Behind The Mist

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

I wrote this for Brianna's contest. I'm very happy that I actually (barely) got this done in time. :)

This poem is classified as horror, but I could have made it much creepier. I try and use a little restraint on Booksie and keep things really tame. If I wasn't posting this on the Internet, though, where it could scare younger readers... It would be very, very different. *evil grin* Anyway, enjoy!

Darkness surrounds 
A yellow island suspended 
High in the sky.

Underneath it,
Coyotes send out
Their nightly cries.

The canines are shrouded
In an eerie mist
That sparkles faintly.

Behind the mist
Lies another creature, 
Small and dainty.

Her pale skin has no flaws. 
It glows slightly,
With an unnatural sheen.

Her dark hair is strewn
Around her head
Quite haphazardly.

Her lungs are empty.
They have released
Her final breath.

Upon a mattress
Of soft, green grass,
She rests.

The sun will soon rise,
And all the world will awaken,
Except for her.

Behind the mist
She will stay,
Consumed by eternal slumber.


Submitted: October 30, 2014

© Copyright 2020 Ally Shark. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

BlackMyst

I love 6 your wording on this piece, so much that this sounds like a wonderful and mystical place to be. Well done...

Thu, October 30th, 2014 2:31am

Author
Reply

Thanks you so much! :)

Wed, October 29th, 2014 7:41pm

BriannasBooks

This is a wonderful piece! It's spooky, and the wording is excellent :) Keep up the good work! The results should be up soon :)

Sat, November 1st, 2014 2:55pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Brianna! In excited to see the results! ????

Sat, November 1st, 2014 11:53am

city-lights

WOW! this was so mysterious and spooky! I love your choice of words, perfection right there! Great job Ally! I really love this poem. ?

Tue, November 4th, 2014 9:53pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Ikky! I'm happy you liked it. :)

Tue, November 4th, 2014 2:43pm

Liam Strong

Ally! Where have you been?! This may have just become one (if not the best) of my favourite works of yours! I wouldn't even consider it horror; and by gum, your symbolism was brilliant! You've said it countless times for my work, but I'm passing it on to you! You've got a prodigal voice that tells me you shouldn't--can't stop writing. Don't stop ever. It doesn't matter how short the piece is, you write exactly what you want to say. I'm very impressed by this, but that being said, I'm usually impressed by your work. This "dark" atmosphere you're writing into motion is wonderful, and it's moving (at least to me it is). After I read the first stanza, I said to myself, she did not just do that! Ah! What a great poem, Ally!

Sun, November 23rd, 2014 10:15pm

Author
Reply

OMG Liam, you just made my month! ???? I'm sooooo happy you like this, because I really wasn't sure of myself when I wrote this piece. I guess it must have turned out better than I expected. ???? Don't worry, couldn't quit writing, even if I wanted to. The words are always stuck on my head, and if I got rid of my only way to get them out, I go insaner. (

Sun, November 23rd, 2014 5:45pm

JoelatRpg

Hi, Ally! I see you have another poem posted:) I was reading through this, and the choice of words, I think, are excellent. I like the wording 'the yellow island suspended in the sky'- that is such a unique way to describe the moon in a poem! I've never really thought of planets and moons as islands before. A well written poem, Ally! Thanks for sharing! Keep me updated!

Fri, February 6th, 2015 4:49pm

Author
Reply

I'm really glad you liked this. Thanks Joel :) I'll try to keep you updated. :)

Sun, February 8th, 2015 1:50pm

APurpleHeart

Love it-So deep and mysterious!

Wed, February 11th, 2015 2:03am

Author
Reply

Thanks :)

Tue, February 10th, 2015 6:33pm

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