I Forgive You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Domestic violence is physical, emotional, verbal, etc. Stop forgiving...You're killing yourself

Submitted: October 28, 2019

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Submitted: October 28, 2019

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You're right. I was wrong. I didn't do what I should have...

I showed too much. I expressed my emotion too frequently. I didn't stop, I should have stopped. You said to shut the fuck up. Why didn't I just shut the fuck up....

Why. Why did you turn the wheel? Why did you crave the fear that bled though my eyes as you threatened to steer us off the road? Why did you want to punch me in the face? I was helping you, I was driving you to where YOU wanted to go, to YOUR friend. Why did you put your fist up like you were gonna swing? Why did you want to see me flinch? 

Why. Why was I a stupid ass bitch. I just wanted to fix anything I could. I wanted to make you feel better. I wanted to ask questions because you wouldn't talk. I didn't mean to. I was only trying to help. Why do you look at me like that ? Like I disgust you.. like you don't want me here.. Why do your eyes pierce so deeply into mine as you call me a stupid ass bitch; and walk away. 

Why. Why did you kick me ? Why are you throwing her stroller at me?? What did I do!? Why am I punished for opening my vulnerability and emotion to you? I just want to be safe with you... Why are you walking away.. please come back. 

Why... I don't get it. Why are your hands on my throat?? Why is your voice deeper? You don't talk like that, who are you? Why are you squeezing harder... please STOP.. why aren't you stopping?? I can't catch air. WHY? Why are you doing this...

Why are you so mad? I only pushed the door cause you slammed it in my face. I didn't want it to hit me. Why are you pushing me? Stop! Why did you slam me into the wall? Why did you throw me to the floor? Please don't. Why are you chocking me again?? No this isn't what I want !! Why are you asking me that ? Why would you think that?? Don’t! Why did you hit my head into the door jam?? This hurts stop! Why are you so mad? I wasn't trying to hit you, I just didn't want the door to hit me...please stop I'm scared

Why won't you stop? Stop dragging me. Please let go it's hot. The floor is burning. This burns why can't you let go? This isn't funny. I’m saying stop. Can't you hear me?? It really hurts...Why aren't you acknowledging me? Why was this an idea...

Why is that okay? Why can you hit me? I wasn't hitting you. I was play wrestling with you. I was trying to be cute. I just wanted some attention. Why did you turn and hit me? I wasn't hurting you. Why are you hurting me? I'm telling you it hurts. Why do you keep going? No this isn't what I meant when I wanted to play. You're strong. You know that. Why are you using this reason to hit me? I don't want to play anymore. I'm sorry. Can you please stop? I don't want another bruise.

I'm sorry I was annoying. I'm sorry I didn't leave you alone when I wanted to talk our issues out. I'm sorry I upset you. I don't know what I did but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'll think about it better next time. I'm sorry. 

Yes. Yes I forgive you. I know you're sorry too...


© Copyright 2020 Allysa Damian. All rights reserved.

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