning "Cinnicks middle name is Gale."
Peeta had agreed to that fairly easily. Not exactly happy with it. But he wanted me to be happy. And when I told him that I wanted some kind of remembrance he agreed.
"Thank you" Gale says quietly.
"No problem. Pure's middle name is Johannie" I tell him, just to get off the subject of Cinnicks middle name.
"I like it"
I smile a little. We named her after Johanna Mason and Annie Odair. Both still alive. We see them sometimes. Annie more then Johnna. Annie has a beautiful son now. Looks just like his father. Johanna ended up marrying a boy from her home district and is pretty happy.
"So anyway..." I start the part that I need to get done with "what did you want to say?"
He thinks for a minute.
"First I... I think I should apologize."
Of course "okay." I nod.
"I'm sorry, for... everything. I should have just... let you go. But I had to make your life harder...and I'm sorry for what happened... in the Capitol."
"You didn't do it Gale. Coin did. And, it doesn't matter. I know you didn't drop it. So it doesn't matter." I sigh. It doesn't matter anymore. I've all but forgotten it. Sure there are nights when I wake up screaming. Actually most nights are like that. But in the day, in the light of the sun, surrounded by my family and happiness, its easy to forget. Yes, there are constant reminders, but I push them away until they fade into the background. But sometimes it doesn't work and I end up with tears falling from my eyes with the memories. But I'm getting better.
"Okay." He agrees.
For a few more minutes its silent. I wish we could just get on with this whole thing. I wish it was faster and less painful. I wish it wasn't so awkward. I wish things were the same as they use to be. Easy and efortless.
"Gale, I have to ask, why did you come?" I say to hurry things up.
"I had to see you. And I had to apologize. I just couldn't leave things the way they were anymore. I swear, I'm not trying to get you back, I'm done that. I just... want to be friends again. I miss you... Catnip." he says
My old nickname brings a smile to my lips. I haven't heard that in so long. Years. Peeta's nickname for me is 'Kitty Kat.' not nearly as cool as Catnip.
"I miss you to Gale. a lot. but, I don't know about this." I decide to go with the truth. This is impossible. getting all friendly with him again. it can only end badly. I don't want that. And he should know it.
"About what? About us talking? About us making up? What?!" He snaps.
"So much happened. So much... changed. I don't even know if we can be friends anymore." I say sadly.
"Well, we can try? Can't we? Whats stopping us?" He asks desperately.
"Its that you aren't over me Gale. I'm married now. I have kids. We're not teenagers anymore Gale! I've decided. I've moved on. But you haven't, and that's why I'm not sure about this!" I tell him harshly. I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk about this. But I know its going to happen.
His face fills with anger. Maybe not anger, hurt. Well hidden hurt, but I know him. Twenty nine years, and I still know when hes trying to cover up pain.
"Gale. Its not that I don't want to be friends again. I just don't think its possible." I try to sound softer.
"Yeah. Your probably right. You know, this... this whole thing was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come." He says, shaking his head.
"Gale, I'm happy to see you! I've wondered how you are, I'm happy to see that your good. That your okay. But I think that this should just be a one time thing. Maybe we can stay in touch. I don't know. But not friends." by the end I can barley get out a whisper. I'm chocking back tears with all my power. It's terrible to acknowledge it. Terrible to have to say its not possible. I'm not normally the kind to hide in delusion, but I didn't want to face that facts on this one. And now I've been forced to.
"No, your right!" He says with a stony expression. "Its not possible. I should leave! I mean, who am I to just show up at your door step and want us to be all buddy buddy again?" He turns and runs back the way we just came.
No! This cant happen. This cant end this way. Untied ends and broken promises. It cant end this way. Is all I can think.
"Gale!" I call loudly, sounding strangled.
"Never mind Katniss!" he calls back, still jogging away. I run to catch up with him.
"Gale!" I say again when I'm right behind him. "What do you want from me?!" I snap and I've done it. Any chance of this ending on a good note, down the drain. That's the one line you should never say when your trying to make up with someone.
"I don't know Katniss. I don't know." He shrugs.
"I agreed to talk to you! I forgave you! I said that we can stay in touch! But Gale! I'm a mother, I have priority's, I have little kids who need their mom to take care of them. I have a husband that loves me, and I love him! I can't just abandon that Gale! I can't get into something with you now, I cant start to like you that way again, because of those kids. and that husband. I just cant! And I know that if your around to much I will." It all comes bubbling out. Everything I feel about this meeting. Everything I've felt for a long time. All pouring out of my mouth in a long painful speech.
"And Gale, I don't want to hurt you anymore! I did in the past. I had almost forgotten it. I still feel bad about it though. I hurt you with my indecision and my anger, and all of it! I don't want to do that again! Why do you want to go through that again? You haven't moved on, and I have! So that's another problem. you still like me, and I don't like you that way anymore. So Gale. Maybe, when you've moved on we can try this again. But not now." I say, shaking my head at the end. This whole thing is horrible. This whole thing was stupid and worthlessly painful for the both of us. He's right, he shouldn't have come.
"Fine. I'm leaving then"
He runs faster now, away from me. I don't follow. I don't want to. Theres no chance of patching this up. Theres no way to make this better. we've both been hurt beyond repair and trying to fix it, isn't going to work.
I watch his silouet run through the trees until it disappears. Then I turn around and walk through the woods. The way we were going before. I get to my hunting spot. The shelter of rocks Gale and I use to sit at. I sit down there, just because I cant keep going. I should check the snares and go home. Home to Peeta and my kids. The people that matter in my life. But I cant right now. Not in this mood. They don't need to see me so shaken and upset.
I bury my head in my hands and fight to keep hold of everything coming up inside me. To force it down or away. Anywhere but in my mind.
 


Submitted: March 31, 2012

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CathyWriter1

Mon, April 16th, 2012 1:59am

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