pushing you....#5

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

5th installment to the "meeting you" series

i need to see you.

i just got off work, i have to cook, do laundry, then pass out.

but...i really need to see you. i didn't like the tone of your voice, it was disconcerting. it was somehow colder than normal.

um, well, okay. where do you want to meet? my palms broke out in a sweat. i hada bad feeling and i usually listened to the insistent, annoying voice in my gut.

you were sitting on the chair in the motel room. not the bed. this was bad. i closed the door and started to walk over to you. you raised a pale hand, never meeting my eyes. i sat, literally, on the edge of the bed.

there was silence between us for perhaps the first time ever. it was unsettling, my stomach seized and i felt like i'd either vomit or shit, breaking the silence in a most unflattering way.


well, i uh, i've... your voice finished itself. i wasn't sure what to think. i wanted to slap you into consciousness, into telling me what was going on. my stomach couldn't handle it much longer.

well WHAT? i hadn't meant to yell and i didn't fully realize i had yelled until you flinched. you turned your head away from me and pointed it at the ugly, generic landscape painting on the wall.

i've met someone.

the words reverberated and pounded in my head, an instant headache bloomed, my stomach changing into a lead weight. the room swirled for a minute, i could've sworn i was sick from alcohol. i got up, dizzy, then sat back down again and put my head in my hands. you stayed motionless which angered me.

what the fuck... was all i could muster from between my fingerswhich had risen to my face, attempting to hide the pain you were causing me.

i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. i love you. i loved you...but...it just was too difficult with your baggage. you began to rise from your spot on the chair. instinctively, probably from the drunk feeling i had, i jumped up and pushed you down, back into the chair. you looked up at me in shock as your body was thrown back.

like you have no baggage. like you should be talking about baggage. fury was rising in me like a thermometer, i could feel my face getting hot.

Submitted: February 05, 2009

© Copyright 2021 AllisonHanks. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Well I guess I should have seen something like this happening. Can't keep up a lie forever. Our feelings and our guilt gets the best of us sometimes

Fri, February 6th, 2009 4:12am



Fri, February 6th, 2009 10:47am

scott 37

Oooh our protagonist is little a physical -well you know- violently physical. Interesting option.
Keep it up, it's going very well.

Fri, February 6th, 2009 11:03pm


thanks for the encouraging words!

Fri, February 6th, 2009 3:05pm


Oh Allison, does this mean you are going to kill off one of your characters? Well..... really have them leave the scene.

I have to admit, I didnt exactly consider this as an option - more the other way about - that your main heroine left her 'normal' family and relationship and then that would have left it wide open for future exploration.

I found this turn of events very interesting - threw me a bit I must say. Nice use of descriptives and generally throughout the whole scene, highly charged emotionally.

Where to now? lol

Sat, February 7th, 2009 1:34am


oh, i'm glad you're guessing! i've figured out how to end it after all and i think you'll be pleasantly surprised, vee. keep checking back, i'll try and get close to the conclusion soon! (if it ever actually concludes) thanks for reading!

Fri, February 6th, 2009 7:59pm

Steve Littlewood

Ah yes, found out... it had to come. At the fork, which way now? So much at stake... (all horribly familiar this, at a hetero level)...

Sat, February 14th, 2009 8:45am


good, i was hoping anyone of any orientation could appreciate and relate to this. thanks for the read, steve!

Mon, February 16th, 2009 3:34pm

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