Seeing Strange Stuff (3)
Short Story by: Alien Z
"No thanks, but thanks for the offer," I say curtly.
"C'mon, man!" He spat impatiently. "I think you'll really like her. Sachiko told me her friend's interested in you."
"She's my girl, dude," he claims. "Well, she will be mine if you bring your smelly ass on this date. Please?"
"Ask Leon instead," I suggest.
"No, you boob! Didn't you hear what I said? Her friend likes you."
"Who's her friend?" I ask curiously. What the heck did she see in me?
I have a feeling Bentely's making this up.
"I think her name was... erm, er... What was it again?" He ponders aloud. "Um... It was..."
"It doesn't matter," I say, waving the subject off. I don't have time for girls anyway. They only distract me. I need to be alert for whenever the black figure arrives. Something tells me he or she is behind everything that is wrong with me.
Or maybe I just like pinning the blame on someone else.
Bentely's laughter snaps me out of my thoughts. I frown. What's the joke?
"I remember her name now!" He laughs harder. "It's Jennifer Zipnutter!"
Naturally, my eyes widened and I could feel myself waiting to burst out. Not dirty... Not dirty at all.
"Whoa..." I say, momentarily feeling speechless.
"I know, dude. I know exactly what you're thinking."
"I... I kind of suspected this chick to be a bit off, but by fucking Jove I didn't know her parents hated her!" I exclaim, shaking my head and joining in with the laughter.
"She's a right old plonker too," he adds carelessly.
I stop laughing almost immediately. "Really? Definitely no to her then."
"Oh no, no, no!" He tries to hold back his laughter. "You're a nutter. She's a nutter. Perfect!"
"Tempting," I say sarcastically. "Very tempting."
"She's also seriously hot," he quickly chips in. "I'm not kidding you."
She's probably messed up. I'm not exactly a babe-magnet or whatever you call it, so I find this information very, very hard to believe.
"Trust me, bro."
"Tell her I'm flattered, but she can do better," I say.
He groans in frustration. "This whole seeing donkey crap has really fucked you up in the head. Bad. You can't even recognize when a golden opportunity is thrown your way. It's time to take a break, dude."
"What do you mean 'take a break'?"
"You need to get out of that haunted house. Get a hot girl to show you a good time. It'll help you get your mind off things."
"That's the problem," I say, feeling exasperated.
"I can't let some girl distract me. It will stop me from my... thoughts," I explain.
"Who cares about thoughts! You're too crazy, I swear, man. You're giving up a smoking hot girl just so you can think some bullpoop thoughts! What is going on with you? Idiot!"
"Bullpoop...?" I echo as I stifle my laughter. "Hey, if you love her so much, you have her."
"I already have a girl on me! I've been crushing on her for weeks! You have no idea how much this means to me. Please, dude, please say you'll agree. Heck, after all the things I do for you and the trouble I get-"
"Fine," I interrupt. "But you're paying."
He stays quiet for a while, and then mutters, "The things I do for Sachiko."
"Cheer up," I say snootily. "Things could have been worse. You could have ended up with a girl named Jennifer Zipnutter as your blind date."
And that's the end of our conversation. I shove my phone into my pocket after shutting it. I get up off my swivel chair and lay down on my bed.
Why do I have an awful feeling about all this?
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