Father - response to melanielegge's intro challenge!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Alexis and Cade have a horrible father...

They were setting the table for breakfast, trying to ignore the echoes reverberating through both of their minds of the sounds of what had happened the night before. They almost succeeded, but it was impossible to block out the sound of their mother's sobbing, even though she was separated from them by two doors, and the length of the hallway. Alexis cooked the pancakes in a determinedly casual way, though she couldn't stop herself from cringing whenever their mother would let out a particularly loud cry. Cade was a bit more composed, but his weary eyes betrayed a sadness that a fifteen year old boy should not have to know. The silence in the kitchen was almost palpable, only broken by the occasional sounds of cooking, and of course, the ever-present sobs. Alexis put a pile of pancakes on a plate, grabbed a fork, and headed down the hall to their mother's room. \"How are you feeling, Mom?\" her quiet voice asked. \"Like SHIT!\" The woman screamed, making Alexis wince. \"Do you want breakfast? I brought you some pancakes; you can eat them in bed.\" She offered. \"NO! Get the hell out of here!\" Cade saw Alexis put the pancakes on a table near the bed, then quietly leave, shutting the door softly behind her. \"She's never going to get better.\" She said miserably. \"Lex, it's only been one night since it happened. She'll get over it eventually.\" But even thirteen year old Alexis could tell that he was trying to convince himself as well as her. \"How can she get over that? Dad fucking beat her, Cade!\" \"Don't swear, Lexi, Mom wouldn't like it.\" He said wearily. \"I don't fucking care! I'll fucking swear all I want!\" The girl screamed, tears escaping her eyes. \"Sweetie, it won't make Dad come back.\" He told her gently. \"I don't fucking want Dad to fucking come back he can go wherever he fucking wants to!\" Alexis yelled, before collapsing into a chair and starting up her own sobs. Cade could have easily joined her, but he knew he had to be the strong one. Their dad was gone, and probably never coming back, their mother was broken, and who knows when she would recover, if she recovers at all. And now Alexis... Cade wanted so badly wanted to just run out of the house and leave all this craziness behind, but he could never do that to his mom and sister. How would they get by? They wouldn't, he knew. \"Lexi, come here.\" He pulled her up and into his arms, rocking her back and forth, trying to comfort her. The poor girl was in full-blown hysterics now, just screaming and sobbing into his chest. He held her that way for a long, long time, and eventually the sobs quieted, and she was just crying softly into his shirt. \"Cade, why did he have to do that? Why?\" She whispered. Suddenly she pulled away. \"It was my fault, Cade! I saw him taking that woman into his room, and I didn't do anything! I was too scared... if I would have just said something, maybe the lady would have left before mom got home... then mom wouldn't have yelled, and dad wouldn't have beat her, and he wouldn't have left... Oh, it’s all my fault!\" She broke into fresh sobs. \"Lexi! Don't say that, if you had said something, he would probably have beaten you, too... Lex, where would that have left us?\" \"Maybe he would still be here.\" She suggested. \"Do you really want him here? Do you really want a father who comes home drunk every night, a father who you have spoken to maybe once this month? A father who sneaks around, cheating on his wife, our mother? Do you want a father who will run away from his kids? A father who beats our mom? Lexi, think about it. For years, he's been lying to us, stealing from us, making us suffer. We deserve a better father, and mom deserves a better husband. He was a jerk, Lex, a lying, thieving, jerk.\" He looked at her. She had gone quiet, pondering his words. \"You're right.\" And she marched into their mother's room with renewed vigor.


Submitted: July 06, 2009

© Copyright 2022 allouisa. All rights reserved.

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Comments

melanielegge

As you’ve written this as a proper story rather than just an intro (no harm done, it’s nice to see you were inspired enough to continue on!) I am just judging based on the part that I would consider to be the intro (up to "the ever-present sobs")… and it’s excellent! I was immediately drawn in to the strained atmosphere between the brother and sister, and of what was happening in another room. I really love the line “his weary eyes betrayed a sadness that a fifteen year old boy should not have to know”! It has definitely passed the ‘I want to know more’ test that I was looking for in the entries! I’d really like to read some more of your stuff!
Thank you for taking the time to enter!

(full results and winners etc have been posted in 'intro challenge, results')

Sun, July 26th, 2009 2:22pm

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thanks!! =)

Sun, July 26th, 2009 7:25am

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